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I got banned from a group for using functioning labels

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Ephraim Becker, Feb 13, 2021.

  1. N2k12

    N2k12 Active Member

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    Hahaha
     
  2. Skittlebisquit

    Skittlebisquit "..experience moments of happiness."

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    What you really want is friends in the real world who share interests with you, perhaps cultural things as well. I think we all want that. I dont know how to get it. But i know how to start....
     
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  3. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    While I can understand why some people might object to such a term, it strikes me that their reaction was a knee-jerk one and rather excessive. If they don't want people to use such terms, then they need to clearly state this in the group rules.
     
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  4. WildCat

    WildCat V.I.P Member

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    Things like this make me want to scratch my head and all the layers of skin underneath it right down to the bone.

    If I knew I was going to get banned for something as ridiculous as that, I'd be avoiding whatever group like the plague.
     
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  5. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You could always use the term Aspergers. I know it is gone from DSM V but is still used in ICD 10. So it is quite legitimate to use that word - so long as you are comfortable with it.
     
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  6. Wolfgangus Faldestolius

    Wolfgangus Faldestolius Little notes from an armchair

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    The self-described "less able" people in this forum are among the most interesting to me to relate with - I have a huge amount in common with them. "Highly" functioning (since middle age) in my case is humorous because my "functioning" is rather ha ha altogether!

    Whilst avoiding FB is probably a sound idea (I don't have it), should you find yourself readmitted you could unobtrusively take those of ostensibly different varieties under your wing. We all coached ourselves or got coached and are bowled over by the tricks we have learned and how they might help others too.

    When my workplace coach arranged for me to colour code my work trays & boxes, all colleagues copied me - and THEIR productivity went up even more than mine! Now NTs (hello NTs!) routinely run to me to get tips and hints on this and that.
     
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  7. Wolfgangus Faldestolius

    Wolfgangus Faldestolius Little notes from an armchair

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    On FB (so I'm told), the specific word "friend" has a "special" and strange meaning. Everyone here though, are friends to me even though they didn't happen to "follow" my profile or if I forget to give them spanners / nibs / rainbows / medals etc.
     
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  8. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    It's Facebook. OF COURSE it's like this.

    Look, part of the whole freaking point of social media... even if a lot of people wont admit it... is to get on there, find something/someone you can look down on, and then shout about it so that you can feel superior to whatever/whoever it is you're shouting at. More specifically, to feel superior IN FRONT OF OTHERS, so that they too will think you are superior (insert facepalm here). And so, that's exactly what a lot of people do, and the true reason why many use it. As such, Facebook is *extremely* toxic. That sort of behavior pervades pretty much the whole thing, because it IS the whole thing. A place to show off, put others down, or both at once.

    So no, it's not fair that happened to you... but it is NOT unexpected. Instead, it's freaking Facebook: that's what happens on there all the bloody time.

    While it may not have been fair... it may have been a stroke of good luck. Now you can go find a non-Facebook group or site that doesnt blow goat chunks. I have no idea what that even means, I keep saying it whenever I find something worthy of it, and Facebook groups fit the bill.

    Best advice: Dump Facebook. And any other form of social media. It's toxic, and it sure as heck aint doing you any good. And before you say "but I gotta keep in touch with so-and-so", let me present to you this revolutionary idea: phones are a thing you can use. It turns out phones can do things that arent just Facebook... who knew? Keep in touch with people through actual phone calls, or normal, direct text messages.
     
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  9. Wolfgangus Faldestolius

    Wolfgangus Faldestolius Little notes from an armchair

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    The self-described "less able" people in this forum are among the most interesting to me to relate with - I have a huge amount in common with them. "Highly" functioning (since middle age) in my case is humorous because my "functioning" is rather ha ha altogether!

    Whilst avoiding FB is probably a sound idea (I don't have it), should you find yourself readmitted you could unobtrusively take those of ostensibly different varieties under your wing. We all coached ourselves or got coached and are bowled over by the tricks we have learned and how they might help others too.

    When my workplace coach arranged for me to colour code my work trays & boxes, all colleagues copied me - and THEIR productivity went up even more than mine! Now NTs (hello NTs!) routinely run to me to get tips and hints on this and that.
     
