Others define us, but we don't define ourselves because we don't label ourselves, just each other?
So whatever label I am given by others is the one which I will believe, and whatever label I give others is the one which they will believe? But, I can't label myself? I am utterly defined by what others say about me?
What I have been trying, clumsily, to say is:
We shorthand things, to remember them.
The shorthand never gives the full picture.
Only a generalized one.
Over time, we remember the shorthand, but unless we look deeper, the nuances and peculiarities are lost to us.
When we relate it to others, we use the shorthand, and reduce our description.
This creates confusion and ambiguity.
"Negative Nancy agreed to lunch?
With Biff?
I
never would have thought..."
Words create expectations.
Some of the most brash, brusque, insensitive, shock-value loving people I have ever met frequently say of themselves:
"I calls 'em like I sees 'em!"
---
The more strongly that we identify with a word, the more strongly we will
attempt to identify with that word or words.
Admittedly, this tendency, or lack thereof, is linked to a person's constitution.
I have witnessed transformations in people that induce fear, in me.
"I hate __________s!
I'll kill him(sic) if I meet one!"
The person recieved "favorable" response(s) from the bold, firmly stated position.
They continued to repeat it, for just this reason.
They continue to repeat it to cement the "favorable" response to their persona.
Eventually, they meet a ___________.
They are immediately in a cage created by their words.
This otherwise passive, non-aggressive person--- will now do violence--- because he
promised to.
Annnndd...
Often, those that encouraged the proclamations--- will condone the action, creating a feedback loop.
We can trap ourselves, by our words, akin to nets.
---
Thats not to say that Fridge isn't right.
We most certainly
can benefit from labels, as well.
The trick is to know what we seek to gain by the label, and careful application.
The trick is also to know when to move on from the label, when we have grown beyond it.
If I am not, and wish to be kind, I can repeat: "I am kind.", or, "I will be kind.", prior to any thought, speech, or action, and it will serve as a reminder of the way that I wish to be, goading, guiding me to that reality.
An extension of
"If you want to be it, act it."
"If you want to act it, say it."
---
Words are important.
They should be used specifically and carefully and guardedly;
they can have power, both for the unwary, or for the adept.
As always, intent is everything.