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How to develop self discipline when on the spectrum?

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by KagamineLen, May 28, 2021.

  1. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Video game and movie addict.

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    I am incredibly impulsive and I am also extremely prone to engage in addictive and unhealthy behaviors. I need to figure out a way to develop some self discipline while being my own parent, but I do not want to be too harsh on myself and I do not want to be too lenient on myself, and I can see myself doing both of those things at the same time oddly enough.

    I want to curb some of my addictive habits and behaviors, and I want to work on building myself up to having a healthier body and a healthier mind. I am lacking the self discipline it takes to seek out anything outside of immediate gratification these days, and it will be the end of me if I allow it to be.
     
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  2. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    Learn to meditate, and do it often and regularly. It clears your mind and then it is easier to re-focus yourself.
     
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  3. Finder

    Finder Active Member

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    Use your behavior in a positive way. Find positive activities and such to become addicted to. Also, find substitutes for when you start reengaging in those negative behaviors.
     
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  4. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

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    Stick to the motto no I won't.
     
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  5. Amy Stone

    Amy Stone Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I struggle with motivation and require completion of goals in order to feel satisfied. When a task has no end goal (such as fitness), that is when I really struggle. I need to see progress and milestones. What helps me is breaking down bigger tasks into mini goals. So if it is cleaning the house, I may just write "dust shelf" as one item on my list. It makes things much more manageable. Another "trick" is rewards. If I have to read a chapter, I will set aside 30 minutes to read then allow myself 30 minutes to do a hobby. Then I do another 30 minutes of reading. This can be a bit trickier if you have trouble switching gears (as I sometimes do). Another reward is food. Yes. Food. If I get an "A" on an exam or get all my tasks done, I allow myself a special treat. I'm 44yo and I am still motivated by treats
     
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  6. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Dsw
    This is an interesting concept. The younger generations are being trained with instant gratification via smart phones. You need a date, then just swipe, you need something quckly, Amazon delivers, hungering for Chinese, grubhub delivers.

    But back to your post, you need instant recognition , so breaking things down into short steps makes perfect sense. I like the reward idea also. Go to the dentist, okay - reward time, IRS office, okay- big reward. My IRS office has a giant woman security guard who looks like she will pin me down in a lockhold if l look twice at her.
     
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  7. Amy Stone

    Amy Stone Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    @Aspychata As someone with both Asperger's and ADHD, I find little goals and rewards an effective way of coping (rather than just "instant gratification"). They have been very successful tactics for me personally.
     
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  8. OkRad

    OkRad μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην V.I.P Member

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    100% neuroscience.
     
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  9. watersprite

    watersprite inadvertent vagabond V.I.P Member

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    Meaning?
     
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  10. watersprite

    watersprite inadvertent vagabond V.I.P Member

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    I’m only beginning to get a clue on this.

    Good thead; glad you started it.

    One of the obstacles to curbing my impulsiveness and scattered passionate interests is a lack of belief in myself. (This also makes me really vulnerable to suggestions from other people).

    As soon as I honestly and privately acknowledge that life is passing by, (waving at me sometimes frantically) usually something “clicks.”

    There really isn’t all that much time available in a human life. I may as well do something, as small & attainable as possible. Tomorrow I can wake up and think, first thing, “cool.” It makes a world of difference.

    I no longer care how humble what I do may seem, how I come across, what my family used to think, blah blah blah.

    Don’t let anybody drag down your ideas about what you want to do.

    Today for me it was a walk which my watch told me was 8,500 steps. :)
     
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  11. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Maybe you are using these behaviours to cope with not having enough purpose/meaningful engagement with life. Is your work satisfying? Maybe consider voluntary roles where you can make a difference? Get involved with a community project? Build a garden? Build a community garden? Start training for half marathons? It does seem like your interests all relate to fast rewards, try slowing down, meditative walks, visit gardens or nature parks, row on a lake, go on a retreat, learn pottery making or another craft, become a quaker, or whatever suits you.
     
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  12. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Video game and movie addict.

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    I am not having enough of a life to be content with what I have now. Too many people ditched me on my 40th birthday party. Everybody who said they were going to attend. All ditched at the last second. I still resent that. I know this is childish, but that very much hurt me. I want to move past this stage. I am very much drunk now. That should say something.
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2021
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  13. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I used to have similar problems. I led a life of random destruction and little sobriety!
     
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  14. BoltzmannBrain17

    BoltzmannBrain17 Member

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    Developing a routine has helped me a lot. Getting superstitious about it helps with not breaking the routine. Your not going to break the routine if you connect breaking the routine with something really negative. I've managed to thoroughly convince myself that if I break my routine a giant anvil is going to drop from the sky and crush me.
     
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  15. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Thanks for correcting me. I started using rewards when l was triggered from doing things, l had to find a way to get past my triggers.
     
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  16. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Did you try buying cheap booze you don't really like and just tipping it down the sink if it's too tempting, like box wine or something? I don't keep it in the house unless I'm having a drinking phase. Tipping it down the sink, when it's over is quite satisfying. A fitting end.
     
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  17. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    Hey. I drink box wine. Don't diss box wine!
     
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  18. coldfish

    coldfish Member

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    It doesn't even need to be a real 'reward'. I have a calendar on my wall that I affix gold stars to if I manage to do something that needed to be done, but I didn't want to do (like exercise). Sounds daft, but it's surprisingly powerful motivation and how much inertia you can overcome so as to not break a continuous run of gold stars!
     
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  19. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    For some things, l am compelled to do them. Like l love my time at the gym and l know my day will be so much smoother if l go. So the award is the aftermath. But recently, l had to get a car part which meant entering into car geek world, something that l truly hate. I was jerked around but my hostage status was finally released. Lol. Old ladies in car part stores is a tough number.
     
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  20. OkRad

    OkRad μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην V.I.P Member

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