Likely to be Delayed 2-3 Years, Advice?

[Tom]

I tend towards keeping your options open and not creating obstacles. So for me having a official diploma or equivalent would be important both in case I wished to do college and for future employment.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

As a homeschool mom, there are a few things I know about graduating a homeschooler.

Saxon Math is incredibly hard for autistic kids. When a new concept is introduced, it is not reinforced at all. You won't do that same kind of math for several more lessons, other than a couple of review questions. We really disliked it. We now do Easy Peasy. It's a free homeschool website with a full curriculum. Easy Peasy All-in-One High School

As long as you've done U.S. History and World History, Chemistry and Biology, and have finished at least Algebra 1, most state universities will admit you.

With that crazy math book you're doing this year (Saxon Advanced Math is very advanced!), I would be tempted to graduate you now. But if you want to take an extra year, that's the great thing about homeschooling, you can. I've considered it with my own daughter.

Maybe to get caught up, your parents will allow you to do your science, history, and literature classes as "read only", where you read a section a day, and study it for your own benefit, and then just tell them orally what you learned. Aspies learn better that way anyway. And it'll shave some time off of your schoolyear so that you can get done faster.

 

[VernalSole1355]

Saxon Math is incredibly hard for autistic kids. When a new concept is introduced, it is not reinforced at all.

Really? We must have different curriculums then. My version repeats everything. (It used to even give you the lesson in which the subject was taught to go back to as a reference) For example, if you learn something in Lesson 2, you'll likely be doing it up until Lesson 15 regularly, and then from then on it will be on or off. But I do agree, some of the stuff that they teach is extremely hard. I'm looking at you, Proofs.

I'm pretty sure once you turn 18 your parents can no longer "shoot down" a GED because you'll be a legal adult who can do whatever the heck they want with regards to their education. However I think a high school diploma is the better choice.

Delayed 2-3 years if you don't pass this year? Why? If you're currently in 12th grade, I don't see why you should have to be delayed 2-3 years for failing this year.

Going to public school might not be a bad thing in your situation actually. And the suggestions of night classes and tutors are great as well! There are a lot of things that you can do.

Your correct in that they can't legally shoot it down, but they have already voiced heavy displeasure in that route. If I did go that way, I'd have to learn how to drive, get a job, and pay my own rent. Their words, not mine. So I'd basically be on the street otherwise. They are very old-fashioned, but rightfully so.

The reason why I'd be delayed 2-3 years is I had to delay my math to next year because of my work load this year, as well as credits not lining up. I still have electives to make up.

While I agree that going to public school might not be a bad idea, my parents don't necessarily WANT me to go to public school, but they will send me there if they have to, even though I don't necessarily function well in a public school setting. (If they can't teach me and get me to graduate, someone has to). And that's if I don't get a GED.

Basically, I'm stuck between a rock & a hard place.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Once again: As long as you've done U.S. History and World History, Chemistry and Biology, and have finished at least Algebra 1, most state universities will admit you.

Your parents can graduate you whenever. You don't need to do public school. In fact, most public school kids are really behind in their studies because of the shutdown.

Have you heard of unschooling? Perhaps you can do that next year to get caught up.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

My answer for some autistics,...a trade school.

Thank you for that observation. This country is in need of the skilled trades, and in my work I enjoyed interacting with machinists and mold makers. Plus, do not discount what such knowledge can do. Early on, I took night courses from the American Society for Quality (ASQ) in Statistics and Statistical Process Control and found that I had a facility for Applied Statistics and Statistical Design of Experiments. I was able to use this in Pharma Quality/Validation and was in demand, especially by Engineering staff.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Based on what I see I know real learning does no happen in public school or high school love watching the great courses, university appears to be where it's at.

 

[VernalSole1355]

@Yeshuasdaughter Oh I see what you mean, let me explain.

