How lonely and alone are you?

[Cyanide Lollipop]

I've discovered that the loneliest place to be is in an unhappy marriage. Since ending it 8 years ago I haven't been lonely, probably because that feeling of being trapped is no longer there and I can now see who I want, when I want.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I've discovered that the loneliest place to be is in an unhappy marriage. Since ending it 8 years ago I haven't been lonely, probably because that feeling of being trapped is no longer there and I can now see who I want, when I want.

Perhaps the real reason I do not have a romantic relationship and have few (1) friends is that I sense that most of the persons with whom those two things might be a possibility are persons with whom I would feel only loneliness and exhaustion.

 

[Mellotron]

I am alone a good deal of time now with no job. But I don't feel lonely about it. When I'm alone I feel like there are so many things I could do with my time that I don't need company. The only person I spend time with really is my girlfriend and its always fun to do things together with her. But if she isn't home I wouldn't say I'm lonely.

 

[Aalo]

[...] I wind up having nothing better to do during lunch than talk with the staff members, who are at least willing to feign interest, if they're not actually interested.

I always enjoyed spending any playtime with janitor if I didn't have my own interesting collections going on at the back forest of our school. Too bad that at this age not even maintenance staff wants to spend any time with me. :>

 

[pacman]

This describes me pretty well:

 

[nowwhat]

I've discovered that the loneliest place to be is in an unhappy marriage. Since ending it 8 years ago I haven't been lonely, probably because that feeling of being trapped is no longer there and I can now see who I want, when I want.

Bullseye, and owch, BTW. Trapped is the word of the day. Such things are never simple, and I'd be choosing consequences not just for me, but others who are blameless in all of this. Not willing to wear that, no. So, it's to Coping and Mitigation, window 3. Besides, Earth's full of people who would trade places with me in an instant, innit?

Thanks for putting your finger on it, tho. That's why I post my crap here.

 

[nowwhat]

This describes me pretty well:

View attachment 5351

BWAHAHAHAHAH! I'll armwrestle you for claim on the cartoon.

 

[nowwhat]

I always enjoyed spending any playtime with janitor if I didn't have my own interesting collections going on at the back forest of our school. Too bad that at this age not even maintenance staff wants to spend any time with me. :>

I, too was a kid who spent time talking to adults like janitors and maintenance personnel and hanging out in the machine shop, etc. Good thing I didn't fall prey to some pedophile along the way!

 

[pacman]

BWAHAHAHAHAH! I'll armwrestle you for claim on the cartoon.

I found it on an anonymous imageboard. Use it as you please.

 

[Sparticus]

"I'm surrounded by people...I'm surrounded by people"...let me keep saying that to myself to stay motivated...wtf?! Where did everyone go? Everyone split...it was just 3-4? years ago that I knew a group of guys I could socialize with & talk about football. They are all gone; either divorced, not coming around, moved out of State etc.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I, too was a kid who spent time talking to adults like janitors and maintenance personnel and hanging out in the machine shop, etc. Good thing I didn't fall prey to some pedophile along the way!

Now that I'm an adult, I mostly get along with children, and I've frequently been worried someone would think I was some pedophile. :unsure:

 

[Ste11aeres]

It’s sad that the world thinks that way, but I know all too well what you mean. As I’ve mentioned before, that is why I won’t teach children’s Sunday school or work with the youth. Nowadays, people jump to very wrong conclusions if they see a never-married man working with kids.

Worse for you than for me. I have that fear, and I am a woman; it's even worse for men. A guy worked at the same place where I once did. He was some sort of assistant to a kid with Autism (probably aspergers which had been diagnosed as being more pronounced than it later turned out to be) and the parents of another kid saw him and called the police because somehow they knew he wasn't one of the actual teachers, but didn't know he was legit. (I don't know why they didn't just ask the school office who he was :

 

[Biblio-Love]

Bullseye, and owch, BTW. Trapped is the word of the day. Such things are never simple, and I'd be choosing consequences not just for me, but others who are blameless in all of this. Not willing to wear that, no. So, it's to Coping and Mitigation, window 3. Besides, Earth's full of people who would trade places with me in an instant, innit?

Thanks for putting your finger on it, tho. That's why I post my crap here.

Marriage can be incredibly lonely because there is an expectation that you always have someone there when needed and never feel lonely. But relationships are never that simple. But loyalty and commitment are a given for me... mitigation and coping it is. And you are right to count your blessings. Many women would think me ungrateful since I have dedicated and hardworking husband who provides for me and our daughter. And he makes me laugh

 

[paloftoon]

Loneliness is not truly comparable is many aspects. People will usually look at one or two things that stick out and don't want to get into a discussion about all the aspects and you or that person as a whole. People may or may not feel lonely based on what they care or don't care about, what they consider friends, and the confusion as to what constitutes as a friend, acquaintance, or neither.

