How do you feel about NTs?

[ZebraAutismo]

Like aspies and auties they are all unique. They fascinate me but some make me uncomfortable particularly people my own age since it's seem to be prime backstabbing age.

 

[Warmheart]

 

[Nitro]

Yes - I think this sums it up. When earlier you said that you think a lot of us need to learn to not care what others think of us or what we say - well....yeah. That's not going to work for people who are different from you

Now - as for not caring what others think of what you say - well, that can wind up offensive. For example, when you follow up the statement "We obviously aren't the same kind of people" with the statement that you are extroverted and light up a room - for most NTs (and also me), that can seem like a jab - like you are implying that unlike you, I am introverted and darken the room with gloom. I chose to assume you didn't mean it that way - but that could cause offense. Those are the kinds of things I am trying not to do. And if I end up doing that kind of thing over and over, then I can't blame people for not feeling at ease with me, just as I would not feel at ease with someone who would say things that threw me off or made me uncomfortable. I distance myself from people like that.

My first part I want to address is about negativity. If you already have the attitude that others are out to get you,where will that lead? Definitely not on the positive side.

The next part you could ask is if I care how you feel about me. I'm going to tell you that I don't care,but I think I already established that in the beginning.

If you distance yourself from me,you won't have to deal with me,so I do understand that part. My next question I will ask is just how many friends on the autism roller coaster do you have that you interact with IRL? I'm guessing that it isn't very many given the percentage of spectrumites they estimate there are

Eventually,you will end up in total isolation,which is fine if that's what you want. I kind of like having others around,so that won't work for me.
My circle of friends pretty much revolves around my interests,so they all kind of just take me in stride because I have never been any different.The interests I have are very interesting to those who know me well and those people pretty much bring the noobs up to speed about the crazy old dude that does some uber cool stuff.

 

[Nitro]

Yes - I think this sums it up. When earlier you said that you think a lot of us need to learn to not care what others think of us or what we say - well....yeah. That's not going to work for people who are different from you

Now - as for not caring what others think of what you say - well, that can wind up offensive. For example, when you follow up the statement "We obviously aren't the same kind of people" with the statement that you are extroverted and light up a room - for most NTs (and also me), that can seem like a jab - like you are implying that unlike you, I am introverted and darken the room with gloom. I chose to assume you didn't mean it that way - but that could cause offense. Those are the kinds of things I am trying not to do. And if I end up doing that kind of thing over and over, then I can't blame people for not feeling at ease with me, just as I would not feel at ease with someone who would say things that threw me off or made me uncomfortable. I distance myself from people like that.

Now it's time for another question that is important to me.

How do you determine which ones are on the spectrum and which are not? Do you ask for identification,you know,like little calling cards or registrations,or is it all just one huge guess?

 

[Ambi]

My first part I want to address is about negativity. If you already have the attitude that others are out to get you,where will that lead? Definitely not on the positive side.

The next part you could ask is if I care how you feel about me. I'm going to tell you that I don't care,but I think I already established that in the beginning.

If you distance yourself from me,you won't have to deal with me,so I do understand that part. My next question I will ask is just how many friends on the autism roller coaster do you have that you interact with IRL? I'm guessing that it isn't very many given the percentage of spectrumites they estimate there are

Eventually,you will end up in total isolation,which is fine if that's what you want. I kind of like having others around,so that won't work for me.
My circle of friends pretty much revolves around my interests,so they all kind of just take me in stride because I have never been any different.The interests I have are very interesting to those who know me well and those people pretty much bring the noobs up to speed about the crazy old dude that does some uber cool stuff.

I'm not sure what you're talking about - I am surrounded by people at work and at church, so I am not winding up isolated. Whereas people used to hate me, I now have many people who like me, due to my efforts of improving my social footprint. I just learn to navigate among people. For me, learning to do that depends directly upon caring how I come across to them, making the effort to navigate carefully. Yes, it can be anxiety provoking and like a minefield - that does not mean that I do not do it on a daily basis.

As for people who keep coming off as offensive/insensitive, I do distance myself - but that does not mean I run away from them or avoid being in the room with them. I still greet them and converse if we are seated together, but I do not bring them into closer intimacy relationship wise.

