If you were diagnosed at a later age, how did your family react?

[BNeg01]

Most of my family is not surprised, except for my maternal grandparents. According to them, I had a single friend in third grade, therefore I can't possibly be any different than anybody else and my struggles are my own choice. They are in their late 70s so I give them slack for the generational difference. I was wondering if anybody else had these experiences

 

[Crossbreed]

My mother remains cordial to me but does not grasp ASD1, just 2 & 3. She attributes my social awkwardness to my giftedness, but her dad, my dad and many of her co-workers were engineers.
She appears to be ADHD.

My non-ASD children recognize their ASD2 & 3 siblings but hold "ASD1" to an excuse for social disregard, instead. Besides my ASD2 & 3 kids, I have a 2e son & a face-blind daughter who (I believe) is a closeted Aspie.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I have not been diagnosed but as I think I am on the spectrum I told them.

My father, who Is way less functional than me told me he want not even hear about that. For him that "Autist" word means some kind of dark illness that would lead him to be imprisioned, so he want to know nothing about being ill. And I better dont say such things. So we just talk about other things and ignore that.

My mother dont understand about that and have better things to do (like praying). So she just ignores that thing and we talk about other topics.

My older sister is also less functional than me, but she has too much problems to invest time to learn about that. She does has time to send me articles that she has not read whose titles suggest (her) that I am not autistic. Like "Autist cant think originally" and so she says (kindly): "See, you are a very original person, so you cant be that thing, you dont need to worry".

My second sister ignored the matter but somehow it bothers her that I have found another way of being different. She is a very nice person, just want me to be normal. Everything in life can be solved with a nice dose of normality. I think she is the more NT of us...excet that time she bited other childs on the head... or when she needs to go bed 2 days... or when she fainted when vacined... But well, normality is her way in life.

My smaller sister probably dont even remember I said that. I have told her that its not normal the delay to speak of his son, and that she should check him with a good specialists because of our ASD traits. But the doctor (the one you go when you need antibiotics) told her "Some children speak later" and that is good for her since that is the specialist and I am just her brother who speaks nonsenses. To me she has a very nice dose os ADHD. When my parents gave her a bike, she lended it to other kids so she could run behind the bike... Biking was so low action for her...

My wife, who studied psicology, and specially loved the Autism thing told me (very seriously) that I was wrong because autists were people who could not do very basic things I do, like looking to the eyes. She has no idea of what the DSM 5 is, not to blame her. That topics were not asked for her exams, so why to bother studing them? With a lot of insistence on my part she now agrees that I may have some autist traits. But she will read nothing I suggest on the matter. We saw toguether the Netflix serie about autists dating and that helped her to understand that I may have some traits and helped me to understand that I am at another level of functionality that those people. My wife is more aware now of my needs of resting after social stuff.

My daugther is still understanding it, she has 8. To her this is a matter of how much can I play with her. But she does very keen observations from time to time. I hope she will still love me when she becomes an adult.

So thats is my case. Will love to see what others have to say.

 

[LoneWolf]

My family reaction was much more positive than your own, but I felt like sharing anyway. Basically, my mother was surprised, but she fully accepted me and gave me more information on autism, making sure I understood that being autistic is not something bad. My father started to see me differently (in a good way) and has been changing his treatment of me to take care of my needs. My stepmom might be struggling internally to understand this whole thing about me being autistic, yet she's been attempting to interact more positively with me. My younger brother doesn't show much interest in learning about autism and the middle brother has been probably the one with the best reaction since he's been actively asking me about my needs.

I was a lucky one though. I know about a young woman my age whose parents refuse to even acknowledge her diagnosis and tried to prevent her from getting it. Luckily, she's fully independent now and managed to get her diagnosis, plus the help she needs.

 

[sebya]

I didn't tell them. Except for my immediate family. I mean, I didn't tell my siblings, parent, etc.

 

[Ken]

My family had no reaction at all.

I suspect that is because I have never told them.

I see no benefit in telling them. They already know me and have their opinions about me. Being informed that I'm autistic would not improve anything. It would just add another source of stigma.