I think it has more to do with my satellite school. We don't home school on our own, we're apart of a private Christian school. We're basically a satellite of that school (we can choose our own curriculum, but we still have to follow a few hard requirements) They won't give me my diploma until I do X, Y, & Z.

So it really isn't up to me or my parents, even IF they wanted to graduate me, my parents have specifically said they wouldn't until I finish... And no, I have not heard of unschooling. What's that?

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

@Yeshuasdaughter Oh I see what you mean, let me explain.

I think it has more to do with my satellite school. We don't home school on our own, we're apart of a private Christian school. We're basically a satellite of that school (we can choose our own curriculum, but we still have to follow a few hard requirements) They won't give me my diploma until I do X, Y, & Z.

So it really isn't up to me or my parents, even IF they wanted to graduate me, my parents have specifically said they wouldn't until I finish... And no, I have not heard of unschooling. What's that?

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

This is an amazing anthology of teenagers who are homeschooled or unschooled. Some have exciting life stories, like being allowed to ride their bike to the tip of South America at the age of 16.

https://www.amazon.com/Real-Lives-Eleven-Teenagers-Stories/dp/096295912X

 

[Aspychata]

I did homeschool my daughter, we belong to a Christian School, but they didn't require religion studies, so that was nice.

You could just started studying for the GED. They have books that help you pass with pretests in the different areas. You could do tests and find your strengths and any areas that need work. They also have free online schools that send you a laptop, and you test online, your state may have this. Or you could do just one or two courses online. What's great about this option, you do it any time of the day. Good luck.

 

[VernalSole1355]

You could just started studying for the GED. They have books that help you pass with pretests in the different areas. You could do tests and find your strengths and any areas that need work. They also have free online schools that send you a laptop, and you test online, your state may have this. Or you could do just one or two courses online. What's great about this option, you do it any time of the day. Good luck.

If I wind up with a job over the summer and it has good job security/decent pay, then I may consider this option, but most likely I'll be back in school.

 

[Aspychata]

If I wind up with a job over the summer and it has good job security/decent pay, then I may consider this option, but most likely I'll be back in school.

I like the fact you have your priorities straight, in this crappy economy, a good job is muy intellegente.

However, be forwarned, the employers that actually cared about their employees are no longer around, aliens have taken their place, and they will step on you until you fall down and are replaced. Keep your resume ready. In your fifties, many of us are no longer regarded as valuable and are easily fired despite our credentials. I also noted that young employees treat older employees like dirt.

 

[VernalSole1355]

I like the fact you have your priorities straight, in this crappy economy, a good job is my intelligent.

However, be forewarned, the employers that actually cared about their employees are no longer around, aliens have taken their place, and they will step on you until you fall down and are replaced. Keep your resume ready. In your fifties, may of us are no longer regarded as valuable and are easily fired despite our credentials. I also noted that young employees treat older employees like dirt.

I've seen that firsthand. My dad's an electrician's foreman at TVA. Most of his bosses are younger than him, and half of them don't have any experience in the electric field, they have a big shiny degree though...
I agree that MOST of the big employers don't necessarily treat their employees all too well, but I'm sure there are some smaller businesses that do. Kroger is a notable exception to this (atleast my store). I see people with Down Syndrome, Autism, and other disabilities working there all the time.

 

[SDRSpark]

Your correct in that they can't legally shoot it down, but they have already voiced heavy displeasure in that route. If I did go that way, I'd have to learn how to drive, get a job, and pay my own rent. Their words, not mine. So I'd basically be on the street otherwise. They are very old-fashioned, but rightfully so.

The reason why I'd be delayed 2-3 years is I had to delay my math to next year because of my work load this year, as well as credits not lining up. I still have electives to make up.

While I agree that going to public school might not be a bad idea, my parents don't necessarily WANT me to go to public school, but they will send me there if they have to, even though I don't necessarily function well in a public school setting. (If they can't teach me and get me to graduate, someone has to). And that's if I don't get a GED.