 

[Nitro]

I'm not sure what you're talking about - I am surrounded by people at work and at church, so I am not winding up isolated. Whereas people used to hate me, I now have many people who like me, due to my efforts of improving my social footprint. I just learn to navigate among people. For me, learning to do that depends directly upon caring how I come across to them, making the effort to navigate carefully. Yes, it can be anxiety provoking and like a minefield - that does not mean that I do not do it on a daily basis.

As for people who keep coming off as offensive/insensitive, I do distance myself - but that does not mean I run away from them or avoid being in the room with them. I still greet them and converse if we are seated together, but I do not bring them into closer intimacy relationship wise.

You pretty much just reiterated what I have been saying.
You learned to tell them what they wanted to hear in order to start saying the "right" things. That's what I meant by lighting up the room. Humor works well in many situations. When doing business,it's what you have to offer each other that makes the connection.

Its all just a part of the game,where neurology has little to do with it,just human contact and connections.

 

[Ambi]

You pretty much just reiterated what I have been saying.
You learned to tell them what they wanted to hear in order to start saying the "right" things. That's what I meant by lighting up the room. Humor works well in many situations. When doing business,it's what you have to offer each other that makes the connection.

Its all just a part of the game,where neurology has little to do with it,just human contact and connections.

No.....we're making different points. You said I need to stop caring what others think of what I say. I said, actually, I learned to care even more about what they think of what I say. And for me, that doesn't mean just telling them "what they want to hear". I'm not fake. It does mean that I don't just speak unfiltered because that can hurt or confuse people. I tell plenty of people things that might not please them, but I am considerate about how I do it.

Not sure about why the other question was addressed to me - like about how we are supposed to tell who has ASD and who does not. Sorry, but I don't think I'm following this conversation anymore. And I'm fairly confident of my own experience and what is working for me in my life right now regarding caring how I come across to others - that's a lesson that has been spanning my entire life.

 

[pjcnet]

Well so far at the time of writing 0% have answered, "I want to be one", so NTs, stop looking for "cures" instead of just accepting us, autism is NOT a disease that needs to be cured and most aspies don't want to be an NT, also without aspies where would the world be today without many major inventions and breakthroughs in science?

I generally wouldn't go as far as to say that I dislike NTs, but I wish more would only take the time to read up and understand aspies better rather than complaining about our traits and sometimes even trying to punish us for them. Things have somewhat improved over the years, but the lack of education and understanding, mainly on the part of NTs is still one of the greatest barriers between aspies and NTs in my opinion.

 

[megacomic]

honestly dont care one way or the other. It depends on the NT.

 

[Mia]

Have lived and worked with neurotypical people for much of my life. My contact with people who are autistic consist of my younger sister, my spouse and a few friends and the people at aspie central.

I consider others on a person by person basis. All were and are different, I have some friends who are N/T's and still do. I don't differentiate between N/T's and people with autism.

Neither of these two groups stand out as being particularly disparate from one another. Yet there have been individuals who I didn't like or didn't get along with and that would include aspies and neurotypicals.

It's the individuals themselves, not the groups painted with a rather broad brush here, that I consider. Rather than thinking of them as different from me, I consider the people I don't quite like as 'triggering' something in me that creates dislike.

 

[Nitro]

No.....we're making different points. You said I need to stop caring what others think of what I say. I said, actually, I learned to care even more about what they think of what I say. And for me, that doesn't mean just telling them "what they want to hear". I'm not fake. It does mean that I don't just speak unfiltered because that can hurt or confuse people. I tell plenty of people things that might not please them, but I am considerate about how I do it.

Not sure about why the other question was addressed to me - like about how we are supposed to tell who has ASD and who does not. Sorry, but I don't think I'm following this conversation anymore. And I'm fairly confident of my own experience and what is working for me in my life right now regarding caring how I come across to others - that's a lesson that has been spanning my entire life.

My choice of words was poor. The word I was looking for was worrying,not caring.

"I like NTs from a distance. That doesn't mean I don't like them up close, but it just feels more awkward, uncomfortable and dangerous up close - like walking in a minefield, waiting to screw something up and have them get weirded out, offended, bored, etc."




When y'all talk about NTs that you don't want to screw up in front of,how can you be certain that they are neurotypical?
That's the part that's a guess,much like the subjectivity used during a pro diagnostic session.

That's why I asked you that question that was open ended for others to contemplate.

 

[Ylva]

I don't have feelings about the concept of neurotypicality, and the group itself is too diverse to have set feelings about.

