Fabulous post! I agree with much of what you said. The hatred and exclusion within the various factions is very real and saddening. I think, humans are in the animal kingdom, and that kingdom is rife with all forms of sexuality. We are sexual in all ways, and have natural diversities in all ways too.
However, you also left out trans-identified and or gender bending folk, and are the most misunderstood and often excluded by ALL the various groups. We confuse everyone with not only gender, but our looks. I consider myself somewhere in a “middle” and do not accept any labels for myself. The assumptions made by people of any sexual/ all various persuasions can be hilarious, completely ignorant, untrue, and also misguided.
There is no simplicity to any of these topics. I object to the simplistic thinking of only three types of men you put into the last categories. I guess society does not really give any it much thought. How sad. Masculine females are thought to be “dyke” butch lesbians. Lesbians hate all men. Feminine men are assumed to be gay homosexuals. Gay men like to dress in women’s clothing. Strong masculine males are heterosexual. Bisexual males are “turning gay.” All these are often untrue, and often utter nonsense. Not to mention the worst one of all - that gay people are pedophiles. My gosh, we do not go around saying that straight men are all rapists, do we? It’s utter craziness. It’s also crazy that gay men call women “fish.” TheRe is untruths hurled from all sides of these issues.
I have never met a female who was straight that dated other women “to get revenge.” Is this a 21st Century thing? It’s very odd. Would a gay man date a female to get revenge on his former lover? I never saw that. I have many times seen a male “come out” to his wife and family after decades of deception. It usually brings the heartbreaking end of the family. The wife cannot deal with it. Wives also leave sometimes because of the crossdressing issues - of their straight hetero husbands.
Political lesbians were very strong and visible in the 1970s and 80s. I never got along with any females back then, and these older dykes were very off putting and scary serious beings. But I now understand it, after reading Leslie Fienburg’s “Stone Butch Blues” how that all happened and why.
They hated others for identifying as a gay male when they were born female. Called that person a “traitor to sisterhood.” Many gay men could not (can not) accept such a thing either. One is a traitor to the cause if they switch gender, or sexual persuasions, and become something else. Some gays hate FTMs for being born different. (Though now, it’s suddenly fashionable and accepted in some circles!)
Lesbians confused, gays confused, and everyone else clueless. Everyone is judgemental and brutal. Lesbians have usually been way more accepting of FTMS, then gay men have been to feminine MTFs. Women accept MTFS and cross dressers more then the male acceptance of females wanting to live as males. Not all though, as some think the male to female is a sexual predator dressed up to gain the trust of females. Warped, judgemental thinking colors their views.
There is a huge block between acceptances within these niche communities. Many gays abhorr the serious male to female crossdresser, or transsexual. They exclude him/her from their clubs. Called an aborration to the gay community. Some, but not all, want to change the straight male to become gay also. Everything adores the campiness of RuPauls Drag Race, as long as men keep their genitals, no matter how feminine they become.
Off putting too were the various classifications of gay men and how they treated each other. Twinks, Fems, Trannies, .... exclusionary clubs based on just how you looked, walked, and acted. Gay men so masculine they pass as straight. Truckers, cowboys, leather “daddys,” “pups” & “pigs.” Gay men, except when they go home to their wives and children, who live lies as to who they are. But no different really, then the husband who is paying for sex on the way home from work or hanging out at the strip clubs- no?
Everybody falls into different groups and not accepted. Actually beat up for being in the wrong type gay club! Then beat up for being out in the straight world too! Hope it’s all changing and more accepting of diversity these days, but I doubt it.