Basically, I'm stuck between a rock & a hard place.

It sounds like your parents are the problem here - you're open to all sorts of avenues of success, they're insisting you do it THEIR SPECIFIC WAY (or they throw you out? What the heck?)

Not all parents are fit to homeschool their kids, unfortunately. I can't say if that's the case here, but even though they may be very smart, not everyone is cut out to be a teacher. Some people just don't have teaching skills. That's why I suggested that you might be better off in public school.

At this point you might want to start low key studying for your GED and looking for employment.

I don't know where you live, but you may not need to have a driver's license/car to live independently. A lot of people don't; however, they live in more urban areas where public transportation is a viable option. You may have to find employment and a living situation in a more urban area if getting a driver's license and a car is not a good option for you, for whatever reason.

I'm not suggesting you do this just to call your parents' bluff, but they may start singing a different tune about the GED if you decide to move to the city to find work to get it done on their terms (which you wouldn't have to do if they weren't threatening to throw you out in the first place).

Thank you for that observation. This country is in need of the skilled trades, and in my work I enjoyed interacting with machinists and mold makers. Plus, do not discount what such knowledge can do. Early on, I took night courses from the American Society for Quality (ASQ) in Statistics and Statistical Process Control and found that I had a facility for Applied Statistics and Statistical Design of Experiments. I was able to use this in Pharma Quality/Validation and was in demand, especially by Engineering staff.

There's a massive misconception in this country that if you're smart, you're supposed to go to college and if you're not smart you can/should go to trade school. This is not true...They pushed and pushed me to go to college (because I'm smart) and fought back when I wanted to get into a trade. I got into a trade anyway (I'm a CNC Machinist) and let me tell you, we need highly intelligent people in industry! I wish they'd stop pushing interested people away from trades because they view getting into a trade as a "waste" of a "good brain".

One thing I've noticed throughout the years of being in this industry is that the best and brightest are the people whose minds "work differently". This is one area where the ability to memorize pages of information and parrot it back for a test is not helpful - those types manage to succeed in college, get high paying jobs as engineers...and mess everything up once they get hired based on their degrees.

The visual spatial and problem solving thinkers succeed - and they're not necessarily the ones who would have succeeded in school where they were expected to memorize things and parrot them back. (Unfortunately we're the ones who have to clean up the messes left by the college graduates that the company hired based on their degrees and not their experience or real world abilities.)

It's also true that a lot of companies VALUE degrees over actual ability and experience, and that's a problem both for job seekers and for people who are already employed - I've seen people squeezed out of positions that they've held and excelled in for a over a decade because a company decided that their position requires a degree now. (But the people that they hire as a result of these policies often have no real world experience and everyone suffers due to their incompetence.)

As for proofs...I was never any good at direct proofs. I hated them, because my mind doesn't work that way. What I excelled at, and enjoyed doing, were indirect proofs. Rather than start at the beginning and prove that X=Y, you start at the end: "assume temporarily that X=/=Y". You then go through the steps to prove that X can't NOT equal Y, thereby proving that X=Y. I think I was the only person in the class who actually understood these indirect proofs and enjoyed doing them...but the "direct" form just confounded me every time. Teachers couldn't really figure out how my brain worked (well a couple of them did and gave me skills to basically teach myself when other teachers didn't "get" me); I wound up doing a lot of my own learning with the materials that I was given in school.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

There's a massive misconception in this country that if you're smart, you're supposed to go to college and if you're not smart you can/should go to trade school. This is not true...

And, I find that there is a bias against manufacturing, as if that is beneath the Professional Managerial Class who are credential driven. Though I graduated with a Masters, I love manufacturing and had a desire to promote quality. I put in time in basic research, mastering how to design experiments and analyze data, but, the best fit for my academic AND technical competence was Pharma manufacturing where i worked in Process Validation. I used a broad range of experience and expertise in my work and was very happy to work with engineers and machinists.

