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I would... If I Were...

...I would be too busy with birds to do my job.

If I were a character from Shakespeare...
 
I would do really well on So You Think You Can Dance.

If I were to return to the north...
 
...I would get a busy signal.

If I were able to stand any temperature...
 
If I were a polar bear ... I would have fish for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
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If I were a chipped cup, .... I would ...
 
If I was from Iceland...
...I'd probably be finding our current summer lovely and warm instead of freezing. Brrrrr!

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If I was a brilliant hacker...
 
...I would be coughing constantly.

If I were the new kid in town...
 
I wouldn't know where the Lincoln statue used to be.

If I were the luckiest person in the world........
 
...I would quickly run casinos out of money.

If I were in Margaritaville...
 
...I'd think of increasingly devious ways to get my revenge on anyone who'd ever wronged me. There would definitely be catapults and kippers involved.

If I could shrink to the size of a Borrower...
 
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