How do you feel about NTs?

[Bella Pines]

I read a blog recently that is written by an autistic about NTs. It is a tad patronising to NTs, but FAR less so than any article written by NTs about aspies, which always contain phrases like 'symptoms' and 'diagnosis', like it's a disease that needs to be managed. However, the blog raises a lot of interesting points.

Acting NT: Neurotypical Syndrome Played Straight

But projecting forward, this also goes down an inadvisable path of "us and them" which is never good. Whether it's men v woman, isolating a culture or religion, or something as simple as programmers v project managers, the "us and them" mentality is never productive.

However, knowing and believing this is one thing, but putting it into practice is much harder. In my teens and 20s I always thought NTs would one day wake up, that they would eventually realise how irrational they were being, tell me I was right all along and come around to my way of thinking.

They never did.

Then I started to emulate them. However, I'm so extremely, far end of the spectrum aspie that I never truly mastered it.

Now, in my 40s, I accept them, find them interesting and am content to co-exist beside them. I also married one and birthed 2 of them!

However, as hard as I try, there is still a part of me that views NTs in the same way a scientist would view a monkey. And I still use the word "them". I think this is probably the wrong attitude, thoughts?

 

[Keigan]

Most lives matter.

There is always an “us” vs “them” any place you look, right.

I find i can co-exist through acceptance and tolerance though some times better than others. I see value of their behavior and mine. The best I can do is to blend in and help them be with me.

 

[Mr Allen]

If you want to read an interesting Blog written from the viewpoint of an Aspie, have a read of mine (to which there's a link in my profile and signature).

 

[Nitro]

I'm not so petty to place humans in tidy little boxes according to neurology. I feel about the same way about the black art of psychology.
I think that is a toxic view on life. I sort my people by how they treat me,not by how their brain is wired.

If you narrow it down to the minute percentage of the world that is considered neurodiverse as the only people you get along with,you will only have a very narrow view of life

 

[Mattymatt]

I really don't know how to answer this one because I am ambivalent. I think I like NTs as individuals but when they go into that "group think" mentality, it can be absolutely maddening. I cannot ascribe to the whole buying or doing things simply because a celebrity does it or "everyone's doing it."

 

[Ambi]

I like NTs from a distance. That doesn't mean I don't like them up close, but it just feels more awkward, uncomfortable and dangerous up close - like walking in a minefield, waiting to screw something up and have them get weirded out, offended, bored, etc.

 

[Nitro]

I like NTs from a distance. That doesn't mean I don't like them up close, but it just feels more awkward, uncomfortable and dangerous up close - like walking in a minefield, waiting to screw something up and have them get weirded out, offended, bored, etc.

I think many of you need to learn what I did and to not care what others think about how you act or what you say.

 

[Ambi]

I think many of you need to learn what I did and to not care what others think about how you act or what you say.

For me, personally, I would never be happy with that. I don't like accidentally causing confusion, discord, offense, etc - and I would rather leave a good impression than a bad impression because leaving a bad impression results in negative impacts on my own life....plus, I hate being on the receiving end of someone who is accidentally (or intentionally) inconsiderate, hurtful, offensive, etc. I like to be considerate of other people, and that includes being considerate of how I come across to them. And attempting to make it in keeping with my intentions rather than there being a communication breakdown due to verbal, non-verbal, or situational/context issues.

This is the goal that can be tricky to navigate with NTs:

 

[dragoncat16]

@Nitro It's not that easy when you are surrounded by NTs who are actively working toward destroying your life. Personally I plan to spend the rest of my life staying away from them as nothing good has ever happened to me through interactions with them.

 

[celestialregale]

I can't imagine being like my few NT acquaintances and despite my problems, I don't think I'd want to be either. It's like we just have different priorities. My NT hubby is the most amazing person though, and we seem to sort of balance each other out.

 

[Nitro]

@Nitro It's not that easy when you are surrounded by NTs who are actively working toward destroying your life. Personally I plan to spend the rest of my life staying away from them as nothing good has ever happened to me through interactions with them.

