Hi- I'm a newbie to the forum, looking for help

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

LOL, you're fine. I'd just never heard it before. I do enjoy learning new things like that. Only problem is I get carried away at times a keep saying it over and over until I drive someone crazy. Thank you. I'm quite confident that I will get the diagnosis that will be needed in good time. My regular doctor is a PA so all she can do is refer me to someone rather than look herself. She too has recognized the symptoms in me. I've known her since her sister and my sister became friends. Ironically she lives right next to my dad. This forum is beyond amazing, I just can't get over it.

Good There are similarities I notice in you and I, besides liking passive activities and more isolation: You reply to most of the persons' messages who reply to you, and so do I. Not sure if this an Aspergers routine need, OCD sign, or just being thoughtful and nice. As well, you say you repeat phrases over and over again. I repeat things often in my mind over and over again, but not vocally. You seem to have more Aspergers signs than me, as I do not have motor issues, literal thinking, sensory issues, and more fixated interests, to name a few.

 

[JulianDG]

Good There are similarities I notice in you and I, besides liking passive activities and more isolation: You reply to most of the persons' messages who reply to you, and so do I. Not sure if this an Aspergers routine need, OCD sign, or just being thoughtful and nice. As well, you say you repeat phrases over and over again. I repeat things often in my mind over and over again, but not vocally. You seem to have more Aspergers signs than me, as I do not have motor issues, literal thinking, sensory issues, and more fixated interests, to name a few.

Right. My mom taught me to be polite when I was young before she and my dad got divorced. To be honest, replying to all people for me is a pattern issue. If I don't reply to everyone, I feel like nobody would fully understand all of me unless I get all of my words out. When I talk to my boss, I'll walk up to her office with a clear conscious (conscience/whichever, I always get the two mixed up) of what I'm going to say or ask, then when I open my mouth, nothing comes out. Like in a rap battle when the person "chokes." I've had a lot of bad habits repeating things vocally and on paper. In addition, here's another possibly unusual interest of mine...Spreadsheets. I hate numbers but when I see everything on a spreadsheet, it's different. It seems to open up a whole new world for me. Not 1 value is ever the same and you can continuously change the formats of the formulas until you're satisfied. A lot of individuals I know don't seem to understand Asperger's as well or as much as I have learned in the past couple of years. People think, okay it's just autism. Wrong! Asperger's like you said is more of a higher functioning or mild autism. My vocabulary is far more advanced than when I went through college. I did it to try it out and see if I could better myself, but I couldn't find a subject I liked so I dropped out.

 

[Jet Weiss]

I understand that. I didn't exactly delete my old one, I still have it because I have too many pictures on there but my previous supervisor sexually harassed me multiple times and me being unable to think for myself.

I am so sorry to hear that Social media can cause alot of problems it seems.

 

[JulianDG]

I am so sorry to hear that Social media can cause alot of problems it seems.

You've got that right 100%. I've always noticed issues with individuals going in an argument back and forth, whether it be Facebook or Instagram or even Snapchat. For that as well, I try to stay away from politics as I've had family tell me straight up that my ideas about politics didn't make sense. That hurt me worse than anything.

 

[Soona45]

Hello Julian welcome!
New here myself. Everyone does seem super friendly and supportive on here.
I'm too not used to forums and not good a reply at times.
I actually think I'm the other way round, I've just been diagnosed with aspergers but I've probably got Adhd aswell. My doctor told me there was no one in the area to diagnose me and when she sent a letter to the surrounding areas the all rejected to see me.
Oh well! Hope you enjoy your time here.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Right. My mom taught me to be polite when I was young before she and my dad got divorced. To be honest, replying to all people for me is a pattern issue. If I don't reply to everyone, I feel like nobody would fully understand all of me unless I get all of my words out. When I talk to my boss, I'll walk up to her office with a clear conscious (conscience/whichever, I always get the two mixed up) of what I'm going to say or ask, then when I open my mouth, nothing comes out. Like in a rap battle when the person "chokes." I've had a lot of bad habits repeating things vocally and on paper. In addition, here's another possibly unusual interest of mine...Spreadsheets. I hate numbers but when I see everything on a spreadsheet, it's different. It seems to open up a whole new world for me. Not 1 value is ever the same and you can continuously change the formats of the formulas until you're satisfied. A lot of individuals I know don't seem to understand Asperger's as well or as much as I have learned in the past couple of years. People think, okay it's just autism. Wrong! Asperger's like you said is more of a higher functioning or mild autism. My vocabulary is far more advanced than when I went through college. I did it to try it out and see if I could better myself, but I couldn't find a subject I liked so I dropped out.

For me it is hard to say why I reply to nearly all. Sometimes, I think it is because if they are nice or put forth the effort, then so should I. Then it became a habit for me to just do that. Other times I think it is some genetic issue or as environment conditioned me to be precise or perfect. Then sometimes I think, it is just natural for me to try to understand people, support or help, and to show that through replies. If there are too many replies to reply to, sometimes I though will just pick the post I relate most to to respond too, or try to be briefer, though that is hard as I like being detailed.