I personally feel lonely even though I am building friends up because most of my friends are more like acquaintances because they are only good for certain interests or random hang outs, but are not dependable at all if you need them. I won't be so eager for a person that I look like I'm constantly begging. Eventually, I will no longer initiate, not push that person away, but move on to other people if they won't give me the time of day. A true friendship has good quality reciprocation and trust both ways. You might be wondering how do you get this? You take a risk by trying, but you don't let people walk all over you. Remember, it's not a competition or a trade of minutes or energy or such where the other friend has to ask the number of times you ask or has to ask you the same number of events as you have. If you aren't sure what number to go with, just initiate with one event, preferably one in your favor for scheduling. Then, if you're not invited to an event by said friend, then he/she is probably not a friend, but don't close the door on them. Still say hi, but don't say much more unless they ask. Then look for other people. There are good people out there, but they are so hard to find. Believe me, I'm still looking, and sometimes you find good people, but they change sometimes when we least need them to.

 

[paloftoon]

working with children

Best thing to do with children is always leave the door open, and never be alone with one child in the room of the opposite sex without the door open. Stay in open spaces where others can see you passing by or just can see you. Or if you're in a position where you have to wait for their parent all by yourself or such, then ask them to sit somewhere. If they don't listen, that's on them, but always be ready to defend yourself verbally if absolutely necessary. Don't jump to conclusions either and wait for said parent or such to say something if they feel it's an issue. Oh yeah, if you're not sure, do not initiate touching a student. If they want to shake your hand or hug you, it's okay for them to initiate and for you to respond. Don't be the one to initiate unless you're absolutely sure it's okay. With adults, you can initiate. Anyone in an underaged setting, better to play it safe. Especially since most aspies will have a hard time reading emotions and connections.

 

[Mozambike]

Heh, this is hard to answer. I have many friends, but I only know about 4 in real life, and I can only see them like 1 or maybe 2 times per year because they live in other cities... all the rest of friends are from other countries and I chat with them everyday, so, I'm lonely under the fact that I'm always managing life without seeing friends, but I'm not lonely since I actually have friends in some way.... so... yes, I would like to see them more frequently, but I just can't.

 

[Perry Holia Kerrith]

Recently I've been feeling lonelier than... Than I know how to put into words. The same way I've experienced flashes of barely controllable anger, I will sometimes fall into pits of despair; wallow for days in misery and self pity. Sometimes I can distract myself with games or anime, but other times...

All of the people around me just seem like self consumed fools. I won't sacrifice my ideals and stoop to their level. I want them to see the world how I see it, and rise to meet me.

But that's both conceited and self defeating, as most people are... Content. They don't know my pain, and I feel bad that I wish they did, just so that I would have somebody to talk to.

Still... I am admittedly both arrogant and stubborn. I'll hold to my ideals. And dash the consequences.

 

[Aalo]

This thought has been forming for few days now. I hear everyone telling that people shouldn't learn to enjoy being lonely, and been thinking that there's a great deal of things wrong in me because I feel I enjoy it the most of all. I've been doubting if I interpret myself really wrong, but maybe I don't in fact feel lonely because I have so strong feeling about individuality concerning every person alive, that the fact that they don't qualify, or that I don't qualify for them, how ever that is seen, doesn't change the gap between people. It doesn't physically make me any more distant. I am already distracted in my own bubble, and not giving a damn about most people won't have me personally suffering any more than before, they won't physically hurt me as I am. So I won't probably get hurt in any way.

On last page I did wrote about common (not mine) need for physical contact in means of oxytocin release.
Week ago I was meeting a group of online friends, and one, whom I know to be ok as a person, of them was quite a heck drunk. Well, we ended up posing in some kind of hug photograph. Normally I excuse myself out or dodge any attempt of anyone trying to get physical in any intention, and it's quite weird, but it didn't bother me at all this time despite that there was physical closeness involved. It's like it wasn't because of that person, but the booze. Well, maybe next touchy time lies after few years, and I won't be waiting for it enthusiastically.
- I'd like to get my oxytocin in pill form. And I already eat several hormones and supplements so it wouldn't change much.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Not lonely, not so much anymore. Mostly because I learned to be okay being alone. And recently, my friend and I became much closer;even so, the old me would have felt lonely with the amount of contact that we are able to have; the new me treasures the moments we have.

 

[Galaxy Freeze]

Right now, at least, I feel very alone. My mom and I just got in a stupid fight and we just came back from seeing her annoying relatives. Very bad day, and I feel no one will listen to me but my snake. That's right... now, she's the only one keeping me company. For awhile I locked myself in my room and just held her and laid on the bed. I went on here to calm my nerves, though. I'm just holed up in my computer room and being even more reclusive than ever... In general, I feel pretty isolated, but today is exceptionally bad.