Is it possible for an Aspie to attain the social skills of a NT?

[umbrellabeach]

Introversion and extroversion don't really have anything to do with social skills. Introversion means you get energy from being alone and are drained when you're around people for too long, and extroversion is the opposite of that. Most NT introverts and extroverts can interact equally well when they want to. Although, I can see that difficulty with social interaction could tire a person out too. It tires me for sure.

 

[Vanilla]

Introversion and extroversion don't really have anything to do with social skills. Introversion means you get energy from being alone and are drained when you're around people for too long, and extroversion is the opposite of that. Most NT introverts and extroverts can interact equally well when they want to. Although, I can see that difficulty with social interaction could tire a person out too. It tires me for sure.

True. Also wanted to add that there are probably Aspie introverts, and Aspie extroverts as well; though neither may be as outgoing as most NTs, generally speaking

 

[Judge]

True. Also wanted to add that there are probably Aspie introverts, and Aspie extroverts as well; though neither may be as outgoing as most NTs, generally speaking

Yes, I find the notion of Aspie extroverts to be fascinating.

Especially reading about some suspected of being as such....like Winston Churchill. Have no idea if it could be true...

 

[Vanilla]

Yes, I find the notion of Aspie extroverts to be fascinating.

Especially reading about some suspected of being as such....like Winston Churchill. Have no idea if it could be true...

Yeah, me too

I suppose there are a lot of celebrities who are on the suspected AS list, as opposed to the confirmed AS list. It'd be great to learn more about those Aspies, as they seem to have integrated in to the history books, or entertainment industries, very successful, and with little detection. I'd love to meet a few of them, and see what they're like.

 

[paloftoon]

Being a social butterfly is not all it's made out to be. Be able to communicate, but you don't have to trust most people, or have only a degree of trust. It's too easy for us to do that or to totally curl up in a ball and run away. Life is complicated and we have to deal with it- that won't change, that is for sure.

 

[Vanilla]

Being a social butterfly is not all it's made out to be. Be able to communicate, but you don't have to trust most people, or have only a degree of trust. It's too easy for us to do that or to totally curl up in a ball and run away. Life is complicated and we have to deal with it- that won't change, that is for sure.

True. You can make as many acquaintances as you'd like, but generally speaking, only a handful of people are truly your friend. Being a social butterfly seems to be more for the sake of having fun, or for networking, than actually having a deeper connection (as you would in a one on one situation). It's not for everyone, but I suppose it depends on what you're looking for.

I like a bit of both, when I'm able to find it, but the close, solid, friendship is always the more valuable relationship for me in the end.

 

[umbrellabeach]

True. Also wanted to add that there are probably Aspie introverts, and Aspie extroverts as well; though neither may be as outgoing as most NTs, generally speaking

Yes, I've read some threads on Aspie forums about whether or not the users are introverted or extroverted, and some said they were extroverted.

 

[Drake Marino]

True. Also wanted to add that there are probably Aspie introverts, and Aspie extroverts as well; though neither may be as outgoing as most NTs, generally speaking

That is so true. My ex boyfriend had Asperger's, yet somehow he was a super extroverted social butterfly. The way he socialized was a bit atypical at times, though. I'm still crazy jealous of him!

 

[wyverary]

That is so true. My ex boyfriend had Asperger's, yet somehow he was a super extroverted social butterfly. The way he socialized was a bit atypical at times, though. I'm still crazy jealous of him!

One of my former managers was just such an extroverted Aspie. I guess he had lots of connections to the town, but somehow he still seemed to manage to know EVERYBODY and get along with just about anyone. I still miss him, actually, I quite liked him myself.

 

[atrocityexhibition]

My quick answer would be 'probably' - but I cannot imagine a scenario where it would not take a lot of effort. I don't just mean the effort to learn all the skills - but, more so, the actually effort of pulling it off when you are putting those skills to use. I don't think it would be a fun thing to do over time.

Have there been times that you have been able to socialize effortlessly?

That's the key part: Effort. At least according to my own experiences, I think aspies can perform at an NT level of social navigation, but it can be much more draining than it would be for an NT person. But to answer the thread question, I don't know if it's possible for an aspie to just completely buck their nature and outgrow it or something, like completely move past the difficulties forever. There could be exceptions though, I guess.

 

[Ste11aeres]

One of my former managers was just such an extroverted Aspie. I guess he had lots of connections to the town, but somehow he still seemed to manage to know EVERYBODY and get along with just about anyone. I still miss him, actually, I quite liked him myself.

I think one can fall into the trap of believing all Aspies are introverts, because introverted Aspies spend more time online. And I think most people get most of their knowledge of Aspieness from the online Aspie culture.
Also, I think athiest/agnostic people spend more time online than religious people, at least from what I've observed.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Are we actually worse socially? Or do we just not socialise in a way that NTs can appreciate or understand?

The bluntness is difficult to take. Even though most people say they always want the truth doesn't mean they can always handle the truth. Being honest and telling the truth all the time is great (I love that part of Aspies), but it's all in the delivery that counts.

 

[ExplosiveTMT]

My social skills have gotten better, but I have few friends by choice.
I believe in quality over quantity.

 

[square_peg]

Yes. Through watching and imitating I'm not too bad at it now. Still quite uncomfortable for me but point being I can do it.

 

[reveric15]

I can be very extroverted at times but I prefer being so with friends and family I'm comfortable with. Or talking to people about topics I am comfortable with. I hate small talk with strangers or people I barely know, and I'm not interested in meeting people I know I'll never see or talk to again (like on an airplane).

I do not have full NT social skills but I have learned a lot, like who I can or cannot trust to mimic or rely upon for backup. My wife helps me a ton with this, to navigate and give feedback on how I did. As a pastor this is very important for me because I am constantly around people.

 

[square_peg]

I hate small talk with strangers or people I barely know, and I'm not interested in meeting people I know I'll never see or talk to again (like on an airplane).

I'm exactly the same!

 

[Ste11aeres]

. As a pastor this is very important for me because I am constantly around people.

Like Sportster, I'm kind of in awe that you've managed to be an AS pastor.

 

[paloftoon]

I think if our survival depends on it, many can force themselves to be "social" enough to make money even if we don't like doing it. There's nothing wrong with that. We all need to survive and earn money for food and shelter somehow! I'm definitely much more "social" now than before, but even I tend to look for the groups where someone is by themselves if I can if I'm at a big party. There's usually someone else or others by themselves or just keep moving around. If not, consider leaving early. Also consider if you've attempted to talk to everyone at the party (until you get tired to try, but made a valiant effort if so be it) and they don't respond or have responded but there is nothing else to do. There are a few people I have decided not to talk to at a party if it looks like they are too cliquey or too involved with someone else they are talking to too.

 

[Berianireth]

Introversion and extroversion don't really have anything to do with social skills. Introversion means you get energy from being alone and are drained when you're around people for too long, and extroversion is the opposite of that. Most NT introverts and extroverts can interact equally well when they want to. Although, I can see that difficulty with social interaction could tire a person out too. It tires me for sure.

I am naturally very inclined to be quiet, but when you do get me talking I tend to be very abrupt and chattery. I get mistaken for a very extroverted person from time to time!
I am actually pretty good at blending in during certain social events. I never figured out wild parties or really intimate gatherings, but I do well in in-betweens. I pass as having great social skills sometimes because I'm less likely to try to take over a conversation with my personal stuff than most.
I think it's entirely possible for someone with an ASD to catch-up socially. Maybe you will always be the oddball or the quiet one, but you could probably manage a small group of close friends anyway. And people that have lots of friends aren't really friends with all of them. Who cares right?