Lack of interest in some subjects

[balder]

I searched a lot and couldn't find anything about that here, so I was just wondering if that happens to more people. I am a person who like reading about different subjects, and since I have obsessions that keep changing over the time, I know a lot about things that most people just heard or don't have a clue, and usually I try knowing at least something about as much subjects as I can.

But there's also a lot of daily things I was supposed to know but I'm very ignorant because I don't have any interest on them. For example, I know very few about cars. Show me a car and ask me to say its manufacturer or its model: I won't be able to tell (I even tried to learn about some popular ones, but I always forget soon).

Another thing people usually talk about here is football. Football is everywhere, and is emphasized on news. Despite that, the only reason I know football rules is because I used to play with my brother on the PC. I can't recognize more than two or three football stars, and if people ask me something about it, I'll just deviate from the subject, so they won't know I'm very ignorant about anything related to football.

Of course there are a lot of other things that I just realize I have no clue when someone ask me something related to that. I just noticed while ago that, even after living 20 year here, there are districts I didn't know the location.

Because I am very selective with who I talk to, that is not always a problem, but there are situations when you have to improvise and pray for the best.

Does anyone else here has this problem?

 

[Christian T]

I know exactly what you mean. Apart from the subjects you mention, I know little about music and modern technologies, and my NT classmates rarely talk about much else. It's not socially acceptable to have a very scant interest in music, and only listen to the popular stuff that has little artistic value - which is what I do - but it's totally acceptable to have the same approach to cinema. You're uncool if you hardly know John Mayer, but everyone understands if you don't know Fritz Lang. Nobody thinks of you as ignorant if all you watch is American comedies and action films that have been released in the last decade, and few of my classmates are interested in anything else. Although, I can always talk about films that fall outside this specific, confectionery bubble with my best friend, who also takes film seriously.

 

[King_Oni]

People could say that I'm selective and live in my own world, but there's way too much stuff to know around there. I always find it funny that it seems there's a list of "common" things people should know and like and all other things you can only get into if it's your job or a very special interest. Why is there such a thing as "common knowledge"? And with that also comes "why is there something like weird interests?" with an emphasis on weird.

Being in touch with "the common world" is something that drove me out of journalism school. I don't have the perseverance nor interest to address only a few burning issues as world problems, they aren't of any interest of mine. On the other hand, I got in trouble sometimes for being so "out of touch with the real world". But especially education where you have compulsory subjects with a lack of interest in said subject is a problem for me I guess. When I could write a paper about something I cared about I did well... really well. That does make sense, everyone would be better at favorite things, it just happens that for me (and maybe this holds true for more people on this board); the results were more extreme. I got a low score (3 or 4 out of 10) for something I didn't connect with, and scored really well (8 or higher on that same scale) when it's something I care for. Looking and remembering grades from my classmates back then, they always had something that was in between... just an average medium. No extreme highs and lows. For them it was more of a "oh well, it's just another subject".

Further down the line; yes I do have specific interests and don't know a lot about other things. Not saying I know nothing, but meh... it just doesn't resonate with what I want my life to be about. My life does not include technicalities of a car, but it does incorporate beautiful designs of said cars (shapes and industrial design in general). My life does not include sports (though I know what soccer is). My life doesn't include hacking and less superficial computer use (I just want the darn thing to work). I'm not a gamer generally speaking (yet there are games I know way more about than most people do, because I like those for a variety of reasons). The list goes on and on. The most silly example is a tabletopgame I play. I'm really hardpressed if you ask me to explain board and/or cardgames a lot of people play, but for said tabletop game; 120+ pages of rules + 80+ pages of a specific army/faction to play that game... no problem.

Funilly enough I always run into people who want to have a social chat about subject X and I'm pretty much like "erm... I have no clue what you're talking about". It's silly to impose that everyone knows and likes the same things as you. I'm not engaging in a social chat with the assumption that anyone can name me 5 titlethemes Danny Elfman did in his career. It's like there's another unwritten norm going on in "what's normal, common knowledge".

I don't know if it's an aspie problem as such, but the focussed interest part does bring up a bit more social issues I guess, since there's not a lot to talk and relate to, towards other people.

On a related note; and I said touched on this a few times in different topics already; back when I had a job, my supervisor expected me to get more into things my co-workers liked, so that I could mix in better. Basically it came down to him wanting me to watch soccer the night before, so I could talk the game with other people and not sit in a corner with a book ignoring everyone. (weirdly enough when I asked him if this extracuricular activity pays more I got a negative, lol). But that's where it gets silly and somewhat of a problem for ones personal life. If you're almost being forced to generate more accepted interests.

 

[balder]

I don't know if it's an aspie problem as such, but the focussed interest part does bring up a bit more social issues I guess, since there's not a lot to talk and relate to, towards other people.

That's what I think. One of the problems that I don't talk to girls is because I often have no idea what that specific girl would like to talk about. For girls that I meet on college, sometimes the own college becomes a topic to talk about, but never more than that. As soon as the most obvious subject is over, I don't know what to say anymore (so that disturbing silence follows). When there's a girl that likes a subject like astronomy or technology stuff, she turns being the most stalked girl, what makes her totally uninteresting for me (I just hate girls that like being surrounded by guys all the time).

