How to get Support from Family Members about Pursuing a Diagnosis?

[catdog55616]

I'd like to start by saying that about a year ago, I approached my mom about how I suspected I had Asperger's. I went through a list of observations I'd made about myself to my mom, asked questions about my earlier years, and she, for the most part, wholeheartedly agreed. When the both of us approached my dad about it, we were met with anger and ableism, to say the least. After that, the matter was dropped entirely. Recently, I'd noticed that I've been struggling a bit more with sensory issues and social communications. Because of this, I've really wanted to pursue a diagnosis of any sort. Any tips and such for bringing up the topic to either parent?

 

[Gritches]

People are generally loyal to their prejudices first and foremost, so you're not likely to win your father's approval. At least you have your mom in your corner though; circumstances might prevent this, but if I were in your position I'd just see if your mom would help you pursue a diagnosis and keep your father on a need-to-know basis.

 

[pamelaperejil]

When the both of us approached my dad about it, we were met with anger and ableism, to say the least. After that, the matter was dropped entirely.

I'm sorry to hear that.

It sounds like the simplest answer may be to seek support from your mother and try leaving your dad out of it. I don't know your relationship with either parent or why your dad is acting this way. Unfortunately you can't force him to give you support, and if he's closed minded and unsupportive in general it might be wise to sort of write him off in this regard.

If you have a strong relationship with him, and you think your father is capable of changing his attitude, then the way to go about gaining his support and acceptance depends on his temperament (what "works" to persuade him) and on why he's not offering that support to begin with. Points we can't really advise you on without more information.

 

[Graphin]

I am stuck on a waiting list right now. My situation is similar.
I kinda made my teacher bug my parents to get a psychologist.

 

[Streetwise]

I'd like to start by saying that about a year ago, I approached my mom about how I suspected I had Asperger's. I went through a list of observations I'd made about myself to my mom, asked questions about my earlier years, and she, for the most part, wholeheartedly agreed. When the both of us approached my dad about it, we were met with anger and ableism, to say the least. After that, the matter was dropped entirely. Recently, I'd noticed that I've been struggling a bit more with sensory issues and social communications. Because of this, I've really wanted to pursue a diagnosis of any sort. Any tips and such for bringing up the topic to either parent?

Does your father have any respect for psychiatry ?if not it's going to be hard .
Write up a list of pros and cons (that is to say what your life will be like without it and with it-diagnosis ), if your father has a very strong work ethic ?!he would probably prefer you attained the best career possible, receiving a diagnosis may make him think that you will attain a good career.
Try speaking to other family members ,I got support from an unexpected family member ,the rest of my family are neuro diverse so too self-centred.
If you get therapy for anything else tell the therapist-(try contacting the autism Society in your area )about the problem you have with your father .

 

[Bolletje]

If at all possible, just leave your dad out of it for now. He's obviously not ready to deal with it at the moment, but you are.
I was in a similar situation where my dad did not want me to seek therapy (this was before I was diagnosed) because he felt like I was just looking for excuses for not finishing my degree at university. In his own way, he didn't mean this as harsh as it sounds. He just preferred the idea of me being lazy - which is easily fixed - to the idea of something actually being wrong with me - not as easily fixed.
Of course his dismissal hurt. A lot. We had a big falling out. I went ahead with therapy anyway, without informing him. We lost touch for a time. After I had gotten back on my feet I gradually got back in touch with him. I never straight up told him I'm on the spectrum, although I'm fairly sure he knows because I'm very open about it with everyone else. We've got a good relationship now, but we're not as close as I'd like. My mom wasn't a fan of me looking for therapy either, but at least she wanted to keep in touch with me and she kept an open mind when I was being assessed for ASD. As a result, we're a lot closer.