Mems
New Member
Hello, perhaps somebody can give me an advice.
On april 1st I (31 years old) met a guy (32 years old) - let's call him Nick - and I fell in love with him. He fell in love with me as well. Our relationship lasted for 3 weeks. He hurt me so badly all the time. So, I called my girlfriend and she gave me the advice to end the relationship. Because I don't fall in love easily, but when it happens it is real and solid, I thought I will not be able to walk away from this guy, no matter how mean he is, if I don't do it as soon as possible. I needed to end this, before my love grows stronger. And I called him and told him so.
Two days after I ended the relationship I suddenly realized he could be autistic, because somebody mentioned this to me. And everything began to make sense. He was always completely surprised when I started to cry and he is just different than everybody else I've ever met. I started to read books from autistic authors and follow some autistic people on youtube. I also contacted the girlfriend of Nick's best friend and we talked a lot about Nick. She told me I was the first who seems to understand Nick a little and gave me the advice to have a chat with Nick and sort things out. We did.
For Nick I must be the most horrible person and I see his point. Because he thinks I am very unpredictable, doing whatever somebody tells me to do, ending the relationship without thinking about it before and without giving him a second chance. And I talked about him with the girlfriend of his best friend. He is extremely sensitive and surely doesn't like all of this. Well, who would? He told me that he doesn't think we could come together again because he lost his feelings for me. But we could be friends. Perhaps his feelings will come back, but he cannot guarantee me that. I know that he finds me very attractive and this gives me some hope. But he told me I was impatient and unbalanced and should leave him alone so he can think about everything. He also dates other women again.
I did everything wrong, because I did not know he was a very gentle person just using very harsh words and when stressed about stuff building a wall around him. He told me all of that, but I did not get it, it just irritated me. Now I get it. He wishes a relationship for life, dates a lot of women, but it seldomly works for longer than one evening. His longest relationship lasted 3 months and the woman was 50 years old.
Now, that I know more about him, I want to have him back. But I am passionate and impatient as hell and it costs me a lot of energy to now wait for him not knowing if he will come back.
My personality irritates him and his personality irritates me. Is it better to let him go, because I am not a person suitable for somebody like him? Will he come back? How do I behave so that he SEES that I got it now? How long do I have to wait until he comes back if he comes back? Well, how do you know? Still, perhaps you can give me your opinion, I would be very grateful.
On april 1st I (31 years old) met a guy (32 years old) - let's call him Nick - and I fell in love with him. He fell in love with me as well. Our relationship lasted for 3 weeks. He hurt me so badly all the time. So, I called my girlfriend and she gave me the advice to end the relationship. Because I don't fall in love easily, but when it happens it is real and solid, I thought I will not be able to walk away from this guy, no matter how mean he is, if I don't do it as soon as possible. I needed to end this, before my love grows stronger. And I called him and told him so.
Two days after I ended the relationship I suddenly realized he could be autistic, because somebody mentioned this to me. And everything began to make sense. He was always completely surprised when I started to cry and he is just different than everybody else I've ever met. I started to read books from autistic authors and follow some autistic people on youtube. I also contacted the girlfriend of Nick's best friend and we talked a lot about Nick. She told me I was the first who seems to understand Nick a little and gave me the advice to have a chat with Nick and sort things out. We did.
For Nick I must be the most horrible person and I see his point. Because he thinks I am very unpredictable, doing whatever somebody tells me to do, ending the relationship without thinking about it before and without giving him a second chance. And I talked about him with the girlfriend of his best friend. He is extremely sensitive and surely doesn't like all of this. Well, who would? He told me that he doesn't think we could come together again because he lost his feelings for me. But we could be friends. Perhaps his feelings will come back, but he cannot guarantee me that. I know that he finds me very attractive and this gives me some hope. But he told me I was impatient and unbalanced and should leave him alone so he can think about everything. He also dates other women again.
I did everything wrong, because I did not know he was a very gentle person just using very harsh words and when stressed about stuff building a wall around him. He told me all of that, but I did not get it, it just irritated me. Now I get it. He wishes a relationship for life, dates a lot of women, but it seldomly works for longer than one evening. His longest relationship lasted 3 months and the woman was 50 years old.
Now, that I know more about him, I want to have him back. But I am passionate and impatient as hell and it costs me a lot of energy to now wait for him not knowing if he will come back.
My personality irritates him and his personality irritates me. Is it better to let him go, because I am not a person suitable for somebody like him? Will he come back? How do I behave so that he SEES that I got it now? How long do I have to wait until he comes back if he comes back? Well, how do you know? Still, perhaps you can give me your opinion, I would be very grateful.
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