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how do they spot us?

smith2267

smith2267

Well-Known Member
"Oh my God, even the exchange students know I'm a nerd, thought Lisa, her heart plummeting. Do I give off nerdy pheromones, or what?"---Lisa Simpson

sometimes it seems like they really can detect us somehow. I mostly meant to share a laugh, but I guess it could turn into a serious topic if anyone wants.
 
DOGS notice I'm different & do a double take or come check me out. Other Aspies, people with Down Syndrome, those further on the spectrum can suss me out too. As one young Autistic boy on a bus once exclaimed, to the horror of his NT mother, "HEY! YOU'RE JUST LIKE ME!!!" The mother began babbling an apology & trying to quiet her son. I just said, "It's Okay: he's correct!"

Since we're electric beings & our central nervous system is electric, it makes some sense that, with our different wiring that we'd give off a possibly different electric 'vibe' others sense. Electricity aside, many of us Aspies (not ALL of us, but many..)have an expressionless face & Aspie eyes that seem to look through as opposed to AT people. Together with the expressionlessness, it can make bigger guys look menacing & small women like me appear like those ball jointed dolls Arashi222 loves so much.

Go to Google Images & look up Asperger's. You'll see many photos mostly of Aspie guys. Look at their fashion sense (or lack thereof). With women, that isn't as noticeable because female fashion is so vast. That can make them more visible. We also tend to have an odd gait (on our toes, slightly uncoordinated arm movements etc.)
 
Yeah, I seldom have any expression. The women in my life, when there are any, fight with me over how I am allowed to dress.
 
Apparently I have expressions that I'm not aware of and I've been told I walk strange and that my arms don't swing normally. Also my husband dresses me (very well, apparently) because I don't know how to wear clothes past about 1995.
 
I've been called out a handful of times on my mannerisms, most of which are subtle now. Unless I'm placed under hard stress, 97% of the time I somehow "blend in" as I've not too many people even suggest that I have an autistic disorder. I know all about that "vibe", though, and yeah, I can pick it up from a mile or two away effortlessly. Well, maybe not, but some of us are walking targets :)

Granted my motor skills, speech, and somewhat normal "intelligence" (don't get me started) do help, but I'm still not perfect.
 
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People will "tolerate" me when they need someone, anyone to talk to, and then they will talk to me. When life gets better for them they shove me to the side like day old meat, no longer willing to "tolerate" those "different vibes" that they feel toward me. Others have sensed just that different-ness and felt either intimidated or just someone they didn't want to be around. They say I give a bad vibe. Such an example happened at my work just yesterday.
 
Sorry to hear that things aren't going well at work, Harpuia.
 
strangely enough though, older people don't seem to care as much about it. It seems like I only have trouble with this with younger people. I don't know why. :/
 
I always have a hard time with people my own age but people who are parents I tend to get a long with more often so if they are my age and parents or older like my mom's age and have been parents I seem to get long with them better than people my own age. But younger people don't always have the life experience to understand that people are different.
 
:balanced:I do not believe we all look and dress the same, however it is possible that it is our often peculiar mannerisms that put us in the spotlight. I believe this is the case for many on the spectrum but not all. I do not believe in pigeon holing all those on the spectrum-I will reiterate the Autistic spectrum is extremely varied and putting everybody into one basket is confusing. :rolleyes2:
 
i move roboticly, very stiff. thou southern comfort fixes this :) lends me fludity and greater control over my body :)

personally i prefer wearing black tops for some reason
 
Arashi222 said:
I always have a hard time with people my own age but people who are parents I tend to get a long with more often so if they are my age and parents or older like my mom's age and have been parents I seem to get long with them better than people my own age. But younger people don't always have the life experience to understand that people are different.
Click to expand...

Which is sad because we're always told that we're the most "tolerant" generation in history.

Hilarious.
 
I wanted to mention this earlier but was responding to what Harpuia was saying. I tend to agree with Rolo in that we are not all the same and while there maybe a few characteristics or traits that are the same we are all different. It is a spectrum for a reason. I do not think that people can spot us per se. I think that we want to think that or that we give subtle hints that there may be something differing about us. I just think that we are not all the same and its hard to say that yes this is what makes us stick out because it could be any number of things and maybe its not even the AS that makes a person stick out either.
 
I agree. We are all different. I would rather be thought of as "different" than be ordinary. When I was young people called me weird. Now I have grown into being "eccentric". I refuse to be anything than what I am. If people can tell I have Aspergers so what.
 
Funny how it can go sometimes with labels: I have found that the more affluent (& the older) one becomes, the LESS likely people are to refer to you as weird. If you're working class or middle class, you're ODD. Then, if you become upper middle class to rich, you're ECCENTRIC. If you're wealthy AND at the top of your career, you're a VISIONARY!
 
its all about money, the more you have the more you can do with your screaming crazies, the more you can throw at an idea you have to show people it actually WOULD work
 
You are rights out that. It is all relative. I have not reached the visionary stage but at at least I am beyond weird. People are so biased....they are so quick to label someone as "odd" or "weird" unless, of course, that person has a little bit of money in which case it is okay to be different. We call them "eccentric". It doesn't really matter. They are all just labels that people put on things (and people) to make themselves feel better (or superior).
 
I think labels sometimes serve to give the labeller a sense of control & understanding over people, things & circumstances that, in truth, he knows bugger all about. It can look like this:

Labeller: "Those ______ are all a bunch of __________. <----BIGOT KIT: add desired group on the 1st line add pejorative, condescending or insulting 'pearl of wisdom' on line 2. VOILA! That's it in a nutshell. If enough like-minded people ascribe to your opinion, it is now an indisputable fact because EVERYBODY KNOWS IT.
 
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