 

[Sherlock77]

I was diagnosed at age 48

I have brought it up in general conversation with other family members and friends, it has never really been a big deal to anyone I've encountered so far

 

[Judge]

Self-diagnosed at age 55. Told my brother and eventually it made perfectly good sense to him.

Told my cousin and she essentially just blew me off. Constantly marginalizing autism in general if and when I bring it up.

Told a good friend and to this day he just doesn't know what to think.

 

[selena]

My wife, who studied psicology, and specially loved the Autism thing told me (very seriously) that I was wrong because autists were people who could not do very basic things I do, like looking to the eyes. She has no idea of what the DSM 5 is, not to blame her. That topics were not asked for her exams, so why to bother studing them? With a lot of insistence on my part she now agrees that I may have some autist traits. But she will read nothing I suggest on the matter. We saw toguether the Netflix serie about autists dating and that helped her to understand that I may have some traits and helped me to understand that I am at another level of functionality that those people. My wife is more aware now of my needs of resting after social

It sounds like your wife just took a class or two in psychology instead of majoring in it. I went to an actual psychologist who expressed her disbelief that I had been in college for 4 years and made exactly 0 friends, and she was supposed to be an expert on young adult issues.

These days, when I'm so desperate I consider going to therapy, I remind myself that money is better spent going to Disneyworld or something.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

It sounds like your wife just took a class or two in psychology instead of majoring in it. I went to an actual psychologist who expressed her disbelief that I had been in college for 4 years and made exactly 0 friends, and she was supposed to be an expert on young adult issues.

These days, when I'm so desperate I consider going to therapy, I remind myself that money is better spent going to Disneyworld or something.

I agree on that it sounds like she just took some classes, on this topic and on many more in which I have deeper and more up to date knowledge. But her proffesional Psicologist title seems to disagree with us.

And she told me that she is worried with the level of her classmates....

I better pay for a nice massage or a new videogame.

On the other hand I know some very good autism Spanish Psicologists, they are very active with the spanish autism community in YouTube, Instagram and other social nets.

 

[Tom]

I've told all 4 of my siblings but they had no noticable 'reaction'. We always knew we were an odd set and it was just taken matter of fact and they thought they might be on the spectrum too perhaps. We had already become familiar with the idea of HFA as it became more commonly known in the 90s and began showing up distinctly in the next generation, our children. We had all needed mental health therapies along the way and it just seemed a clarification and obvious our kids likely got it from us.

 

[Storm Hess]

Most of my family is not surprised, except for my maternal grandparents. According to them, I had a single friend in third grade, therefore I can't possibly be any different than anybody else and my struggles are my own choice. They are in their late 70s so I give them slack for the generational difference. I was wondering if anybody else had these experiences

My mother will deny that I'm on the spectrum till her dying day. I guess the implications that she may be on the spectrum as well, scares the crap out of her. She's in her late 70's, thinks ADD/ADHD and ASD are nothing more than 'not enough discipline toward the children'...in other words, nothing that a good beating wouldn't help.

My sisters aren't even bothered...mentioned it once and that was it. They think the same about ADD/ADHD and ASD as my mother, so that's pretty much how my life has been.

 

[AprilR]

The smallest implication that i May have autism horrifies my mom so i will never tell them. If even parents can't handle this knowledge i dont think anyone will ever so
İ will forever act and mask

 

[Alexej]

İ will forever act and mask

That sounds like a let of work for you, hard work too. My fear, speaking for myself, would be that I forget who I was behind the mask and come to regard me with my mask. My $0.02 worth

 

[Alexej]

I was diagnosed later in life (Aspergers - using ICD 10)
I have told my mother - she was a teacher and I dont think she has taken it onboard in any meaningful way. However, at her age, 95, I cut her some slack in this one.

I told my 2 brothers, and one is possibly on the spectrum himself, but he has not taken it onboard that I have seem, and the other brother seems to have heard it and accepted it.

My two daughters so not seem to understand that it does make a difference to how I react to things and how I perceive things.