My wife gets "tongue tied" a lot. That means she has difficulty processing her thoughts because of either slower auditory processing, or semi-disorganized thoughts. She often repeats things too verbally because of that, as she has difficulty finding what to say. She is often general in her talk, or it may not relate to the question asked or comment made. For her that is one of the ways her ADHD manifests. She repeats things on paper too, as she forgets she wrote that before. She tends to be longer in writings, and lump paragraphs of different theme together, showing disorganization.

My wife hates numbers. I love numbers, and as I majored in math. She gets numbers mixed up when she writes them, and if asked to remember a number she gets the digits reversed. She needs me to do the banking stuff as a result. On her neuropsychological test she failed horribly at any number related question.

With regards to dropping out of courses you did not like, yes, that shows some interests are more important or needed by you, or it shows you get bored easily by things that do not interest you. That can be both Aspergers and ADHD, as you strongly prefer certain topics, or your mind is such you cannot concentrate on things that do not challenge your mind in the way you need. And you can sometimes hyperfocus on certain topics. I dropped courses for different reason. If they involved talking, as I had Social fear I often dropped them. Or if it involved lots of reading, as I have a need to reread things and remember details. It became too stressful those courses. That is partly why I chose lots of math classes too. Not much to read, but more things to analyze.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Hello Julian welcome!
New here myself. Everyone does seem super friendly and supportive on here.
I'm too not used to forums and not good a reply at times.
I actually think I'm the other way round, I've just been diagnosed with aspergers but I've probably got Adhd aswell. My doctor told me there was no one in the area to diagnose me and when she sent a letter to the surrounding areas the all rejected to see me.
Oh well! Hope you enjoy your time here.

Hi..For smaller population areas it can be hard to find a quality doctor specializing in ADHD, but any competent doctor should be able to diagnose that condition, whether psychologist, psychiatrist or even general family doctor. That is why I get frustrated at doctors sometimes. Many do not have the ability to analyze or diagnose things.

Many are book smart, but cannot ask appropriate questions, look deeper, and they have a hard time putting two and two together. Or do they lack confidence, or just not put forth the efforts? Sometimes I feel like saying to them, "Can you please have a seat, and give me your white coat." Then I will look in their ears, up their nose, ask them to stick their tongue out. Then I will say, "Everything looks fine, you can go now."

Seriously, is that all they do at medical school? It's as if in our local area pediatricians and family doctors are not trained to use common sense, analyze or evaluate for any mental health condition. We got so frustrated we had to drive three hours away to find one that evaluated for Autism for Dylan, and it took 25 years for my wife to be evaluated correctly for ADHD, and to get proper neuropsychological testing to diagnose that.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Aspie Quiz

That's a great quiz, I like the graphic.

When I was you I did research, reading, took online quizzes. Self diagnosing helped me learn tricks like recognising meltdowns.

Many here have sought official diagnosis for a number of reasons.

But only you can help yourself. What is it you are looking for?

My wife and I just took that Aspie quiz. Our results are very surprising to the least, regarding my wife and I.

Whereas I thought I would score way higher than her, as I am outwardly introverted and with some other Aspie traits, my wife actually scored way higher. According to the results below I am verily likely a neuotypical, whereas she very likely an Aspie. Our scores were reversed.

For David:

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 67 of 200.

Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 140 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical

For My wife

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 149 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 61 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

My wife has lots of ADHD and sensory issues, and more difficulty understanding people, so the reason she scored much higher. I do not think she necessary though is an Aspie either as her Aspie signs and symptoms can be explained by that other condition and other things. As well, she understands figurative language and idioms, too, and with no motor issues and less social difficulties.

So, mixed reviews for us about that test. I was leaning against me being an Aspie anyway, prior to taking the test, but we think the test mistakenly says she is likely an Aspie. Maybe an NT doctor created this test. I do not know.

 

[JulianDG]

Hello Julian welcome!
New here myself. Everyone does seem super friendly and supportive on here.
I'm too not used to forums and not good a reply at times.
I actually think I'm the other way round, I've just been diagnosed with aspergers but I've probably got Adhd aswell. My doctor told me there was no one in the area to diagnose me and when she sent a letter to the surrounding areas the all rejected to see me.
Oh well! Hope you enjoy your time here.

All rejected seeing you? That's horrible. I don't know what I'd do if I got rejected. It would break my heart. I'm sensitive enough as it is. I just hope I can find someone in my area that can help me.

 

[JulianDG]

My wife and I just took that Aspie quiz. Our results are very surprising to the least, regarding my wife and I.

Whereas I thought I would score way higher than her, as I am outwardly introverted and with some other Aspie traits, my wife actually scored way higher. According to the results below I am verily likely a neuotypical, whereas she very likely an Aspie. Our scores were reversed.

For David:

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 67 of 200.

Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 140 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical

For My wife

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 149 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 61 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

My wife has lots of ADHD and sensory issues, and more difficulty understanding people, so the reason she scored much higher. I do not think she necessary though is an Aspie either as her Aspie signs and symptoms can be explained by that other condition and other things. As well, she understands figurative language and idioms, too, and with no motor issues and less social difficulties.

So, mixed reviews for us about that test. I was leaning against me being an Aspie anyway, prior to taking the test, but we think the test mistakenly says she is likely an Aspie. Maybe an NT doctor created this test. I do not know.

That seems very likely to me as well. Some very odd questions on there too. My quiz showed "Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 158 of 200 Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 68 of 200 You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)" sorry about this reply being shorter. I'm taking something for my stomach, and it causes blurry vision beyond belief so I'm struggling to type

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

That seems very likely to me as well. Some very odd questions on there too. My quiz showed "Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 158 of 200 Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 68 of 200 You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)" sorry about this reply being shorter. I'm taking something for my stomach, and it causes blurry vision beyond belief so I'm struggling to type

Yes, but your motor issues, and literal issues, combined with excellent memory recall for those certain things you mentioned, along with those sensory issues you mentioned, those routines, fascinations, and things like that very well could bring you to being more Aspie than her.

 

[Bella Pines]

The way my thought process has always been, I've felt as though if I do in-fact have a disability other than ADHD or OCD, I wouldn't feel like I'm locked in a cage all the time. Again, I know that's not true either but it's just that mentality that I keep in the back of my mind on a daily basis that keeps me going on.

When I went through a period of feeling trapped a psychologist friend I knew offered a good exercise. I knew that I was no more trapped than everyone else, I just felt more stifled, like my very life was making me claustrophobic, like I was alone even in a crowd of people. So whenever I started to hyperventilate I closed my eyes and pictured a bird flying free from a cage. Just a quick glimpse. Sometimes many times a day. My life didn't change but somehow, training my brain not to panic eventually (after about 3 months) worked.

And I don't refer to myself as 'disabled', I call it hyper-abled.

 

[Bella Pines]

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 174 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 38 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

 

[Streetwise]

i think the reason in the UK is some areas have no n.h.s qualified therapists so the waiting lists are huge in the n .east we have a team in northumberland, they travel if you cant go to MORPETH .but cant understand after the government supposedly increased the budget that they are just not providing a service

All rejected seeing you? That's horrible. I don't know what I'd do if I got rejected. It would break my heart. I'm sensitive enough as it is. I just hope I can find someone in my area that can help me.

 

[Streetwise]

thanks for the visualisation

 

[Katleya]

I'm a little late, but welcome, Julian!
As you've probably seen by now, you've definitely come to the right place. I hope this helps you find the answers you're looking for --it certainly helped me, to the point I wish I had not waited to get my diagnosis before joining, but hey, we're all here now

 

[JulianDG]

I'm a little late, but welcome, Julian!
As you've probably seen by now, you've definitely come to the right place. I hope this helps you find the answers you're looking for --it certainly helped me, to the point I wish I had not waited to get my diagnosis before joining, but hey, we're all here now

Thank you. I feel very much at home here with everyone of you. ☺

 

[Katleya]

That would be because you are

 

[Streetwise]

Hey there, it's Julian.

I'm probably not as shy as some but I do feel as though I need some help. I am 26 years young and have been diagnosed in the early 90's as being ADHD/OCD. To my understanding, and someone please correct me if I am wrong on this, but I believe this was the timeframe in which individuals were being misdiagnosed as having the two mentioned. I struggle day to day with work. I want to go to school and get a better career but there's fear of not passing the class because I can't comprehend the subject matter; in addition, the teacher (professor) may put me with people I may not like or may not want to know. If I feel interested in a particular subject, and in my case Funeral Science, Anesthesiology or becoming a Locksmith, that I feel I cannot achieve...It will keep bouncing back and forth til I want to scream and pull my hair out. Other than those instances (just to name a few), I'm normally very talkative. I don't meet a stranger. My wife thinks that is extremely awkward of me to talk to every person I've ever met, though she doesn't know them. Communication is one of the biggest challenges in marriage, so much that at points, I have also self-harmed and have done extremely crazy things that I have no control over. Most of my family tends to think I have AS, as do I. My motor skills are underdeveloped so I am in other words a klutz. I have tics in my neck at times, especially when I am overwhelmed. I started noticing it in myself at a young age but I've never been able to control it. All of it scares me. I don't know where to go, who all to talk to or what to do for help. Most everyone on the thread here has probably been here for a while. I challenge everyone that has any suggestions for me (advice, etc.), to please come forward. I need answers to questions I haven't even thought of yet. God bless,

Thanks in advance
(also I have uploaded a picture based on some tests that I've taken, though not official yet as to where I might be placed on the spectrum).
View attachment 35037

 

[JulianDG]

View attachment 38983

Thank you so much. Ohh, I got my official diagnoses today too. Asperger's and Tourette's.