how do they spot us?

[Soup]

Use my handy dandy kit to create some!

Those ASPIES are all a bunch of geek loners . <---- The kit works every time AND it's FREE!

 

[kchapman1988]

i resent that, i dont have the learnin to be a geek! i wish i could keep up with all yous smartie britches

 

[Soup]

You're doing just fine, kchapman. Writing is a SKILL. Virtually anyone can learn how it works & become reasonably proficient. Chain-making is another skill: one that you are proficient in & I'm incapable of-so who's the smarty britches now?

 

[Spinning Compass]

How do they spot us? Well, as I have aged and learned to fit in better I haven't been called out as often (at least not to my face). I do think age has a lot to do with it. I am not comfortable with younger people especially teens. I did have problems with a supervisor that I think was because she was picking up on something even though she might not have been able to put it in words. I was not the only one who had problems with this particular supervisor for this reason. But she is gone now.

The thing is there is still so much prejudice out there. I hear it all the time from people who don't realize I am one of the people they are putting down and it is so hard sometimes to know what to say about it. Such as the casual use of the term "retard". Sometimes I say something, most often I don't, because generally people are not open and they just become defensive. Then the whole mood turns sour and guess what, you are the one responsible.

But what do they look for? The way I can spot others is, one, by the way they dress. Two, behavior, especially talking very loudly. Facial expressions or lack of. General "cluenessness" about social behavior. I may not know if someone is autistic but I do know that they stand out. Another clue is if others are shunning that person, I look to see why. Having been bullied for a great deal of my life I have learned what bullies look for.

 

[King_Oni]

I don't know if people spot me as someone on the spectrum. I never managed to blend in though... but that's more of a personal preference. fashion sense and then some, that puts me more outside the norm to start with.

As for the rather blank aspie stare... I think I have it quite a lot, but I wear shades pretty much all the time (except when I'm at home) so I don't really have the eye contact issue that much, as well as not having a stare going on that people notice. However, I wear those shades for a different reason than those mentioned.

Except for a small group (mostly the people here) I don't really express my (sensory) issues as well. It's not that I dont want people to know, but it's more of a "I rarely talk to people". On a regular week I talk to 4 people in real life, one being my girlfriend, who is aware of it, the other a friend, who is on the spectrum himself, and the other 2 are my parents, and I don't really talk a lot to them to start with.

So, all in all... I think the idea people get from me when I'm outside is that I'm a bit peculiar anyway and that my Aspergers might be the least bit "weird" I show off. I'm quite sure if you were to talk a lot away from me in sense of how I dress, things I prefer and put me in the more accepted mold, then my Aspergers will show more. That's also for instance where school and work interfered, because they thought my... erm... "persona" (the combination of how I look, dress, talk, think and act) was a facade, but in the end even therapists found out that I'm "like that in any and every sense" and changing it would be a really weird (or even dangerous) thing to go for in my case... since, and I read about this in my old reports from therapists in my teens... I was classified as having an identitydisorder of sorts, they just never conclude why and how... I think I know why and how... it's because, as a teen I was expected to act "like everyone else" and that just didn't sit well with me... in any sense.

So that concludes the "how can they spot us?" on my part; People will probably spot me as someone who is "different" but they have no clue what exactly my issue/disorder might be. And after close inspection people thought it went from disassociative personality disorders to bipolar, but never autism. For a big part I'm not THAT insecure as a lot of people on the spectrum are. Yes, I have my share of awkward moments, but I have my moments where I have a lot of confidence as well... I can easily steamroll someone in a conversation (if I want/need to). A while ago someone even asked me if being a public speaker would be a job for me... me? public speaker? meh... I'm well aware of my verbal capabilities, but I'm also well aware that I cannot function within a set of rules and my problem solving skills are more towards a lateral thinking perspective, which might be more attributed to the autism spectrum.

Looking at the start at the previous paragraph... "so that concludes..." and I still ramble on... my inner voice is telling me outer voice to shut up for now.

 

[Megan]

I can usually differentiate between an Aspie and a NT person. It looked like the vast majority of students at college today were NT. I saw a few people who looked like they could possibly be on the spectrum. I base this on their mannerisms and how they interact with others (From what I can observe of them from afar, at least). Sometimes, it is very obvious to me when someone has AS. I tend to be drawn to people who appear Aspie-like.

I must seem kind of strange, or at least shy, to very "normal" outgoing people because these people never seem to approach me. It could be because I don't make eye contact with them or smile.

 

[wyverary]

DOGS notice I'm different & do a double take or come check me out.

Me too. Which I love - dogs understand me and I understand them.

I imagine that, in the eyes of people who can better pick up social cues, we stand out like sore thumbs.

 

[wyverary]

I tend to be drawn to people who appear Aspie-like.

I tend to do the same. They just seem so much less...threatening.

 

[buckyboy14]

As do I. I'm almost certain my best friend has Asperger's, but he won't listen to me about it.

 

[Acetic]

I think some people can tell i'm acting when i try to be cheerful, joke around or excited; because i am lying to them, in truth i have a very dull and logical personality. I have been bullied all throughout middle school, a little bit in high-school and twice in college because i acted normally and people would know i was socially incapable. Every social situation i have ever been in lead to disaster eventually, because i can't connect with others and have a hard time reacting socially. It's frustrating because sometimes i feel like i have nothing to contribute to others, but when i do try it comes off as fake and insincere.

 

[Arcane]

I think people spot me as someone on the spectrum because some people regularly look for things that deviate and are not accepted as normal.They may not even know what an Aspie is, but instead just think I'm a bit odd. I don't think it's necessarily bad to be noticed; it means you're not afraid to hide it. I'm sure many people have scrutinized my habits too, but as long as I'm still me they can speculate all they want.

 

[balder]

When I was at school, people used to ask me if I was "anti-social" because I always avoid crowds. All friends I had were somehow strange to neurotypicals, but I guess I've always been considered just a typical "nerd", cause I used to be very good on school (except for Literature). In my college course, where everybody is nerd, I guess I am seen as arrogant by who doesn't know me.

 

[Soup]

Being misjudged as somehow arrogant is a burden many Aspies have had to bear. I see it this way: they don't have to like me or approve of me. All I ask is that they leave me the hell alone. Is it really so difficult? Must every living breathing person get dragged into the morass of their swirling social web? THey form a solid majority, All systems are designed for & by them to suit their cultures & needs: not ours. Who is truly arrogant? WE'VE been labelled as attention-seeking posers, as fakers, as 'retarded' as dangerous & weird, we've been outcast & at the same time pressured to force our way in & now we're pitied as sick neurotics in need of a cure!

REad through the many intelligent, articulate & reasoned posts in this forum: we aren't sick & we don't need to be repaired. Societies are inherently flawed structures in need of redesign & repair. The difference is that we Aspies do not deceive ourselves as to the defective nature of societies & cultures & thus cannot conform to that which makes no sense & is riddled with inconsistencies. THe stresses of living under such illogical regimes is what causes many of the behaviours the NT world sees as symptoms. I see them as the symptoms of severe cultural dissonance.