I was diagnosed with Asperger’s two days ago and I feel lost and more depressed than usual. I am 16 years old and I never knew I had autism. I just can’t believe I went my whole life without knowing. Now that I look back on my life, my family and I should have known I have autism. There were little clues here and there, but those should have been enough to signal that something was wrong. Please help.
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Hi, welcome to AC.
Hi there Aryanna.
It's a hard time and a lot of regrets to get to know about AS late. Still, you're not your Asperger's. You're still yourself, the same person you were born and AS is just a part of the equation that you didn't know what to do with before. You'll do just fine, just give yourself a chance.
It's a hard time and a lot of regrets to get to know about AS late. Still, you're not your Asperger's. You're still yourself, the same person you were born and AS is just a part of the equation that you didn't know what to do with before. You'll do just fine, just give yourself a chance.
Hello and welcome, most of the people here are aspies and virtually everyone else here has partners, family or friends that are aspie. If you need any help, advise or wish to share any thoughts, this is a good friendly place to do so.
You don't have to think of Aspergers as a disability and there are also advantages, E.g. aspies are more often intelligent and can be very talented, especially at what is sometimes a special interest. There may be an initial shock of being diagnosed, but it is a positive thing that you know as with understanding you can learn to better control any less wanted traits and there should also be support available if you need it. Finally you still have your whole life ahead of you, many aspies live very fruitful lives and there's most definitely no reason why this diagnosis should hold you back from enjoying it.
You don't have to think of Aspergers as a disability and there are also advantages, E.g. aspies are more often intelligent and can be very talented, especially at what is sometimes a special interest. There may be an initial shock of being diagnosed, but it is a positive thing that you know as with understanding you can learn to better control any less wanted traits and there should also be support available if you need it. Finally you still have your whole life ahead of you, many aspies live very fruitful lives and there's most definitely no reason why this diagnosis should hold you back from enjoying it.
Welcome!
Don't feel bad about not knowing until now something that you didn't know.
You'll probably be seeing signs that you and your family missed for a few more months, and it takes time to accept that they were missed, or perhaps noticed but not given the attention they might have needed. But everything is always easier "in retrospect". I see it as looking at a full picture and wondering why you couldn't connect the dots; but the thing is, the dots were part of the picture and couldn't be seen until somebody says to look for them.
I saw so many more things after my diagnosis (still do, in fact), and while they look obvious now, when considered separately, they would not have been seen as more than eccentricity or rigid ways (also, I wasn't that different from my family, so sure, I diverged from the norm, but not from my family's norm because it turns out they're a bunch of Aspies on both sides, hence no way we could have thought something was up).
Here you'll find plenty of answers, plenty of people with similar experiences, or with slightly different experiences, and you'll be able to learn from the diversity of our profiles, just as we will probably learn from you. It is a welcoming, accepting, helpful place, really, and I'm sure it will be a great tool for you to adjust to having a name for an aspect of you that was there your entire life.
Don't feel bad about not knowing until now something that you didn't know.
You'll probably be seeing signs that you and your family missed for a few more months, and it takes time to accept that they were missed, or perhaps noticed but not given the attention they might have needed. But everything is always easier "in retrospect". I see it as looking at a full picture and wondering why you couldn't connect the dots; but the thing is, the dots were part of the picture and couldn't be seen until somebody says to look for them.
I saw so many more things after my diagnosis (still do, in fact), and while they look obvious now, when considered separately, they would not have been seen as more than eccentricity or rigid ways (also, I wasn't that different from my family, so sure, I diverged from the norm, but not from my family's norm because it turns out they're a bunch of Aspies on both sides, hence no way we could have thought something was up).
Here you'll find plenty of answers, plenty of people with similar experiences, or with slightly different experiences, and you'll be able to learn from the diversity of our profiles, just as we will probably learn from you. It is a welcoming, accepting, helpful place, really, and I'm sure it will be a great tool for you to adjust to having a name for an aspect of you that was there your entire life.
Welcome!
Your story isn't unusual, what with the signs that were missed, things that should have been caught but weren't. I've met literally hundreds of people with AS and a very small fraction of those were diagnosed as children. The rest of us were diagnosed at all different ages, from late teens to mid twenties and even in old age, if we bothered with a formal diagnosis and all the BS that comes with it at all.
It's definitely the kind of revelation that can rock your world, but think of it as the start of a journey of getting to know yourself like you never have before. This forum can be your biggest resource for that, I know it has been for me. Stick around, you'll like it here, it's not so bad being AS
Your story isn't unusual, what with the signs that were missed, things that should have been caught but weren't. I've met literally hundreds of people with AS and a very small fraction of those were diagnosed as children. The rest of us were diagnosed at all different ages, from late teens to mid twenties and even in old age, if we bothered with a formal diagnosis and all the BS that comes with it at all.
It's definitely the kind of revelation that can rock your world, but think of it as the start of a journey of getting to know yourself like you never have before. This forum can be your biggest resource for that, I know it has been for me. Stick around, you'll like it here, it's not so bad being AS
I hope you like it here There are so many variation of diagnosis here! There are many benefits from being diagnosed and many from not being diagnosed. Benefits from being diagnosed early, benefits from being diagnosed late.
What you might find to be there number one trait here is that people are so smart. People here help me figure things out in my life in ways even my therapist can't.
Welcome!
There are so many variation of diagnosis here! There are many benefits from being diagnosed and many from not being diagnosed. Benefits from being diagnosed early, benefits from being diagnosed late. What you might find to be there number one trait here is that people are so smart. People here help me figure things out in my life in ways even my therapist can't.
