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I wish I could have a girlfriend

BradT said:
Well I'm 30 and have aspergers too, but I'm nervous too be around women.
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I have no problems casually talking to women or even having deep conversations with them. I just get anxious when I start wondering if I should ask them for a date. I hate it so much and it makes me not want to socialize some days because I want to avoid burning myself out but at the same time I am worried potential social opportunities are being missed.
 
I have found friendly people among the "weirdos and the misfits" in my new community.

I have found them to be basically nice people who are misunderstood by mainstream society, just like me.

Being alone is not easy. Depression is not easy either. I wish you the very best.
 
As an aspie woman I can say confidently that not every woman wants a typical macho man. Even my NT friends find very different personality types and physical appearances to be attractive. I personally would enjoy a man that was honest about his inexperience. It may be fun to set aside all of the outside expectations for what dating should look like and just figure it out together
 
Markness said:
.. .

Two of my detractors on Wrong Planet have actually told me to seek out sex instead of relationships until I am "fit" to date. I find that advice to be absurd because if you struggle to make basic friendships, how can you expect to "hook up" with anyone?
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Many people who do hookups, especially in the lgbt community, tend to remove as much emotion as possible. So, that's why some people can do hookups. It really depends on your personality though. I don't like this traditional idea of hookups. I think people should be trying to care and treat each other with respect regardless of if they want to just have fun or build to commit.
 
Anya said:
As an aspie woman I can say confidently that not every woman wants a typical macho man. Even my NT friends find very different personality types and physical appearances to be attractive. I personally would enjoy a man that was honest about his inexperience. It may be fun to set aside all of the outside expectations for what dating should look like and just figure it out together
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I just hope there are women in my area who think like you.
 
paloftoon said:
Many people who do hookups, especially in the lgbt community, tend to remove as much emotion as possible. So, that's why some people can do hookups. It really depends on your personality though. I don't like this traditional idea of hookups. I think people should be trying to care and treat each other with respect regardless of if they want to just have fun or build to commit.
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I don't like that idea either. I want to actually know the person first, not "pump and dump" anyone. It might be a romanticized desire but I would want to build up to the situation by getting to know the person and feeling warmth rather than just saying "Hey, baby, let's ----!" because that feels sick to me.
 
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for any aspie like me,giant teddy bears are the closest thing that i’ll always have to a girlfriend,along with a stuffed curious george & a giant stuffed tiger !
 
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I'll tell you what I know about geeky women and how to attract them since I am one.

These are general comments of course ... women are usually attracted to men who look like they can provide. This is a hardwired evolutionary thing. How can you appear like a good provider? Take good care of yourself. That means physically, emotionally, financially. If getting a girlfriend is a priority for you, then you will do this. If keeping the current lifestyle you already have is a priority, then you will not do this. If you think getting the girl is a lot of work wait until you are actually in a relationship ... that's where the real work begins.

You know the saying ... 'Anything worth having is worth working for.'

Also, women have more power in the sexual arena when they are young, but men have more power when they are older. That is because women's attractiveness wanes with age, but men usually have more providing power as they age.
 
I am feeling more and more hopeless everyday. The years always pass with me still being single and I don't feel a step closer to getting out of my rut but my mind also tells me it's impossible for things to ever get better. :(
 
I believe you can find someone.

I am a nerdy girl who married a nerdy guy. We met online in a video game.

Look for girls in the things you already enjoy.
 
Well, unfortunately, a lot of the women in my area do not care for things like anime/manga, comics, video games, science fiction novels, and music that isn't standard pop/pop country/rap. I have talked to women at music shows and anime conventions in Austin but the conversations don't last very long and they don't seem interested in keeping in contact.
 
I feel like I am going from bad to worse. I already feel like the year is going to end with me still single and hopeless about anything ever getting better. :( I can barely get out of bed and after work, I just want to withdraw from any potential social interaction.
 
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