I cried the first time in school today

[Annaa]

Today we had a project day, I chose Volleyball because I used to play volleyball for a year, it was beach volleyball though so there were different rules but I didn’t mind it that much, the project went for two days Thursday and Friday, I played bad, I don’t want to be mean but I also was in a team with a girl who had no idea how to play and didn’t care about the game, to her defense I was just as bad if not worse ‍.

Well I felt really bad about it, because I was really happy to play matches and I thought I could do better, but no I couldn’t, then I was just kind of practicing while the others were having there matches to understand why I messed up so badly but than what really got me was when my friend came and was able to socialize and talk to the others so well without any struggles, that kind of got me.

After that I went to the bathroom because I was annoyed.
So I went into a bathroom stall obviously and I locked the door obviously, I have to say I reallylove the word obviously it’s really just so great I’ll have to write an essay about that word it speaks so many chapters.

Anyways, I NEVER cry in school because I just don’t have a reason to, but the tears kind of just came, well not really I had to listen to sad music first just for the vibes you know (jk(just kidding)).
But well anyways I felt like a real failure I was really mad at myself for being who I am for not being able to talk to people, failing eight grade, not being able to do anything, being incompetent and all the normal stuff (jk).
No but fr I’m serious the jk is about me calling it normal stuff just in case you don’t get it, yea but no it was really sad I think I hated myself a lot in that moment

-You can stop reading here that’s all, but if you want to know what happened after you can keep reading.

I cried for like 9 minutes but I stopped cause I knew I had to go back and not look like I just cried, luckily I was smart enough to stop, because it wasn’t visible at all i came back after like 20 minutes just told them that I watched a show and forgot the time, then they ate ice cream wich I didn’t take one because I didnt deserve one (jk I’m lactose intolerant) and then I sat in the sun because I felt like getting skincancer (jk)

 

[Tom]

I wanted to give you a 'funny' emoji. Not because the situation was funny, but you very very humorous about it.

 

[Rodafina]

I was really mad at myself for being who I am

Nooo!!!! I totally understand, but if you can, try to be have compassion for that person that you are.

It sounds so exhausting having all those emotions, all that frustration, trying to control all the emotions, and then having to package it all up and return to whatever you were doing with a smile. You have strength in you! You are a warrior. I’m sorry you kind of had a rotten day.

 

[Forest Cat]

Don't feel bad about the volleyball, I have some experience with sports and competing and some days things just won't go right no matter how hard you try. But then it goes better later. The important thing is to not give up, don't let the bad days stop you.

 

[Kelsay]

I get that. I have bawled after coming from work not because of the work itself (though, sometimes yes, I'm a nurse's aide) but just because new people would come in and they would get along so much better with people that I had worked with for years, at least so it seemed to me. They got the 'vibe' of the people I was around in one week where it took me months, and even still I felt shut out. I felt like there was a wall or a barrier between myself and the others that I would never be able to overcome - like I would always be stuck alone on this side.
I still feel like that sometimes, but I'm learning to accept that I am different, and that it is okay to treat myself as such. Also I have learned that I can talk to some people - just not everyone, and that is okay. Everyone is different, even if we all try to act the same. The problem is, acting the same when we're not is an added stress for the neurodivergent, and one that, in the end, we suffer a lot from. It's okay to be different, and I appreciate your sense of humor!

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I will raise you for crying in front of my site's production manager. I was so frustrated by the treatment of the project by personell that should be doing their best for manufacturing that I broke down. But, this is the man who called me to listen when his mother was declining towards death. I said the right words, I knew he liked me because I was honest, so I prepared him for the inevitable and to cherish lucid moments. I remembered that when I granted my mother her one desire, to die at home (with hospice). So, do you think I'm channeling my feminine side?

 

[Thinx]

That's a great post, @Gerald Wilgus, but no, you aren't channelling femininity when you cry. That's just a popular myth. Men are taught to suppress emotions, women are taught to express them. Boo hoo. I guess it's a power related thing.

To the OP, sorry that happened, I was keen on netball at school at first but I couldn't seem to get good at it. I'm clumsy and dyspraxic even maybe. Volleyball could be different for you though, if you practice hard, even alone may work? Or another sport. I found sports I could do alone the best. Like swimming or trampolining although we had others around the trampoline, safety wise and as it was a class I took. Or cycling wow that's a developing sport, watch the women's Jour de France next week!

 

[Slim Jim]

I cried the very FIRST day of school. But then I quickly made 2 friends. I was maybe 5(?) yrs old.

Me, being told I have to start school:

I don't think I ever cried again In school after that. Maybe when a teacher just eviscerated me one time. It's all a bit sketchy...