How do aspies deal with isolation?

[rolo]

I have posted a thread in Are most guests neurotypical saying I am feeling low-but I have dealt with long periods of isolation since I can remember-However when I have had a bad turn, I may well isolate for weeks on end-sometimes it is by what some would term choice-I would argue that acute anxiety and fear, combined with depression is not a matter of choice. My isolation is deep rooted and I have no friends where I live. over the last decade I have been alone for around 98 percent of the time. I would like to hear about other peoples experience of this and how they have coped- I agree that Knowledge is power and certainly since my official diagnosis of Aspergers I have found it easier to accept my limitations and have endeavored to try and reach out to the world but I still struggle with this. I do not wish to live alone and would dearly love to be a father(maybe too late for that) and have a lifelong partner-this is much more difficult in your late forties for a multitude of reasons-(that is another post)

 

[Loomis]

Hello Rolo.

I liked your album pictures, especially the guy hanging from the ropes.

I have been married a long time, so it has been a while since I have been isolated. I do remember periods in my life when I was isolated, and it was depressing. In 1974 I was fired from a job. I felt discouraged and my self-esteem was at the lowest point of my life. I developed a speech impediment from the trauma and could only speak among people with great difficulty and with obvious strain in my voice. This made me extremely self-conscious and ashamed. I knew I had to do something so I went back to school. This speech problem was embarrassing for me in class when I had to respond. I do not remember how long it lasted but about eight months later I had a new job in a corporation and was bewildered, anxious and confused in this foreign environment. I still had great difficulty speaking to women I found attractive and my voice in these situations showed obvious anxiety. I found a good psychotherapist and also started taking medication for my anxiety. At that time the med of choice was Valium. I worked with this therapist for two years. This therapy was very directed. The therapist gave me assignments to do and they were difficult. I did not know I was autistic at that time, only that I was extremely anxious. Between the therapy and the meds I got better and eventually recovered from my speech impediment but I was nowhere near normal. I am still pretty messed up. My posts may make it seem like I am fine but it is an illusion created by all of the hard therapist directed work I have done to learn how to pretend be normal.

There have been times in my life when I was very isolated and had no friends. I went to bars. This was not a good choice for me. I was less isolated but it created other problems as you might imagine. I developed a drinking problem that lasted for the next 15 years.

Is there any therapy available that you can take advantage of? I found it helpful but not a cure-all for me since I have spent my entire adult life going from one therapist to another with many breaks between. Nevertheless I definitely feel the therapies have helped and that I am better off than if I had not had the therapy. And I still take meds for anxiety and depression which also help.

 

[Loomis]

At this very moment I am feeling very isolated because I have been sitting in this basement apartment for two days in an unfamiliar city and doing nothing but browse the internet and post stuff online. I am going a little batty and I know I should get out but I can't motivate myself to do anything.

 

[alien girl]

i never in my life and i'm 46, never had a long friendship, not one that lasted more than a month, and even then i'd feel frustrated by that person's presence more than liked it. i've never been in a relationship more than a one night stand and never had kids.
now i have my nieces. give me animals and send me to a remote island and i'll be fine. just cant give up on my nieces, though. if it wasn't for them, i'd be alone always, all the time, and it won't even bother me.

 

[rolo]

I spoke at length to a lady with Autism who gives talks-her take was that she deliberately provoked people to keep them away-she died not want to interact with them on a personal level. I do not want to be alone but know that I can survive a lone as i have done for many years-however if i had a choice i would want a partner in my life.I am working on it but its proving to be difficult.

 

[Indy]

I hope I don't sound patronising, but do you have any pets? I have gone days and days without human interaction but it hasn't been a problem because I have my dogs (and other pets) If I were alone, no dogs to talk to, interact with, take out for walks etc then I think I would become depressed quite quickly.

I didn't have many friends in school, made a few friends in college (perhaps two close friends) and now I have a small handful of friends that I adore. I am in the first year if university and they are in their final, so I am already worried about them leaving.

What hobbies do you have rolo?