Is there a way to not live in an apartment when you suffer with noise sensitivity? (UK only)

[Misty Avich]

Good. Happy to help.


Then it doesn't really matter whether a new landlord is also stinking rich and greedy. That won't be any worse than where you are.


This is also my experience of landlords - particularly the stinking rich and greedy ones. If you prove that you're a reliable tenant they actually want to keep you. That's why they would be lenient. By the way, unemployment is not grounds for eviction - as long as you can pay the rent, the landlord can't legally do anything just because you become unemployed.

Only you can decide with your husband about whether to move of course, but perhaps in this case it's better the devil you know.

My husband does want to move too. Even though he's a patient NT with no hearing issues the noise above does get him down to a certain extent.
If we didn't have to put up with precious little families living above then we would stay. If they lived below then the noises they make won't bug me so much. It's the fact that they're above that makes the sound travel in weirder ways. I'd love to know the science behind that.

I have asked my husband if we could do a swap with them upstairs, they can come down and we'll go up. But for some reason he doesn't like this idea. I'm sure they wouldn't mind, as it must be a struggle with getting the stroller up and down the stairs (not that they go out ever anyway but it's still not the point), and they'd be closer to the garden so that they can let the brat run around outside. I'd rather hear them outside than thundering about above. And then I might start to like them and not see them as elephants any more.

 

[Misty Avich]

I have gone into meltdown mode because of their noise and the brat seems to have taken to running around screaming for hours, all over the apartment above. I just got fed up with having to permanently have my ears shielded all the time, that I melted down. It's new years eve and I had my heart set on having a night in playing games like Monopoly and Scrabble with my husband, along with ordering a Chinese takeaway and watching movies. All these activities require ears and communication (much desired by me) but I am denied this bit of enjoyment in my own home because of them up there. My husband and I started yelling at each other over it, he said I'm stressing him out by being stressed about them, and thinks I should just ignore it, which isn't an option for my stupid Aspie/ADHD brain to be able to do. It's really causing massive stress, it can't be good for my health. I've tried looking online for moving to a different place but it's too complicated and I don't have a clue on where to start, neither does he. And when we do it together it requires hearing and communication, which means I have to unshield my ears, which means I'll hear their stupid kid's thumping feet, which causes me to start getting impatient, then we both give up.
See the stress it is causing us? And because it's a 'darling little child' who you 'can't stop from running about', there is squat I can do about it except move.

The stress of it, just makes me want to be dead so that I can have peace forever. But then that wouldn't be the same, because I want to be ALIVE to enjoy peace. I know living in apartments is noisy but there's noise and there's THAT. I hate them so, so much. Yes, it has got to the point where it has made me selfish. Yes I am being selfish, and usually I'm more compassionate than this, but I'm sorry but when it comes to something ruining my life then it's time I have to look after myself instead of thinking of others who don't give two shits about me. I might just email the landlords telling them to let us know if a top floor apartment goes empty so that we can move up there. I just so desperately want to have the luxury of living in a home where I'm not having to be restricted by earplugs/NC headphones all the time. And yes, that is something everyone else takes for granted, so if that is luxury for me then the situation is that unbearable.

 

[Misty Avich]

I think they should build soundproof apartment blocks for childless couples/single people with autism or other disabilities. But I got called a selfish old bat for saying this on Facebook.

 

[Rodafina]

@Misty Avich
Exactly how long has this been a problem for?

 

[Misty Avich]

@Misty Avich
Exactly how long has this been a problem for?

For 2 years now. When they first moved there their baby was a newborn. But they were still noisy then, like a herd of elephants.

 

[Misty Avich]

I need some headphones that are both noise-cancelling and Bluetooth, because I have Bluetooth headphones that aren't noise-cancelling, which means I still have to have earplugs in with them on when listening to my audiobooks, otherwise I can still hear their banging and thumping up there.
So this means I have to have earplugs in for long amounts of time and it's starting to make my ears very sore on the outside.
But I've looked online and they're all quite expensive, and we literally have no money after bills and rent are paid.

So I was thinking I can either get the tenants upstairs to pay for a set of headphones like that for me because they're the reason I have to have them, or I can get them to pay for a few nights for me to stay in a quiet hotel until my sore outer ears heal. I'm smart enough to know better than to actually get them to do that, but it makes me feel like it.


What a life.

 

[Misty Avich]

They're building some new apartments literally next door, and me and my husband are wondering if it's our landlords who have bought the bit of land and are going to own those too. My husband is going to ask, and if they are, he will inquire about us moving into an upstairs apartment there when they're built. Then I'd be a lot happier.

I have heard a while ago that the landlords wanted to get more apartments built in the area, so I'm just hoping this is the case.

Please cross your fingers for me. I really need this bit of luxury (which is not having to have earplugs/headphones at all times when home). I don't mind hearing noise (except for noise caused by antisocial behaviour but nobody likes that) but noise of footsteps in rooms above my head seems to be more painful for my ears. I don't know why.
While we're here, does anyone know the scientific explanation as to why movement in a room above is more annoying/lower than noise from next door or below? Is it a physics thing, or am I just (unintentionally) awkward?

 

[Mary Terry]

They're building some new apartments literally next door, and me and my husband are wondering if it's our landlords who have bought the bit of land and are going to own those too. My husband is going to ask, and if they are, he will inquire about us moving into an upstairs apartment there when they're built. Then I'd be a lot happier.

I have heard a while ago that the landlords wanted to get more apartments built in the area, so I'm just hoping this is the case.

Please cross your fingers for me. I really need this bit of luxury (which is not having to have earplugs/headphones at all times when home). I don't mind hearing noise (except for noise caused by antisocial behaviour but nobody likes that) but noise of footsteps in rooms above my head seems to be more painful for my ears. I don't know why.
While we're here, does anyone know the scientific explanation as to why movement in a room above is more annoying/lower than noise from next door or below? Is it a physics thing, or am I just (unintentionally) awkward?

If you can't stand the pitter-patter of a 2-year-old's feet upstairs, just wait till you are living next to a construction site.

 

[Misty Avich]

If you can't stand the pitter-patter of a 2-year-old's feet upstairs, just wait till you are living next to a construction site.

Like I said, that's different lol. Most noises I can tolerate, but a kid running around in the room above me seems to be a whole different thing.
We still need to understand the scientific reasons behind this (physics).

 

[Mary Terry]

Like I said, that's different lol. Most noises I can tolerate, but a kid running around in the room ab seems to be a whole different thing.
We still need to understand the scientific reasons behind this (physics).

I'd guess that there is no insulation between the floor above you where people walk and the ceiling in your apartment.

 

[Misty Avich]

I'd guess that there is no insulation between the floor above you where people walk and the ceiling in your apartment.

Well that is true. Also they don't have carpets up there.
Noise from the room above has bothered me since early adulthood. I remember when I lived at home I wanted a bigger bedroom so we made the dining-room into a bedroom, which was downstairs. My parent's room was directly above, and when they were decorating their room and moving furniture around, it was torture for me if I was in my room below. It was unbearable.
But when they decorated the kitchen, which involved a lot more banging, it didn't bother me as much, because the kitchen was next to my room. So I could actually relax better than when the noise was from above.

My ears seem to be physically sensitive to banging from above.

 

[Judge]

The ultimate common denominator will always be the same. - Your fellow tenants, and whether or not they have any sense of consideration for other tenants.

And that probably those who are the least considerate are likely to be those who only intend to be living there temporarily, who not only accept the worst circumstances, but who are more likely to create or contribute to them as well.

Being on any top floor helps, but is not an absolute guarantee of a noiseless situation. Also living in a single bedroom unit sometimes means they are all common to one building, which may provide quieter tenants who live alone without spouses or children. (My half of the building are all single-bedroom units, and are considerably quieter than the other half with two and three bedrooms.) Worse is across the street, where there are a number of tenants with children and endless loud audio sounds and shouting that luckily I don't hear while inside my unit.

Having moved many times just to escape noisy tenants, it remains a crapshoot as to whether or not it works.