You are always going to be surrounded by NTs.
I honestly don't think they get up in the morning with their sights set of screwing up an autie's day,do you?

 

[Nitro]

For me, personally, I would never be happy with that. I don't like accidentally causing confusion, discord, offense, etc - and I would rather leave a good impression than a bad impression because leaving a bad impression results in negative impacts on my own life....plus, I hate being on the receiving end of someone who is accidentally (or intentionally) inconsiderate, hurtful, offensive, etc. I like to be considerate of other people, and that includes being considerate of how I come across to them. And attempting to make it in keeping with my intentions rather than there being a communication breakdown due to verbal, non-verbal, or situational/context issues.

This is the goal that can be tricky to navigate with NTs:

We obviously aren't the same kind of people. I have an extroverted personality and generally light up a room when I enter it,so people listen to me,and those that don't are at a loss,not me.

I do tend to monologue a bit,but generally what I have to say interests others,or I remain quiet and listen to what others have to say.

 

[Nitro]

To repeat myself,I'm not divisive on people over their neurology,mainly because I had no idea I was even on the spectrum until later in life.

 

[dragoncat16]

You are always going to be surrounded by NTs.
I honestly don't think they get up in the morning with their sights set of screwing up an autie's day,do you?

I will not be surrounded by NTs if I don't leave my house.

I'm not just being paranoid here. I can name at least 3 people who did get up in the morning for over a year thinking about how they could screw me over. I have lost my career I worked decades to build because of those people and nobody who could do anything about it cares at all, even though there is solid proof of what they did to me.

 

[Ambi]

We obviously aren't the same kind of people.

Yes - I think this sums it up. When earlier you said that you think a lot of us need to learn to not care what others think of us or what we say - well....yeah. That's not going to work for people who are different from you

Now - as for not caring what others think of what you say - well, that can wind up offensive. For example, when you follow up the statement "We obviously aren't the same kind of people" with the statement that you are extroverted and light up a room - for most NTs (and also me), that can seem like a jab - like you are implying that unlike you, I am introverted and darken the room with gloom. I chose to assume you didn't mean it that way - but that could cause offense. Those are the kinds of things I am trying not to do. And if I end up doing that kind of thing over and over, then I can't blame people for not feeling at ease with me, just as I would not feel at ease with someone who would say things that threw me off or made me uncomfortable. I distance myself from people like that.

 

[Ambi]

I will not be surrounded by NTs if I don't leave my house.

I'm not just being paranoid here. I can name at least 3 people who did get up in the morning for over a year thinking about how they could screw me over. I have lost my career I worked decades to build because of those people and nobody who could do anything about it cares at all, even though there is solid proof of what they did to me.

I do agree with this - the social aspect is what has killed me at work. I am working very hard this time to come across as best as I can so as to avoid the same social problems I have had at other jobs.

 

[Nitro]

I do agree with this - the social aspect is what has killed me at work. I am working very hard this time to come across as best as I can so as to avoid the same social problems I have had at other jobs.

That's part of why I climbed the corporate ladder until I was the big cheese

 

[Butterfly88]

Personally I don't find them any more or less interesting or irritating than those with ASD. I try to look at people as people regardless of their brain wirings.

 

[Bella Pines]

I see value of their behavior and mine.

I think I like NTs as individuals but when they go into that "group think" mentality, it can be absolutely maddening.

I hate being on the receiving end of someone who is accidentally (or intentionally) inconsiderate, hurtful, offensive, etc. I like to be considerate of other people, and that includes being considerate of how I come across to them.

I'm not religious, I was a complete pain in the butt to my R.E. teacher at my catholic school for constantly querying inconsistencies, I do appreciate Buddhism, but generally get neither comfort nor inspiration from any religion.

However, I do find some opinions on this forum both logical and inspirational. See value, see people as individuals (not labels), and treat each as you would want to be treated. I tend to generalize and classify, so taking the perspective down to individuals is what I need to do. So yes, thank you, wise words.

 

[WereBear]

I try to model the behavior I would want anyone to display.