  10. WildCat

    WildCat V.I.P Member

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    In this case? No. You dodged a bullet. In other words, you avoided a troublesome situation.
     
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  11. Ephraim Becker

    Ephraim Becker Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    What do you mean?
     
  12. WildCat

    WildCat V.I.P Member

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    It wasn't fair that you got banned and I think you just avoided a bunch of jerks. That's my opinion on this, given that you were called "super ableist" and that you probably weren't at least warned beforehand not to use a certain term.

    I find it all pretty silly if you're asking me, but people on the spectrum aren't exactly known for having great communication skills. If you have to, find another group that isn't as uptight as these people are.
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2021
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  13. Ephraim Becker

    Ephraim Becker Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It was mentioned in the rules not to use functioning labels but I didn’t realize it would be that strict.
     
  14. WildCat

    WildCat V.I.P Member

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    Yep, that's what I figured would be the case, that it was against their rules, but you didn't mention that at all until now. Just find another group and don't worry about it too much.
     
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  15. SDRSpark

    SDRSpark Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    This. I've seen a fair bit of infighting about the Asperger's label too. I think it's really unfortunate, and I stay away from the most problematic groups. (In the case of the Asperger's label, I agree that changing it is probably a good thing, but I don't think it's acceptable to tell others that they cannot use the term written on their diagnostic paperwork to refer to themselves; let's not forget, also, that in countries that use ICD-10, Asperger's is still a current diagnosis.)

    Some of the Autistic groups and pages I've seen on Facebook are what I would describe as 'militant' in their desire to stamp out anything they see as harmful (seemingly ignorant of the harm that their own behavior is causing). I stay away from those pages and groups. There are a few good ones. It doesn't take long to figure out, usually - if I see members of a group attacking other autistic people over terminology, I stay well away.
     
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  16. paloftoon

    paloftoon Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I'm sorry you experienced this Ephraim. Unless you've had multiple issues with the group, it's apparent that what you did was not on purpose. An apology could've been issued in a post and the post taken down and then everyone moves on.

    I could see a problem with expressing what you said in a post.
    "high functioning" could be a positive thing, but could be negative too because it sounds like a caste system is being implied. Even though the reality is that that is probably true, we want to take steps to make people feel inclusive so we try to avoid causing that kind of environment to begin with. Did you also say "Jewish" in your actual FB post as you mentioned on here later on?
    That can lead to race or "race" issues too.

    Once you post, those words are on an online forum "permanently".

    People are human too. So, maybe enough people didn't like you in the group that they find this slight to bounce off of.
     
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  17. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Seems to me that most any online group that functions more as a clique is likely to be anything but "fair" at times, whether Neurotypical or Neurodiverse.

    Personally in matters of communication, I'm more concerned about using terms that can be understood by the broadest number of people if and when possible. Then on a more secondary basis I may or may not take into consideration ramifications of the political correctness and the ambiguity of various terms.

    However if and when you run into a militant group of people who default to political correctness, as an outsider that's probably your queue to just leave and seek conversation elsewhere before they give you the boot. Consider it a learning experience. One where fairness is not very high on their agenda.

    I'm not too keen on some words like "functioning", or even "disorder". Mostly because they are ambiguous. Yet in most instances when people use them I understand where they are coming from. I may not like such words used too broadly depending on the context used, but not enough to expel anyone from a forum.
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2021
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  18. Neonatal RRT

    Neonatal RRT Well-Known Member

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    I quit that Facebook group on my own. There is a handful of overly sensitive, "social justice warriors" in that group,...and I am not convinced they are actually autistic. A bit too much "touchy, feely, emotional" BS, that,...seriously,...if you are one with a low sense of cognitive empathy (autism 101),...then you would generally expect all sorts of "social faux pas". It's real easy to get "ganged up on" and bullied in that group,...a bit hypocritical.
     
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  19. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Ridiculous reason to be banned and feel for you.

    I have no issue with high functioning autism, because I know what it means. I do not have autism; but am on the spectrum, thus am high functioning.

    Personally if you are banned for such an inane reason, then it is not worth being on there at all.
     
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  20. Ephraim Becker

    Ephraim Becker Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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