In need of guidance

[lostinlife]

I am 22, I feel that I have low functioning autism. Never been diagnosed. My parents are poor and uneducated about autism. So I have to depend on myself to get help. Currently I have no job or money coming in, so I can't get help from a professional psychotherapist. On top of that, I live in a third world country. I can't get any help from the government.

My life is complete hell, I am completely lost. I really lack social skills and it's hindering my progress in life. I have no friends, no contact with the outside world. I lack general knowledge about current events and street smarts. I have no other option but to spend most of my time on my laptop, playing video games or watching tv shows.

I see no future for myself. I am pursuing a degree but I am falling very behind due to my slowness is social situations. My degree requires me to do lab work and I have made tons of enemies working in the lab. My lab mates always complain how slow I am and it ends up in bullying. It's funny because I do most of the work and they still call me slow.

People bully me and push me aside, so I can't get help from anyone. I have ptsd from all those years of rough treatment.

Another problem I have is that my dad is a landlord and our only source of income is from the rents. He is really old and I need to take over this business soon but I am clueless in this area. I don't know anyone and don't know how to solve problems (like paying tax, collecting rent, paperwork) and don't know how will I manage all this. Social skills is a must to be a landlord in the place where I live. Here everyone is very social and someone like me is considered insane. Unless you are a social beast, people won't take you seriously and create problems (bullying, bad behavior).

I would really appreciate if someone guided me on how to tackle all these problems. Please help.

 

[onlything]

Welcome to AutismForums, lostinlife.
Concerning the landlord situation,I would suggest going to your father and asking him to show you everything that has to do with it being a landlord. If you're doing this much during lab, you're smart enough to understand the non-social parts of the job. Try to learn these first. If you feel you can't deal with it, you will need to find a way to earn enough money to survive in different way.

Concerning social aspect... try online resources. Learn about basic nonverbal language, ask questions here whenever you cannot understand a situation. It's going to be hard but it's doable.

Bullying is the biggest problem I see though. It disturbs your education and causes unnecessary stress. I'd need to get some more details on that situation to think of a way to act. Things that worked for me may not be acceptable in your institution after all.

As I said, it's in no way easy but still doable.

 

[clg114]

Welcome to AutismForums.

 

[ksheehan88]

Welcome

 

[lostinlife]

Concerning the landlord situation,I would suggest going to your father and asking him to show you everything that has to do with it being a landlord.

Thanks for the reply.
This would be easy if my father was sensitive and caring. My father is a "my ---- don't stink" type. He never cared for me much. He only cares that I go through my education and get A's.
He gives me very little money to support myself with and gets angry over the smallest things. He has never taught me anything in life and that's why I am unable to learn anything from him. Though he knows I have difficulties with socializing, he doesn't recognize it as a problem. According to him, I am simply not trying hard enough.

As you can see, my life is very challenging.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Another problem I have is that my dad is a landlord and our only source of income is from the rents. He is really old and I need to take over this business soon but I am clueless in this area. I don't know anyone and don't know how to solve problems (like paying tax, collecting rent, paperwork) and don't know how will I manage all this.

Sounds like a big problem ,right?

Big problems are made of small problems.

You need to break down everything into the smallest parts you can think of.

A long list,right?

This list is your commitment to yourself .

Everything has to be written down in a way that you can refer back to easily .

Will you start work on a list?

Ask for specific help with the list,as you go.

There will be specific sections in dealing with tenants is a particular irksome one.

Tenants can easily be bullies and liers, any excuse not to pay, a separate list for them.
Each specific problem can be broken down when you get to that point.

I've dealt with tenants,badly,as a landlord .

You have to find the right professional people to do the dirty work for you.

It all depends on the profit and loss, but you're not at that point yet.

You can start small by learning from you dad,bit by bit.

If he is willing to help you .

 

[LucyPurrs]

Welcome to this website It's a good place to be and you will get information, support, acceptance and understanding from the members here.

 

[kay]

You may not be a man, I don't know, but this website here seems to some life basics that may or may not be helpful. Finance basics, social tips, ect... a lot of it for people about your age. It's not written with ASD in mind so some things might not quite apply and I think it is primarily for people residing in the US and Canada, but some of it should be useful no matter where you live. It's not of the Playboy mentality and is a perfectly good read for for women. I've been reading it a bit the last few days and have been surprised at some of the topics, such as how to write a check. If you are a woman not interested in raising testosterone or how to wear a tie just skip that and go straight to
https://www.artofmanliness.com/arti...b02e2443beec614&at_ab=per-2&at_pos=0&at_tot=5

Sorry you are in the situation you are in. I was in a similar one, but without even college. My mom was and is very passive and so she just didn't do much at all to help me. She seemed to think that magically at 18 I should just know. I'm 46 now and still struggle with a lot of basics.

 

[onlything]

Thanks for the reply.
This would be easy if my father was sensitive and caring. My father is a "my ---- don't stink" type. He never cared for me much. He only cares that I go through my education and get A's.
He gives me very little money to support myself with and gets angry over the smallest things. He has never taught me anything in life and that's why I am unable to learn anything from him. Though he knows I have difficulties with socializing, he doesn't recognize it as a problem. According to him, I am simply not trying hard enough.

As you can see, my life is very challenging.

I understand that your father is out of the question then.

Have you checked if your neighbourhood/school has any resources available concerning economical problems? After all, you don't have to deal with being a landloard taking the mantle after your father if you don't want to and you have other viable options. It's a possibility but it doesn't have to be your life.

If you are sure that being a landlord is a must for you at the beginning, then try online resources. Then, you could try to go through agencies if there are any like this in your country. Honestly, I'm not much of a specialist in this topic but maybe Fridge would have some advice for you.