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How I Was Treated Like Absolute Trash for Being an Autistic Person

Am I off my rocker?

  • Off your rocker

    Votes: 1 33.3%

  • Completely Justified

    Votes: 2 66.7%
  • Total voters
    3
marrowbuster said:
Either way the damage is done and their overreliance on what the so-called professionals recommended them without practicing a modicum of critical thinking or cross checking makes me feel like they were too stupid to be parents.


Not if it's a safe space that helps your autistic kid ground themselves and regulate their emotions. Also, just because a parent was raised a certain way doesn't mean it's right or excuse it. I won't be having kids, but even if I wanted to, I damn well know I wouldn't raise them the way my folks raised me.


Yeah I was agitated crapless about being unable to use my own computer beyond their strict time limits to learn how to code and they responded by goddamn medicalising my distress and weaponising drugs and therapy to try to keep me compliant.


For my response to it EVEN THOUGH MY SIBLING KNEW I WOULDN'T HANDLE IT WELL. Also, in a perfect world, the teachers would have told the instigating student to knock it off, but unfortunately in both my situation as well as that hypothetical one, the person who tries standing up for themselves gets disciplined. This victim blaming mentality makes me want to punch a wall.


I LITERALLY TOLD THEM I DIDN'T WANT TO AND THEY TOLD ME I COULDN'T SAY NO. I write things in caps because I cannot emphasise these points enough in the face of having all the same justifications about my folks "tHeY wErE dOiNg ThEiR bEsT" regurgitated onto me without applying a shred of critical thought or empathy towards how I feel about it.

Verdict: "Doing the best for your kid" and still leaving them scarred for life are not as mutually exclusive as you might think, especially when abject stupidity and an inability to see one's autistic kid as an autonomous individual rather than an extension of the parent are involved.
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I'm not good at providing empathy or emotional support as I tend to focus on stuff that is practical or useful. I do feel bad and do understand what you went through. I agree you were greatly harmed by your parent's behavior. I didn't intend to excuse your parent's behavior or blame you for what happened.

I'm hesitant to say more but I know that words can help and are never harmful (as you can always choose to ignore anything you don't want to hear - including the rest of this response). When I think about the past, I focus on what I can learn from my experiences so I can make better decisions in the future. For example, if I were in your situation, I might have learned that behaving appropriately (which is always a choice) is more important than acting based on my feelings or that hurt feelings aren't a valid excuse for breaking the rules. This could help me avoid getting fired or ending up in jail if I chose to act out at work or in public because of how I felt. When bad things happen to me, I focus on what I can do to improve the situation as I only have the power to control my own actions. For example, if a safe space is taken away, I'd learn other ways to regulate my emotions. If I lost access to a computer I enjoyed, I'd seek out new activities to find something else I enjoy. Of course, no one is perfect so I wouldn't have expected you, or anyone else, to always respond in the most optimal way. Your childhood probably would have been much better if your parents paid more attention, respected you, listened to you, tried to understand you better, and taught you better ways of thinking and dealing with problems.
 
@marrowbuster, I hope (if you want to) you will let us know if you hear back from Specialisterne or anywhere else you've been waiting to hear from.

Hoping things work out for you
 
marrowbuster said:
Sorry for the late reply, have been away this past week.
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No worries -- didn't seem late to me (I have basically no sense of time; And no particular expectations for timing of response in a forum discussion thread)
marrowbuster said:
They never got back to me.
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Well that sucks. Hopefully they are just quite busy (catch up from holidays or some such thing) and taking a while...
 
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