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I would... If I Were...

Celebrate. Or despair, depending on the conditions. And probably start talking to the seagulls.

If I became a billionnaire then 10 mins later was told I had 2 days left to live (natural causes, and no way of avoiding it), I would....
 
I would set up bank accounts where the interest would be paid to all my family members so they had an assured monthly income for the rest of their lives, and do the same for a list of charities and other causes and organisations that I wanted to support.


If I had a working space ship (along the line of the Star Trek enterprise), I would . . .




Edit for spelling mistake
 
If I had a working space ship (along the line of the Star Trek enterprise) I would . . .
go to the moon so I could jump and jump and jump.

If I were 3 inches tall, I would...
 
If I were 3 inches tall I would lasso a squirrel and ride through the trees on it's back, w'hoo!


If I were a tree I would . . .
 
If I were a tree, I would be evergreen so that I could be warm
all year round.

If I were liquid, I would...
 
If I were a hazlenut I would wrap myself in chocolate and eat myself :D

If I were a man I would ...
 
If I was a man, I'd think it perfectly normal to lie on the sofa and drink alcohol and brag about rugby and cricket and my girls and belch and all that other manly stuff.... Hang on... I thought I was a man. Maybe I just haven't grown up yet?

If I was a woman ....
 
If I were a woman,
I wouldn't be surprised.
Not much anyway, since I started out as a girl baby,went through puberty,
and am a grown adult female now.

If I were having an out-of-body experience...
 
I would annoy all the other lunar animals with my biting.

If I had a campervan, I would ...
 
Wonder if there was more to life than raping and pillaging, I would also ask my fellow vikings "why the **** don't we move somewhere warmer, if we weren't cold all the time maybe we wouldnt be suchs dicks too everyone?"

If I were a cartoon....
 
If I were a cartoon, I'd be xkcd/Peanuts/Far Side/Calvin & Hobbes/Rarebit Fiend.

If I were a sculpture...
 
If I were a Harlequin, I could be a romantic clown, in this style,
because it would make me feel crazy to have to wear
a multi-colored or even black & white patterned outfit.
Being a duck is an alternate choice.

If I were a queen...
 
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I would get the show on and get paid.

If I was suddenly an infant but with all of the knowledge and memories I have now...
 
If I were suddenly an infant, but with all of the knowledge and memories I have now...
I would be in the same position as elderly residents in a nursing home---with one huge difference:
there would be hope for me to learn to walk and speak and live many years
not in diapers.

If I were going to Scarborough Fair, I'd...
 
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