Welcome!
Welcome Aryanna! Once you post to a thread the site automatically turns on notifications for that thread. Therefore, everyone who posted before your second post should see the message you left saying thank you. Notifications will continue for all new posts unless turned off.
It’s ok to not know why you are sad. A good portion of the people on here have dealt with depression. I remember being severely depressed at the age of 15 and not knowing why. Try to keep your head up and don’t be afraid to reach out here for support. This site has some really awesome people, the best in my opinion.
It’s ok to not know why you are sad. A good portion of the people on here have dealt with depression. I remember being severely depressed at the age of 15 and not knowing why. Try to keep your head up and don’t be afraid to reach out here for support. This site has some really awesome people, the best in my opinion.
Pariah Dog
Well-Known Member
Hello and welcome. No need to despair about your autism diagnosis. I once remember reading that actor Sasha Baron Cohen advocates for autism as a "trait" rather than a "disability." A trait is a good way to put it. Compared to a NT you might trade social skills for higher intelligence. Find strength where others find themselves in a position of weakness, like spending long periods of time alone for example. You are more likely to be a very loyal person where being some degree of back stabbing snake is more common in the NT world. An autistic is a unique thing to be. You may see things from a point of view not possible from an NT.
You will find this community very accepting and open to wide ranges of discussion and ideas without too much intervention from the powers that be.
I'm not going to say "cheer up" or "don't be sad" as people may find that patronizing and can't just manipulate their feelings like a water tap. Just try to see the upsides of it. No matter what situation you find yourself in life, try to think "How can I turn this into a opportunity?" That is a mark of a successful person.
You will find this community very accepting and open to wide ranges of discussion and ideas without too much intervention from the powers that be.
I'm not going to say "cheer up" or "don't be sad" as people may find that patronizing and can't just manipulate their feelings like a water tap. Just try to see the upsides of it. No matter what situation you find yourself in life, try to think "How can I turn this into a opportunity?" That is a mark of a successful person.
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OlLiE
Well-Known Member
welcome, i only found out when i was about 40
as long as you can handle it, the plus side of learning later is that you have time to understand your limitations and find coping strategies that work for you without having to work or think within the confines of a label, the down side guess is that the sooner you learn the sooner you can grow to accept and appreciate yourself and focus on what makes you happy rather than fighting to adhere to the social norms
personally i like to think that i am in control of my life and my choices, i don't like having to conform to labels whether it is that of NT or ASD, neither is a guarantee of happiness nor a sentence to perpetual misery
as long as you can handle it, the plus side of learning later is that you have time to understand your limitations and find coping strategies that work for you without having to work or think within the confines of a label, the down side guess is that the sooner you learn the sooner you can grow to accept and appreciate yourself and focus on what makes you happy rather than fighting to adhere to the social norms
personally i like to think that i am in control of my life and my choices, i don't like having to conform to labels whether it is that of NT or ASD, neither is a guarantee of happiness nor a sentence to perpetual misery
Welcome Aryanna. I've just found out at age 67 so think of it as a positive to find out now. You have the opportunity to pursue a life which is more suited to your strengths and less focused on things you may not be so good at. I understand it probably came as a bit of a shock, it did to me too. But I would have lived my life quite differently if I'd known at your age. I hope you come to see it this way too once you get used to the idea.
Hello and welcome here.
I wasn't diagnosed until age 58 and it was at first a relief
to understand myself better then a bit of depression as it finally sank in about autism.
Nothing changed. I'm still me.
I think the stigma humans have put on certain things that they consider not the norm is what made me feel depressed.
Before if people found me quirky, not social, or thought I was just a jerk, well, that's just what they thought.
But now, knowing how labels can make people react is the hard part of acceptance.
What if they find out? I'll feel so embarassed or ashamed. etc.
And why? Because it seems more acceptable to be smart a** than someone with autism. What a world.
But that's the world.
And we put up with a lot of negativity whatever we are called in life. NT or ASD or whatever.
I wasn't diagnosed until age 58 and it was at first a relief
to understand myself better then a bit of depression as it finally sank in about autism.
Nothing changed. I'm still me.
I think the stigma humans have put on certain things that they consider not the norm is what made me feel depressed.
Before if people found me quirky, not social, or thought I was just a jerk, well, that's just what they thought.
But now, knowing how labels can make people react is the hard part of acceptance.
What if they find out? I'll feel so embarassed or ashamed. etc.
And why? Because it seems more acceptable to be smart a** than someone with autism. What a world.
But that's the world.
And we put up with a lot of negativity whatever we are called in life. NT or ASD or whatever.
xudo
something and nothing
Welcome
I see on your profile you mention you are are capable of empathy/sympathy and don't have speech problems, so question Autism. While empathy may be a problem for some of us, everyone with ASD is different, so some are overly empathetic or display empathy in the same way NT's do. In terms of speech problems, Asperger's diagnosis requires no delay in speech, so lack of speech problems would be normal.
Like I said, we all share diagnoses but no two of us are the same. Some have co-morbid conditions, some don't, some have learning problems and others don't.
I see on your profile you mention you are are capable of empathy/sympathy and don't have speech problems, so question Autism. While empathy may be a problem for some of us, everyone with ASD is different, so some are overly empathetic or display empathy in the same way NT's do. In terms of speech problems, Asperger's diagnosis requires no delay in speech, so lack of speech problems would be normal.
Like I said, we all share diagnoses but no two of us are the same. Some have co-morbid conditions, some don't, some have learning problems and others don't.
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