Want to know just how far American manufacturing has fallen? In my lifetime I have seen our country going from #1 in machine tools, the basis of manufacturing, to not even making the top 10.

 

[VernalSole1355]

@SDRSpark

I appreciate the honesty. I really do. But here's the problem with that. My mother has a disease, called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. There are 12 different kinds of it, her version is the most common one, BUT it's the one they can't seem to crack. Ironic.

Essentially, what it does is it slowly, but surely, eats away the connective tissue in her body, so her muscles therefore have to pick up the slack. Overtime, her muscles will start to give out. Her joints of her body sublux (partially dislocate) all the time, especially her hips. She becomes unable to walk and has to use a walker for days at a time. Other times, it will sublux and then go right back in. We can never tell because it's at random.

So even if I wanted to leave the house, I'm not going to be able to because I'm going to have to help my dad take care of my mom as he's slated to lose his job in the next 10-15 years...

Essentially, if I leave, I'm basically abandoning my parents, which I cannot do due to my own personal reasons and morals.

 

[SDRSpark]

@SDRSpark

I appreciate the honesty. I really do. But here's the problem with that. My mother has a disease, called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. There are 12 different kinds of it, her version is the most common one, BUT it's the one they can't seem to crack. Ironic.

Essentially, what it does is it slowly, but surely, eats away the connective tissue in her body, so her muscles therefore have to pick up the slack. Overtime, her muscles will start to give out. Her joints of her body sublux (partially dislocate) all the time, especially her hips. She becomes unable to walk and has to use a walker for days at a time. Other times, it will sublux and then go right back in. We can never tell because it's at random.

So even if I wanted to leave the house, I'm not going to be able to because I'm going to have to help my dad take care of my mom as he's slated to lose his job in the next 10-15 years...

Essentially, if I leave, I'm basically abandoning my parents, which I cannot do due to my own personal reasons and morals.

I really cannot understand their threatening to throw you out of the house then. They're either just not thinking this through (probable) or they're emotionally blackmailing you to control the course of your life. I want to believe that it's the former, so that's what I'm going with for now.

 

[VernalSole1355]

I really cannot understand their threatening to throw you out of the house then. They're either just not thinking this through (probable) or they're emotionally blackmailing you to control the course of your life. I want to believe that it's the former, so that's what I'm going with for now.

It could also just be me misunderstanding it. But I will take note of what you have said as well. I do think it's more stress than anything, as well as more guilt on my mother's part for not being able to take care of us as well as she would like (it's not her fault, though).

 

[SDRSpark]

It could also just be me misunderstanding it. But I will take note of what you have said as well. I do think it's more stress than anything, as well as more guilt on my mother's part for not being able to take care of us as well as she would like (it's not her fault, though).

I think your parents need to understand that not everyone can take the same path in life and that's okay. There's nothing at all wrong with a GED, or going into a trade. Maybe your dad wants you to do "better" than he thinks he's doing as an electrician, I don't know. (The grass isn't always greener on the other side!)

I'm not sure where you live, but not leaving your childhood home so that you can take care of your mother may really limit you in some ways. But maybe not, I don't know what type area you're in, and what opportunities exist there. But I really doubt your parents want that for you either. They'd probably like nothing more than to see you go off to university, get a degree and a high paying job, even if it takes you away from home. But that sort of life isn't in the cards for most people = oftentimes you graduate, find out the job market sucks and you're saddled with so much student loan debt that you struggle anyway.

I would bet money on your parents not wanting to be a burden to you though. That is, if they're decent folks, which it seems that they most likely are, if not a little misguided in some ways. And hey, a lot of people would love to be afforded extra time to finish school - that's not necessarily a bad thing either. But you can (and should) make your own choices about your goals in life.

You sound like a really thoughtful, bright individual who I'm quite certain will be successful wherever life takes you.

 

[VernalSole1355]

@SDRSpark Thank you for the comments. I'll be sure to keep them in mind.