My wife was the one who encouraged me to get assessed and was there through the interview process was there with me when I was told. She is OK with the diagnosis, but finds it hard at times to live with my autism (and alexithymia)

 

[LadyS]

My parents had no clue what I was referring to. South Asian culture (esp with older generations) is very behind in terms of knowledge, awareness, and acceptance of anything other outside of neurotypical. We don't even have the necessary terminology in our dialect to explain such things, so it was painstaking to explain it to my parents.

This is why I think it's still important to raise awareness. In western communities it seems people are at least aware of autism and are mostly in the understanding or acceptance stage, but it's just not fully there yet everywhere else.

After explaining it to them they understood, having raised us and accepted it although I don't think they truly understand all the implications of it. I'm only beginning to realize that it's possible that my mother is on the spectrum as well.

 

[Magna]

My mom died a year before I was diagnosed so she never knew. Out of all my family, I wish she would have been the one to know. I think she and I could have had a lot of conversations about my childhood and adolescence that would have been helpful with her filling in "pieces of the autism puzzle".

My dad doesn't discount my diagnosis (professional Dx) both autism and also ADHD. We don't talk about it at all though and he doesn't ever ask me anything about it. We've always had a surface-level relationship so that's nothing new.

My sister accepts it but also discounts it in a way because she says ASD is in her opinion so over-diagnosed.

I told an aunt of mine via email and she never acknowledged it and instead completely ignored what I'd said about it.

 

[David C.]

Hey there! my first post here. When my parents approached me I was the one in denial and disbelief. I resisted for a few months but agreed to get tested. As far as family being supportive or not, they mostly all have been aside from my brother who is 2 years older then me. His stance is that its all up to me to get "Better" and that all I have to do is to "Just do it". It has caused a huge strain on our brotherly relationship and he still is resistant to my diagnosis. For back story or context, I was diagnosed when I was 23, and now I'm 34.

For as long as I can remember, I've tried to be "Normal" and "Just like everyone else". I'm like a stealth autistic person because people cant tell and they sometimes make jokes about people with Autism and I happily inform them that I am in fact "Autistic". People mostly are in disbelief and exclaim "What? No way, I couldn't tell at all!" I usually respond with "Neither did anyone else, not even myself!". Some people straight up don't believe me. So to get back to topic, my brothers the only one that I know of are supportive and understanding. However, like I said above, the general populace are either very surprised or don't believe me. Often I feel like an imposter myself and don't want to believe it after all the work I've done to "Be like everyone else.". Since my nephew is also on the spectrum, I've seen a lot of myself in him and it's certainly validating. Thankfully my sister took action when the first suspicions came to her mind and my nephew was able to get cervices much earlier then me and has been doing a lot of work to have a more successful and fulfilling life.

I hope this helps anyone, even a little. <3

 

[Darkkin]

Pretty much this:

 

[Streetwise]

Hey there! my first post here. When my parents approached me I was the one in denial and disbelief. I resisted for a few months but agreed to get tested. As far as family being supportive or not, they mostly all have been aside from my brother who is 2 years older then me. His stance is that its all up to me to get "Better" and that all I have to do is to "Just do it". It has caused a huge strain on our brotherly relationship and he still is resistant to my diagnosis. For back story or context, I was diagnosed when I was 23, and now I'm 34.

For as long as I can remember, I've tried to be "Normal" and "Just like everyone else". I'm like a stealth autistic person because people cant tell and they sometimes make jokes about people with Autism and I happily inform them that I am in fact "Autistic". People mostly are in disbelief and exclaim "What? No way, I couldn't tell at all!" I usually respond with "Neither did anyone else, not even myself!". Some people straight up don't believe me. So to get back to topic, my brothers the only one that I know of are supportive and understanding. However, like I said above, the general populace are either very surprised or don't believe me. Often I feel like an imposter myself and don't want to believe it after all the work I've done to "Be like everyone else.". Since my nephew is also on the spectrum, I've seen a lot of myself in him and it's certainly validating. Thankfully my sister took action when the first suspicions came to her mind and my nephew was able to get cervices much earlier then me and has been doing a lot of work to have a more successful and fulfilling life.

I hope this helps anyone, even a little. <3

Just like the real world not all are supportive of every person with autistic neurology