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I am really struggling...

Discussion in 'Education and Employment' started by The Great Timsby, Apr 12, 2021.

  1. The Great Timsby

    The Great Timsby Active Member

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    Hi. My name is Timothy, I am 21 years old with Asperger's and ADHD. I'll try to cut straight to the chase. I can't make myself go to work most days. I Hate most jobs I've had. The job I'm working now should be good and i like the people I work with, yet I still can't make myself go to work most days.

    When I'm at work I Feel trapped and it feels like time just drags by, and its all i can do to stop from just running out. I've been doing some research and have found that this is not uncommon for people with Asperger's which really helped me, knowing that I'm not some lazy useless freak. However, my parents are running out of patience and the people around me do not understand really why or how I'm struggling and I can't explain it any better than I am here.

    I have been searching for quite some time to try and find a program or group in my area that helps with this, like an AS support group or a work training program. The problem is I live in Wyoming, we have a total of 2 escalators in the entire state, and the deer outnumber the people. What I'm getting at is that there really isn't any support out here. I feel as if I'm flailing around and never gonna be able to have a family like i want, and my parents are getting increasingly upset, as i have bills to pay, and can't even make myself work for those. Here in Cheyenne, Wyoming, I cant find any help or anyone I relate to who can really understand and guide me and help me find the resources and interests I have.

    Everything I have tried has pretty much ended in failure and because of this, my motivation levels don't even exist anymore. If anyone can help or offer advice or something I would really appreciate it. I have really no direction or motivation in life right now and its causing a lot of problems. I barely worked enough last week to pay for a new therapy session, however, as this job begins to follow the same course as the other ones, I soon wont have enough money to pay for help. This is really stressful and ever since I graduated high school, I feel like a was launched into a brand new universe.

    I already struggle with depression and anxiety in high school, but know I feel as if I'm constantly letting my family down, by not working or struggling with going. Which just causes more depression and anxiety that they will be mad or upset. I want to be better but I don't know how or why. It's not that I do not have any goals, I just can't seem to be good enough to reach them or find a reason to work for them.

    If you have any thoughts or help or ideas, or resources, please please please share them.
     
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  2. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    do a science degree? get a formal qualification...you mention an interest in cars in you intro thread. I recently had to use an NT mechanic to service my car/and provide me with a roadworthy certificate (due to interstate move, licence plates stuff), it was really creepy (a bored married NT he offered me a job with strings attached (I'm a woman) and overpriced, ugh. We are a consumer base and we need qualified professionals.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2021
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  3. The Great Timsby

    The Great Timsby Active Member

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    Why? like I'm Generally curious as to why you feel like that a good idea? Ive never real had much interest in science, i find having to write and rewrite everything so that simple people can understand it makes me frustrated and is kinda pointless. i do like experimenting tho. sorry if i sound rude.
     
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  4. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    oh i hadn't read your into post, so I edited after reading it. No you dont come off rude.
     
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  5. The Great Timsby

    The Great Timsby Active Member

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    what is NT?
     
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  6. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    neurotypical, ie 'allegedly normal'.
     
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  7. The Great Timsby

    The Great Timsby Active Member

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    youre story makes so much more sense now! Isn't saying that in order to be employed you have to do "favors" illegal?
     
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  8. FIVER

    FIVER Well-Known Member

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    I know what you are talking about. About 2 years at a job would be all I could take. I'm sorry about your parents not understanding. Just realize that they want you to have a good life and are probably out of ideas of how to help you, hence frustration, which doesn't help you. The depression is probably causing a big drag on you as well.
    Did you know that transitions are the most stressful times in a person's life?
    Transitioning from high school is a big deal. I was so afraid about what to do. My father made me get a job instead of going to college. I was community College level since my grades were not great. I was depressed working...the story goes on....
    I was wondering if you ever considered exploring on the internet of things you might be interested in. Sometimes special interests can be turned into a career. I'm guessing you might be the creative type?
    I'm a big fan of taking free online assessments. For instance Myers briggs, enneagram, value judgement testing, emotional intelligence testing. They don't give you a specific answer, but they guide you.
    Feel free to private message me if you want to discuss further.
    Food for thought...sometimes you can stick out a crappy job for a while if you know there is a plan of escape. The universe has something planned for you! I just know it!
     
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  9. The Great Timsby

    The Great Timsby Active Member

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    Like i have a good job now but i don't want to go, I should love it, its super easy and the pay is great and the people are nice, and they have been very accomidating to my issues, but i dread work.
     
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  10. FIVER

    FIVER Well-Known Member

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    You are not fulfilled. That is why.
     
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  11. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝️

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  12. FIVER

    FIVER Well-Known Member

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  13. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

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    If your regular shift is full days have you considered changing that to split shifts or even go down to part time, to see if that may help?
     
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  14. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    Your first step is to work on the depression. That's going to take assessment, therapy, maybe a change in environment, and maybe pharmaceuticals. If you don't work on the depression nothing else you try will matter.
     
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  15. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Small business owner no witnesses, they'll try anything on if they think they can get away with it, you almost need a witness with you everywhere you go in life. I had little choice for that work, they have to be a certified inspection place, not just a general mechanic. but for general car stuff, I'll be going elsewhere.
     
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  16. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Definitely agree with the transitions and depression.
    I'm retired, so I don't have to think about work anymore.
    I didn't mind work when I was younger and living the life I wanted.
    Now that I have no family left, the change from that to trying to survive, finding a place to live,
    have to live with someone to be able to afford rent, it's left me feeling totally alone in the world.
    Now I'm facing surgeries for the first time in my life without anyone for support.

    This has all had an affect on my health both emotionally and physically.
    Most days I just have to force myself to get up and keep going.
    I know how I would feel if I still had to work.
    Work on the depression and/or anxiety. If you can help yourself with this, you might
    find your motivation levels will come back.

    I found part time jobs were the best when I first started with employment.
     
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  17. Yeshuasdaughter

    Yeshuasdaughter Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    If you're in the USA, apply for SSI. It will help you in so many ways.
     
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  18. _eri_bellehumeur

    _eri_bellehumeur Active Member

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    I've had this same problem for many many years. Working a job has always drained me, made me feel so depressed and like I was just wasting my life dragging a corpse around and being forced to have really fake interactions with people. Going to university full-time was the best decision I've made. I took the first year and a half to take any class that really spoke to me so i could figure out what i wanted to focus my education on. It really helped me get out of a very deep depression. my only advice is if you are dependent on student loans like I am, keep classes to the minimum requirements, at least for the first year, so you don't get overwhelmed.
     
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  19. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Self employment is pretty standard career advice for people with ASD, I loathe having much to do with people cos I get sick of the differences being noted and judged.
     
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  20. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    I learned when I moved out at a young age that If I didn't take care of myself nobody would. I worked a lot of crappy jobs and suffered through a lot of stuff. That's part of life and the society we live in now.

    I know all about depression, I suffer from major depression and I've found that the only way (for me) is to push through it, keep on moving and don't expect any miracles. There is no magical pill. Life was meant to be a struggle in order for our species to survive. Sucks, but that's life.
     
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