Help me prepare for my first therapy session?

[Trippy_Wonka]

So I’ve done therapy before but I’ve been looking for someone who can help me specifically with ADHD and autism. I found a therapist who has ADHD and says she likes to work with affirmative therapy so I’m hoping she’ll be able to help.

Problem is that I never really know what to say when I get into therapy. They say “how are you” I say “good how are you” I can’t unmask

I think it would help if I knew what I want to talk about. Impulsivity and social understanding are my two hot topics. It’s difficult for me, though, to articulate what it is that’s hard for me. Obviously that’s what therapy is for but I’m trying to use all the help options I have because self-care.

What is everyone else’s experience with therapy, especially the on boarding phase? How did you talk to your therapist about Autism and ADHD, rather than general anxiety. I always find therapy tends to be broader, and focuses on solutions that are really more designed for allistic people. Idk, any advice? Thoughts? Anecdotes?

 

[MNAus]

I wouldn't worry, it's their job to help you discuss things, not yours. You are free to walk in their, sit and 100% expect them to do whatever is required. They are the professional. Of course that doesn't mean you being obstructive, but you certainly don't need to think too much beforehand. If you do want to write some things down to help order your thoughts, that's great, but I didn't.

Think of it this way, do you walk into a restaurant and have the maitre d'hotel stand there and say "And?????"? No, they know the score, what they need to do, how to look after their customers.

I guarantee 90% of their clients will respond "Good, how are you?" or similar when they walk in. Maybe some respond with "Terrible" but I bet they are no easier to work with than the former. Personally I go on long rambling expeditions around my head in my sessions, it's up to the talent of the therapist to deal with that lot. I'm the one paying after all, I don't expect to need to tell the chef how to cook my meal.

 

[Aspychata]

I have had bad luck. My last therapist started telling about her failed relationship and felt maybe she might be on the spectrum.

 

[Au Naturel]

So I’ve done therapy before but I’ve been looking for someone who can help me specifically with ADHD and autism. I found a therapist who has ADHD and says she likes to work with affirmative therapy so I’m hoping she’ll be able to help.

Problem is that I never really know what to say when I get into therapy. They say “how are you” I say “good how are you” I can’t unmask

I think it would help if I knew what I want to talk about. Impulsivity and social understanding are my two hot topics. It’s difficult for me, though, to articulate what it is that’s hard for me. Obviously that’s what therapy is for but I’m trying to use all the help options I have because self-care.

What is everyone else’s experience with therapy, especially the on boarding phase? How did you talk to your therapist about Autism and ADHD, rather than general anxiety. I always find therapy tends to be broader, and focuses on solutions that are really more designed for allistic people. Idk, any advice? Thoughts? Anecdotes?

Don't prepare. Preparing means your therapist won't see the real you. They'll see a mask. If you have questions, write them down. Otherwise, let it happen and allow them to do their job. You are already anticipating incompetence.

 

[Rodafina]

They say “how are you”

Sometimes, I answer with, "I never know how to answer that question," or "I don't know." That is honest and it is information for the therapist. You don't have to perform in therapy (although I understand the desire to. It just that it will be more useful if you don't.)

I think it would help if I knew what I want to talk about.

Make a list. It's a good idea to write down things you want to discuss before you go into therapy, but it's equally helpful to be flexible and ready to go to unexpected places depending on where the conversation goes.

Impulsivity and social understanding are my two hot topics. It’s difficult for me, though, to articulate what it is that’s hard for me.

A reasonable thing to say would be, "I want to talk about impulsivity and social understanding, but it's really hard for me to articulate what the problems are." This opens the door for a therapist to ask questions and help you figure out how to discuss these things.

I always find therapy tends to be broader, and focuses on solutions that are really more designed for allistic people.

You can be candid about what solutions may not work for you, but also, try to be open minded as some solutions are worth trying. The best solutions will not be ones that are given to you, but ones that you have helped to create.

Good luck.

 

[Misty Avich]

I've had therapy sessions for my scopophobia. I wasn't sure what the aim was though, and I still have scopophobia.

Scopophobia is a fear of being stared at or judged by strangers in public. It's probably just a mixture of agoraphobia and social anxiety, caused by too many bad experiences I've had with strangers in public in the past, like being a target or being treated in unique ways by random people, even though I've always just minded my own business when in public.

I felt the therapy sessions weren't long enough. 50 minutes goes by extremely quickly, especially when talking in depth about my anxieties. I need about 3 hours a session, every day for a week.

