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I would... If I Were...

I'd ask how they feel about Arthur,
the roundest headed cartoon aardvark
I have ever seen.

edit: 11pm ooops. Arthur is an anteater. Not an aardvark. :oops:

If I were able to leap in 30 foot bounds at a time, I'd...
 
Last edited:
Win many gold medals in the long jump.

If I were addicted to video games...
 
I would be selective in my reading material.

If I were going to Scarborough Fair, I'd...
 
...avoid the herb stalls and go to the beach. The beach at Scarborough is quite nice.

If I were to choose a herb or spice to describe myself...
 
If I had a 24 pack, then i'd be as strong as 4 people with a six pack.

If a had an engine attached to my feet....
 
...we'd be listening to Walk The Dinosaur constantly.

If I were a country star...
 
...even the most diehard country fans would put on their cowboy boots and skedaddle.

If I had a celery farm...
 
I could use 'Celery Stalks At Midnight'
for theme music for my infomercials
touting the benefits of celery juice.

If I were running around barefoot on the ceiling, I'd be...
 
...Lionel Richie without shoes.

If I were less good at math...
 
...be running like hell from whatever comedian is playing Colonel Sanders this week.

If I were an emerald...
 
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