HOW DO YOU RELAX?

[trustwaves]

Trustwaves, this is a great question. I have enjoyed reading everyone’s responses so far. Some of the responses I can relate to and some not so much. Isn’t that one of the nice things about Aspies Central? We relate and hopefully we apply what we read when we think it might help. Like you, I am almost always feeling some degree of anxiety. When the the anxiety is less it seems I work to repair and try to recover enough to sleep and face another day. When the anxiety is greater, repair has to take a back seat to recover. Unfortunately, repair is bank rolled and in a few days I am overwhelmed. Managing this made me fantastically self centered and hurtful to those I was living with. That is why I predominately live alone these days. Pathetic, yes? To recover and repair, I sit out on the back porch and I try to be as a quiet as possible. I will have a drink and a cigar. I may spend two to four hours each night and early morning. I think it’s more about reestablishing my process / routine than quiet solitude. I have so many people that rely on me. I have to keep going. I can’t stop. I can’t let them down. I can’t ..... stop ..... trying! I am so tired. I am so exhausted. Trustwaves, do you ever feel like you ever get close to feeling relaxed? If so, what do you do to try?

Thankyou for your answer! It's so interesting reading about how everyone else lives their lives and how they try to relax! For me I couldn't just sit outside, my thoughts would be awful I'm so jealous of people who can do this. For me, I only feel somewhat peaceful should I say when I'm painting by numbers as my brain is very detail focused and loves how satisfying it is. Hot baths and showers can be very relaxing but doesn't last long enough. Walking and dancing relax me too but I need music to stop my mind from wondering ...

 

[trustwaves]

If I'm severely stressed, I wedge myself between the mattress and boxsprings for a few minutes, and then follow that up with the usual "deep relaxation" techniques (belly breathing and progressive muscle relaxation). If done correctly, it feels like a long, hot shower for a little longer than a long, hot shower. Also, have to turn off all sources of noise, dim the lights, make sure the cat is not in the room, and so on.

If I'm not severely stressed, I just do the deep relaxation techniques or stretches.

I think the big thing is doing something where I'm forced to pay attention to my immediate senses rather than getting lost in my head with all the what-ifs.

I love how you've found your own ways of relaxing! I completely agree with what you said about needing to pay attention to your senses! I'm the same as otherwise my mind will go crazy

 

[trustwaves]

Ultimate relaxation kit (any combination of these, never all at the same time):

1. dog/cat
2. music
3. favorite movie/ tv show
4. hot chocolate/ hot tea/ hot coffee
5. reading a good book
6. being alone in a quiet area where there are no distractions/ nonessential stimuli
7. hot shower/ hot bath
8. talking one-on-one with a really patient, familiar, and understanding friend/family member

Yes I love this! These things can relax you when you're in a good mental place but if not then it's easy for obsessive thoughts to come in

 

[Pondering]

When I'm not in a good mental place, I find it helpful to try to relax by singing. Singing is scientifically proven to boost a person's mood. Angry, sad, depressed . . . it doesn't help a ton for me but it helps a little. Better than nothing.

 

[Kazoo]

I find it hard to relax too, but what sometimes helps me calm down is taking long, fast walks while listening to music in my headphones. It seems to me that anxiety gets way worse if you just try to watch a movie or read etc., because those are very passive activities. I'd rather do something active like walking or running. It's different for everyone, I hope you find something that works for you.

 

[George Newman]

There are a few specific techniques that can be learned to quickly reduce physiological effects of stress. Each of these actually help turn off the stress mediators in the brain. Progressive Muscle Relaxations techniques is physical and really relaxes the body for sleep. Go through it every night before bed. There is a you tube video with good animation. In 3-4 weeks you will notice big change.

Breathing techniques are another group. 4/6 breathing has been shown to be effective. Just look at a second hand and inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 6 and hit it exactly with the second hand do that for 4-6 minutes. When you get good with this one you will be able to make a significant difference in 3-4 breaths. I like it because I can do it in any situation actively.

I practice Meditation/Mindfulness. I think a beginner could fast-track their way into this by taking Jon-Kabat Zinn Mindful Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program in your area. I think it is 8 classes long. It is actually taught in many hospitals.

I think these things might be more important for AS person because they can use these to minimize the effect of meltdowns, and may need a few more ticks in their bag to minimize the effect of stress.

Weight lifting, and listing to music are the most relaxing things I do the most. I practice meditation so weightlifting is a very focused relaxed thing. Sometimes music is like pressing a button.

Tell me more about this mindfulness. I am courious.

 

[Puppywings49]

Usually, finding some place that's quiet and alone, then putting on some music (Here Comes a Thought is one of my favorite relaxing songs) and thinking. Bonus if it's up high or near water (although that depends on the person)

 

[trustwaves]

I find it hard to relax too, but what sometimes helps me calm down is taking long, fast walks while listening to music in my headphones. It seems to me that anxiety gets way worse if you just try to watch a movie or read etc., because those are very passive activities. I'd rather do something active like walking or running. It's different for everyone, I hope you find something that works for you.

Yeah this works for me too! Or if I can't get out due to bad anxiety of leaving the house then I'll do a workout

 

[trustwaves]

Usually, finding some place that's quiet and alone, then putting on some music (Here Comes a Thought is one of my favorite relaxing songs) and thinking. Bonus if it's up high or near water (although that depends on the person)

Yeah I love this! I always love finding cliffs to sit on and admire the view! It's an added bonus if it has a lake too

 

[Jenn987]

When it's warm enough I take my dog for a walk at 3am and we walk until sunrise. There's no one else out at that time, its so quiet!

 

[Nihil]

Read books, watch TV shows, play video games, listen to music.

 

[Mary Anne]

Hiking deep in the woods alone, kayaking a quiet river, walking miles of laps round an empty field track, petting my cats, doing art or crafts, looking at books in the library, watching an enthralling movie, reading a great book, listening to 50s jazz in the darkness of night, walking across a frozen lake in deep winter, watching the sun set on a peaceful lake, exploring old abandoned places, window shopping when it’s 2 am and the city is silent, gardening, raking leaves, listening to trains rumble by as I lay in bed, listening to the ocean waves while rock and shell collecting.

 

[DCA]

Reading, occasionally watching TV, or building models especially. I can really get into a zen-like state of focus when doing that, & have a sense of accomplishment afterwards...

 

[Horsegirl]

I run to relax.