And I still use the word "them". I think this is probably the wrong attitude, thoughts?

"They" just means "those people in that group which I am not a part of". It would be weirder if you referred to NTs as "us", since you are neurodiverse.

 

[Ragnahawk]

I think a lot of the NTs in my life were hoping/expecting I would just die or go crazy. I am extremely unsatisfied with the status quo. My family understands me. Yet the rest of the world...
I get that you can just ignore all your problems, blend in, disappear off of their radar. That doesn't help the ones who don't have that camoflague. Think about that when you say you have no problems with NT. You don't. Little ol you. (Directed at whoever applies) The world needs compassion and understanding. My problem with NT is that there's no acceptance.

 

[InfinityRose]

Like others before me have stated, it completely depends on the person. I have met some amazing people who were NT's (at least as far as I knew) and I've also met some NT's who drive me up a wall. Same goes with neurodiverse people. Sometimes we can be great, other times we're a real handful.

 

[wight]

Well, the poll didn't have "who cares" or a "I don't "feel" anything about NT" selection, so I guess I won't get counted in it.

Seriously, I don't "feel" anything regarding neurotypical people as a group. I tend to take people one at a time and pretty much most of them irritate me in one way or another. I don't bother to think about whether they are NT or ND. And I really don't care what they think about me. I've reached a point where I'm "take it or leave it" with getting along with others.

 

[Ragnahawk]

So basically most of the people here whether they realize or not have become callous and cold. That's what I am reading behind the words. Isn't that a little too easy?

It's time to start caring even though it hurts. It doesn't matter who you care towards. We can start changing perceptions. At the end of the day at least you will have tried. I'm trying. Daily. Yes I've been hurt, I've screwed up.

I have the worst problem saying or writing it. I just hope that someone reads this and a spark of life takes hold. This is the only way I know how.

 

[megacomic]

I think a lot of the NTs in my life were hoping/expecting I would just die or go crazy. I am extremely unsatisfied with the status quo. My family understands me. Yet the rest of the world...
I get that you can just ignore all your problems, blend in, disappear off of their radar. That doesn't help the ones who don't have that camoflague. Think about that when you say you have no problems with NT. You don't. Little ol you. (Directed at whoever applies) The world needs compassion and understanding. My problem with NT is that there's no acceptance.

That's pretty much people in a general. A good friend of mine used to always say in this world you'll have 10 people that love you 10 people that hate you and seven billion who don't give a damn. Don't take it too literally but NT's are not thinking about ruining your life when they wake up in the morning. Truth is most people don't register others on their radar unless that person is of personal significance. Is it unfortunate? Maybe. But it's also efficient. Unless you are famous powerful person the world does not care about you. When you leave this earth the world won't stand still and mourn people will still live their day to day lives. That would probably be even more true in a world full of Aspies. Sorry I'm just being realistic.

 

[Ragnahawk]

That's pretty much people in a general. A good friend of mine used to always say in this world you'll have 10 people that love you 10 people that hate you and seven billion who don't give a damn. Don't take it too literally but NT's are not thinking about ruining your life when they wake up in the morning. Truth is most people don't register others on their radar unless that person is of personal significance. Is it unfortunate? Maybe. But it's also efficient. Unless you are famous powerful person the world does not care about you. When you leave this earth the world won't stand still and mourn people will still live their day to day lives. That would probably be even more true in a world full of Aspies. Sorry I'm just being realistic.

I wish I had the argument, all the times in history where one person made the difference. Sadly. There hasn't ever been one person that made a difference. Rather a group of people who all accepted the idea. Sure. You can roll over and die one day. One person has never made a difference. Ideas however. Little by little, even if it is small, a ripple can become a tsunami.

You can't make a difference as one person. Only by making connections and spreading to other people can you make a difference.

 

[Bolletje]

I don't have feelings about NT's as a group, mostly because I don't see them as a group. I judge people on their behaviour, not on their neurodevelopmental status. I like a lot of people, feel neutral about the many and dislike very few.

 

[Ragnahawk]

I don't have feelings about NT's as a group, mostly because I don't see them as a group. I judge people on their behaviour, not on their neurodevelopmental status. I like a lot of people, feel neutral about the many and dislike very few.

Basically like a solar system. The sun has many planets orbiting around it in perfect harmony. As odd as it may look. It works.