When there's a group, conversations are more likely to be those general knowledge, so I totally avoid being among a talking group. When I am, I'm probably the only one who doesn't talk at all, only agreeing or not with the person who's speaking.

When I find someone that share a subject that I like, I feel we can talk for hours about that. For example, there was a girl in college coursing languages, and I came to know she was studying Latin just because she liked it. Because we used to meet often at the bus stop, we started talking a lot, but after certain time you notice that your relation with that person is all about that. When she found another person to talk more "common" stuff, she lost interest in talking about that specific subject with me.

 

[Christian T]

One of the problems that I don't talk to girls is because I often have no idea what that specific girl would like to talk about. For girls that I meet on college, sometimes the own college becomes a topic to talk about, but never more than that. As soon as the most obvious subject is over, I don't know what to say anymore (so that disturbing silence follows).

I know exactly what you mean, but surely this applies to guys as well as girls? I too dislike those group conversations, because the topics are so bland and trivial. I love having a meaningful conversation with someone about something I'm actually interested in, or something that genuinely interests them, so that it isn't just talking for the sake of it.

And yes, relationships only based on only one common interest - such as Latin - can often become a bit strained. For me, though, they're alright if I don't see too much of the person, and it's just a light acquaintanceship.

 

[buckyboy14]

I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in music or movies. Music just doesn't interest me, and I hate watching movies. My mom has tried to get me to watch movies for years. I finally told her to stop doing it, because people like different things, and it was pretty much torturous when she forced me to watch one, and I could hardly ever sit through them. When I say I don't like movies to people, they stare at me like I'm from another planet. A ton of people hate reading, and if somebody says that, nobody bats an eyelash. But if you don't like watching movies, you're a freak.

 

[King_Oni]

When I find someone that share a subject that I like, I feel we can talk for hours about that. For example, there was a girl in college coursing languages, and I came to know she was studying Latin just because she liked it. Because we used to meet often at the bus stop, we started talking a lot, but after certain time you notice that your relation with that person is all about that. When she found another person to talk more "common" stuff, she lost interest in talking about that specific subject with me.

That's the reason I used to have people on MSN for. So I could just talk about subject X exclusively with that person and not go into a lot of other stuff. I'm terrible at smalltalk and I don't care a lot about smalltalk.

So it's a reverse thing I have going on, in that I will abandon or remove people from my list if they start going into other subjects, which isn't why I contacted them in the first place. Perhaps I'm dehumanizing contacts way too much and just treat them as a mutual knowledge shrine instead of an actual person with feelings, needs and other interests as well... fine if you do, just don't annoy me with it.

 

[Soup]

@ Buckyboy: scoot over & make room for me in the freak club! I love reading BUT I dislike moves: the characters all seem un-real (because they ARE unreal) the storylines make no sense & the characters seem all alike to me. The random car crashes, explosions & strange sex (in public elevators, in restaurant bathrooms etc.) just seems stupid to me.

I have no interest in most pop-culture type subjects & I don't know anything about them. The worst for me are the celebrity small talkers who find it fascinating to torture me with their drivel about who just went into rehab (for the 380th time...) & who ran off with whom etc. My mother insisted on going to the grocery store with me to buy her own things. Usually, like today, I insist on taking her list & just getting everything on there myself. This is the lesser torture. In the store, she wants to browse (at WHAT?!? Cans of freakin' beans?!?) & since her list is disordered, she ends up having to run back to aisle 1 from aisle 6 because she forgot to grab this or that thing from her list. AAUUGGHH!

The real foray into hell takes place in the car, where I'm trapped (since I'm driving) & cannot escape. She's one of those chatty old ladies who blabs a steady stream. Last time it was about celebrities from 'her day' the 1950s & 40s (please, just strangle me NOW & put me out of my misery!!!). She went on about Marilyn Monroe's 'true' self (?). Then I was regaled with tales of Jane Mansfield, who her kids are, who her husband was, how she died...It's as if she thinks she sounds smart because she can rattle off the names of dead celebrities' also dead relatives & their often defunct, drugged-out & absurd children. It often goes like this: "BLABLABLA ELVIS PRESLEY...& you know who his mother was, don't you?" ( Uh...no.) Then comes a listing of the dead man's distant cousins!

 

[Geordie]

We'll keep doing our thing.

Lack of interest in some subjects that are must-knows? Well, that's a non-issue to me. I just want to be myself. Who cares if I don't know Maths to have enough money to go to the market? My mind could be full of artsy stuff to draw stuff worth more than paper money, who knows?

 

[Christian T]

@ Buckyboy: scoot over & make room for me in the freak club! I love reading BUT I dislike moves: the characters all seem un-real (because they ARE unreal) the storylines make no sense & the characters seem all alike to me. The random car crashes, explosions & strange sex (in public elevators, in restaurant bathrooms etc.) just seems stupid to me.

It sounds to me like you're just describing American action films - just a small pocket of the glorious world of cinema, but the only one that people ever seem to talk about when discussing films. I agree with you about these particular films - although I sometimes enjoy the escapism - but there are so many other genres and countries where films are produced. Have you thought of trying a German expressionistic silent film (like Nosferatu or Metropolis) or a bubbly French farce? If not, there could be a whole other world out there for you to explore. If you're looking for something realistic, maybe something like the minimalist Irish production Omagh would be more your style. Just don't dismiss an entire art form because of one tiny subset of it - you'll be missing out on a lot.