• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Inability to wear my wedding ring

Athelstan

Athelstan

Active Member
I can't wear my wedding ring for long periods of time. I might go 1-3 days, but the whole time I am miserable and can't stop thinking about it, and so I eventually take it off. I will go weeks without putting it back on. I feel like it is suffocating my finger, squeezing the veins on my finger, and I feel like I can feel my pulse all around the ring, and like my finger is going to burst. The thing is, it's loose, not even tight, but it still feels like this to me. The indention it makes around my finger from prolonged wearing is disturbing to me.

So just don't wear it, right? But it causes mega problems with my wife. She doesn't understand why I don't wear it. I try to explain the discomfort, but it's beyond her understanding as a NT woman.

Does anyone else have this issue? I have suggested TRYING - as I don't know if this will be OK for me - putting it on a chain and wearing it as a necklace, but she isn't for that idea.
 
My wife doesn't wear her's. But it's due to allergic reaction rather than sensory issues.
How long have you had it? I found it much more distracting when I first got mine than I do now.
You might find you can desensitize yourself to it if you gradually build up the time you wear it. Just don't push it too long each time. Try increasing the time you wear it each time, but take it off before it's too uncomfortable.
It might also help discussing why you wear one. Is it just tradition (important for NTs)? a symbol to others you are taken? a reminder to yourself you are taken?
 
Harrison: It isn't too tight and by loose I mean that there's no reason I should have these feelings because of the ring itself. It's a good fit, just doesn't feel good to me.
 
You obviously have a great sensitivity with your skin! Can you wear male necklace? If so, perhaps you could wear your wedding ring around your neck, so to speak.

Sometimes my skin is very sensitive to the touch, almost sore. But if anything, I panic if I forget to put my wedding ring on, because well, I have worn it for 23 years and so it feels very natural, but I cannot wear any other ring, for I would get that sensitive feeling.

It is very difficult to explain it to one's loved one! I know that my husband would not take my word for it, if I had the same issue; he would think I am making up an excuse, to pretend I am not married! So you see, he is the "female" in this respect lol
 
My skin is indeed very sensitive. That's where the bulk of my sensory issues are. I cannot touch hundreds of every day things because they feel foul to me and give me the chills. If I touch something like this I must touch a smooth surface (NOTHING fabric, glass or marble or metal is best) and in more extreme cases (like yarn) I must touch a smooth surface AND get the affected area wet.
 
My husband goes long periods without wearing his when we're at the house. He tries to make sure he has it on when he leaves the house though. Except when he was working at a factory, I was glad for him to leave it home because I didn't want to get a call to pick him up at the hospital one day because he'd had a finger yanked off because his ring got caught in a machine. One thing we did talk about was getting a nice chain for him so he could wear his ring as a necklace and still have it with him so he wouldn't feel like he was out flaunting for women by not wearing his ring.

Before we married, I knew I didn't like wearing rings. Mostly due to people trying to crush me when they'd shake my hand and rings made that painful. So I picked out a "training ring" for myself because I did want to wear a wedding ring, and resigned myself to enforce the "do not touch" part of my personality. I very rarely take my ring off, I feel a bit naked without it and I've gotten used to it being there. Me and the training ring had some words with each other though, it wasn't a pleasant adjusting stage.
 
Athelstan said:
? I have suggested TRYING - as I don't know if this will be OK for me - putting it on a chain and wearing it as a necklace, but she isn't for that idea.
Click to expand...

I'd go for that and I'm NT. Some people just can't wear rings. I like rings, but I usually get a rash around the ring from soap. I actually had to stop wearing my graduation ring because of that. If I was married and couldn't wear my wedding ring, I would have no choice but to wear it on a necklace. Your spouse should understand if it makes you uncomfortable, unless there are trust issues.

I'm not married, but I have to admit that I would like to see MY ring on MY "hunny's" finger. That's just because I'm old fashioned, though. :)
 
Last edited:
Many of us have tactile hypersensitivity on certain areas of our bodies. How aware of what ASD entails is your wife? There surely are things even she finds intolerable, so I am hoping she can relate some. If your behavior is trustworthy, perhaps reminding her of the famous aspie loyalty might help.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom