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Featured How to handle therapy

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by ghostie, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. ghostie

    ghostie Active Member

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    Hello everyone.

    Last time I was at my therapist she said something about how at the last session she felt like I was ignoring or discounting everything she said but then she said don't worry, it's not like I take offense to that.

    But honestly, I felt like since the first day there were a lot of things I said that she brushed off or discounted, I have a few things about me that probably aren't "typical autism" that made my diagnosis take a little bit longer maybe, but some of those things she just brushes off and dismisses like she must think I made it up or something.

    One thing in particular is a condition I suffer from (note the use of the word suffer, for me it is debilitating and extremely distressing) and she just ignores the fact that this condition bothers me and laughs and talks about how "interesting" it is.

    The more I think about it, the more angry I get. Like, I'm there for therapy, she ignores and dismisses my concerns and then complains that I was dismissing her ideas (which weren't the ideas I needed to hear at the time, and after all, who is paying for the session?)

    How can I go back? I can't communicate any of this verbally without getting upset, so I guess I would only be able to communicate this through text which means I either send an email before I go and probably don't go, or just don't say anything like usual and just be mad inside.

    But at the same time, I'm not fully finished learning how to deal with autism, I was only diagnosed about a month ago and still need support.
     
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  2. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    Write out your concerns in a diplomatic (polite) fashion, but not exceeding one page, and take that to your next therapy session. Hand it to her at the beginning.
     
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  3. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    Great idea. And if she doesn't acknowledge your concerns and provide a reasonable explanation/response, find a new therapist. Not everyone finds the right match the first time.
     
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  4. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member

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    With great difficulties and I have had to resign myself to just going along with what my therapist says, because in truth, it is too much of a headache to argue the point.

    He insists that I suffer depression and it just so happened, that I have been depressed recently, so instead of seeing it for what it is: recent; he says that at last it is nice to see me not denying I suffer depression. Which is really aggrivating and what is even worse, is that I am better therapist than he is!!!!!
     
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  5. Trophonius

    Trophonius Active Member

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    I would stop therapy with her.
    You can talk about these concerns with her, but if it were me I would attempt to find a therapist with whom I feel comfortable, rather than find ways to feel comfortable with a therapist.

    The relationship therapist-patient is complex, and like a lock-key relationship, not any key can open the "lock" of our minds. Sometimes people need to "shop around" to find a therapist they can work with.

    I also think it's important to keep in mind that the therapist-patient relationship is first and foremost, a business relationship. We pay money in exchange for a service; if we don't like the service provided, we can simply stop using it.
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2019
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  6. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member

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    If you feel that this therapist isent working for you . look for another . its VITAL that you both feel a confidence to eatchoder in this matters . if not nothing will be achive other then said therapist getting more money in her /his pocket .
     
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  7. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    On the spectrum, we can get caught up in relationship nuances when it's just get up and take your money elsewhere . She doesn't seem to be motivated to listen to your concerns, acknowledge them and move forward. In this case, do you really want to confront her about outright avoidance of your remarks? If not, find a new therapist. You are under no obligation to continue seeing her.

    I feel listened to by my current therapist. We have a back and forth re: communication so that helps me feel like an adult, l don't feel chastised thinking and sharing my thought process, but she is skilled in abusive relationships so l won the lottery here.
     
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  8. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

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    I've been lucky to not need therapy. Still if you're not satisfied with your current level of therapy I'd find another therapist.
     
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  9. Intensate

    Intensate New Member

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    Its important that any therapy the person doing it has an understanding of autism,if they don't they can cause more damage. ie they trying to change what can't be changed
     
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  10. Not even human

    Not even human New Member

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    A therapist told me I was autistic a few years ago, and since then I've honestly been afraid if therapists and won't see one. If someone told me they are a mental health professional I'd start sweating and need to get away from them

    I'm terrified of shrinks. I'm afraid one will call me autistic.
     
  11. Not even human

    Not even human New Member

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    I think there is some choice involved in being diagnosed with autism, because all medical things involve consent.

    I've considered seeing a mental health person to try to help me with my extreme levels of self hatred and my inability to break the cycle of self harm and substance abuse.

    There would be a condition: they must never ever say I am on the autism spectrum or even elude to it. I've been told they'd accommodate this if I made it clear to them that being called autistic is a major trigger of self harm and being called it could cause me to hurt myself.

    But I still worry that they will be thinking it of me.

    I'm deeply afraid of this. It's a pervasive and almost obsessive fear of mine.

    This is why I fear therapists. They're the most likely to see me as being autistic. If they do, I won't be able to live with that.
     
  12. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    its just a name ,its just a greek word ,it doesnt mean death ,its not terminal ,you are !what you have always !been (therapists use it to base a therapy on !as they could be negligent if you werent given accurate therapy) ,its a name to tell people who are responsible ,not the self centred ,they care for no one! I mean no one!,go to a psychologist (talk therapy is better than drugs hands down imo) ,counsellor or nurse,join the female Autism online community .I was more worried theyd say i wasnt autistic so id have to start all over again
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2019
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  13. Not even human

    Not even human New Member

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    If I put self diagnosed then that's a mistake. A therapist told me k was definitely on the spectrum 6 years ago. I went to them because my doctor recommended it to help deal with a lot of anxiety that I had over some workplace stuff. In retrospect, what I dealt with at work was not even that bad. I could have gotten by. I was just I. A high anxiety situation.

    It did change everything.
     
  14. the_tortoise

    the_tortoise Lost Soul V.I.P Member

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    I would just walk away from any therapist who didn’t listen and treat me with respect. Just stop seeing them, no explanation required.

    You don’t owe them anything.
     
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  15. Not even human

    Not even human New Member

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    No. The thing is I definitely have some personality traits that are associated with ASD.

    It would not have been 40 years ago, but now it is. I'm totally within a broad definition of the autistic spectrum. That's why I hate myself.
     
  16. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    A Therapist !specialising in phobias ,would ask what were you looking at ,smelling or hearing , or a mixture of all of them ,at the time when you heard the word autistic ,autism ,the theory with a phobia is whatever you associate with that word is why you are phobic for instance ,The therapist would think I am phobic because I was kicked by a horse ,when I was standing in a field and then developed hay fever, The hayfever stemmed from the fact that I associated grass with trauma.
     
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  17. RtWalton

    RtWalton Chief Financial Philosopher of Kadath

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    I have been going through therapy for about 8 years now, and this type of interaction is hardly uncommon. Keep in mind that most therapists without specific focuses are used to people with emotional problems related to (Nonpsychotic) depression and anxiety based symptoms, which are phenomena related to mental disorders which by themselves indicate disruptive thoughts but not necessarily an underlying atypicality with the development of thoughts. Those with mental disorders that change how a person fundamentally understands the world and gains knowledge though (such as those suffering from Delirium, Psychotic Symptoms or Nuerodevelopmental Disorders) are outside of many therapists’ area of expertise. From what I have observed, most therapists do not know how to deal with someone who learns in a fundamentally different way than they do, which only makes sense. I would advise that next time you seek out a therapist who specializes in Neurodevelopmental Disorders, because those therapists who do not may react in a similarly poor manner as this one has.