 

[Forest Cat]

I was just thinking about something, there are several materials available that can easily be attached to a ceiling to block out sound from noisy neighbors. Sound isolation pads and foam and accoustic panels and sound proofing. But these things take some work, you have to put some money and time into it and it all depends on what you are willing to do/can do. But if you do a google search for "how to block sound from neighbors" for example, there are lots of tips to find. It's not difficult to soundproof walls and ceilings and floors, but it takes a little work and effort.

I was just thinking about this because you said it's only noise from the neighbors above that you have a problem with. So you would only have to soundproof the ceiling. And that's not a huge job, it's doable. But I don't know if it is an option for you.

 

[Judge]

I was just thinking about something, there are several materials available that can easily be attached to a ceiling to block out sound from noisy neighbors. Sound isolation pads and foam and accoustic panels and sound proofing. But these things take some work, you have to put some money and time into it and it all depends on what you are willing to do/can do. But if you do a google search for "how to block sound from neighbors" for example, there are lots of tips to find. It's not difficult to soundproof walls and ceilings and floors, but it takes a little work and effort.

I was just thinking about this because you said it's only noise from the neighbors above that you have a problem with. So you would only have to soundproof the ceiling. And that's not a huge job, it's doable. But I don't know if it is an option for you.

Depends on the terms of a lease/rental agreement. Such major or minor modifications would be strictly prohibited under the lease agreement I have. All 40+ pages of it!

 

[Forest Cat]

Depends on the terms of a lease/rental agreement. Such major or minor modifications would be strictly prohibited under the lease agreement I have. All 40+ pages of it!

Yeah I was thinking about that, it's more difficult to make changes when renting. Some soundproofing can be installed without making big changes and be easily removed later. But I don't know, it was just a thought.

 

[Dagan]

I can relate to all of this. I tried for about two weeks ever living in an apartment once. Every night around 8pm, it seemed like people had a door slamming competition. I was at my limit of all that I could handle and was tempted to fight some folks. Obviously, I didn't have to resort to violence, but the real point is that people shouldn't suck so badly at pushing folks past their boiling points because they can't or just don't care to be courteous or have basic human decency. It's not that hard to be selfless and not a supreme a-hole, but a suprising majority of people sure do try to prove otherwise.

 

[Misty Avich]

Yeah I was thinking about that, it's more difficult to make changes when renting. Some soundproofing can be installed without making big changes and be easily removed later. But I don't know, it was just a thought.

No, we wouldn't be able to do that. We have spoken to the landlords about it before and they said it probably wouldn't make much difference, and it is costly if you want it to be effective, and tenants aren't allowed to do things like that ourselves.
I've been thinking, I do like these landlord's policies, because if there's any antisocial behaviour in any of their owned apartments they're on the case straight away and can evict the trouble-makers from the property for having loud parties and such.
This is where the noise I have to deal with gets complex, because no matter how loud tenants above you are when they walk about, it's understandably not classed as antisocial behaviour.
I get that. But my anxiety and having to live like this is making me just a teeny bit selfish and that is why I rather we rented a top floor apartment.

 

[Misty Avich]

Ouch, my ears are so sore from overusing earplugs. I can't sleep comfortably with my NC headphones on, it has to be silicone earplugs, as the foam earplugs don't block out sound so much. Last night they were walking about in the bedroom above our's all night. Why don't they just go to bed, or if they can't sleep then do something quietly instead of walking around a room for hours? So inconsiderate. They must know every floorboard creaks underneath their heavy feet.
So yeah, my earholes feel bruised. It's more like a bruise sort of pain than a sore skin pain, so rubbing vaseline doesn't help. I just need to go somewhere for a few days where I don't need earplugs, just to give my ears a chance to heal.

This can't go on. It's making me use up so much energy hating them upstairs including their baby, and I don't want to hate. But I do. Hate, hate, hate. It so isn't me to hate people so much, but the more pain I feel in my ears the more I hate the people upstairs.

 

[Misty Avich]

I think they've had a visitor staying for the last few days, because we've heard nothing but loud talking and banging, ALL NIGHT as well as all day. Don't these people ever sleep?

 

[Dagan]

You should leave out for a day or so but leave loud war or porn movies on tv the whole time. Revenge time.