 

[marc_101]

@Trippy_Wonka

Write down everything you want to say. I'd even copy-paste your message above. Write down everything you can think of. Then prioritize with a list as Rodafina suggested.

From what I can understand in your message, your have problems organizing, prioritizing, and remembering. So you might go blank during the session.

It doesn't need to be scripted. You can go to the session and see how things go, but if you start getting confused, you can show the person what you wrote and explain that you were concerned about forgetting.

In other words, a middle ground between @Au Naturel and @Rodafina

 

[Au Naturel]

I've had therapy sessions for my scopophobia. I wasn't sure what the aim was though, and I still have scopophobia.

Scopophobia is a fear of being stared at or judged by strangers in public. It's probably just a mixture of agoraphobia and social anxiety, caused by too many bad experiences I've had with strangers in public in the past, like being a target or being treated in unique ways by random people, even though I've always just minded my own business when in public.

I felt the therapy sessions weren't long enough. 50 minutes goes by extremely quickly, especially when talking in depth about my anxieties. I need about 3 hours a session, every day for a week.

Spotlight effect.

You’re Overthinking: The Spotlight Effect – Berkeley Scientific Journal

bsj.berkeley.edu

 

[Au Naturel]

@Trippy_Wonka

Write down everything you want to say. I'd even copy-paste your message above. Write down everything you can think of. Then prioritize with a list as Rodafina suggested.

From what I can understand in your message, your have problems organizing, prioritizing, and remembering. So you might go blank during the session.

It doesn't need to be scripted. You can go to the session and see how things go, but if you start getting confused, you can show the person what you wrote and explain that you were concerned about forgetting.

In other words, a middle ground between @Au Naturel and @Rodafina

My thinking is that going blank is important. "I just went blank on that." is useful information to the therapist.

 

[Misty Avich]

Spotlight effect.

You’re Overthinking: The Spotlight Effect – Berkeley Scientific Journal

bsj.berkeley.edu

I don't like that article, it called me egocentric.

 

[tree]

My thinking is that going blank is important. "I just went blank on that." is useful information to the therapist.

Saying that you've gone blank can be very useful information.

I've noticed that sometimes in a conversation if the topic is very important
or stressful to me, it vanishes. Just flies right out of my mind. Then I have
to trace back through what I was thinking. What led up to the vacancy
in my mind.

 

[tree]

I don't like that article, it called me egocentric.

The article didn't mention you by name.

It looks like you're interpreting 'egocentric' as an inherently bad thing,
with implications of evil selfishness. It's a description of a tendency
of thought.

The topic of the article is the spotlight effect.

"The spotlight effect has a wide range of implications in our daily lives. We may overthink, falsely assume, or futilely expect that others notice nuances in our actions and appearances. We may mistakenly believe that we are the target of other people’s actions—a tendency known as “self-as-target bias.” We may respond with inaction to opportunities we want to participate in, restrained by our inhibitions and worried about what others would think, or overestimate the impact of our actions."

You’re Overthinking: The Spotlight Effect – Berkeley Scientific Journal

bsj.berkeley.edu

 

[marc_101]

We're all egocentric

 

[Misty Avich]

The article didn't mention you by name.

It looks like you're interpreting 'egocentric' as an inherently bad thing,
with implications of evil selfishness. It's a description of a tendency
of thought.

The topic of the article is the spotlight effect.

"The spotlight effect has a wide range of implications in our daily lives. We may overthink, falsely assume, or futilely expect that others notice nuances in our actions and appearances. We may mistakenly believe that we are the target of other people’s actions—a tendency known as “self-as-target bias.” We may respond with inaction to opportunities we want to participate in, restrained by our inhibitions and worried about what others would think, or overestimate the impact of our actions."

You’re Overthinking: The Spotlight Effect – Berkeley Scientific Journal

bsj.berkeley.edu

I thought egocentric meant wanting attention to be drawn to oneself. I've also looked it up on Google and it's described as selfish, boastful and narcissistic.
Also, I feel bad for derailing someone else's thread on to myself, am I allowed to start a new thread about it?

 

[Au Naturel]

I thought egocentric meant wanting attention to be drawn to oneself. I've also looked it up on Google and it's described as selfish, boastful and narcissistic.
Also, I feel bad for derailing someone else's thread on to myself, am I allowed to start a new thread about it?

That is a very limited "pop" definition. If you lack an ego, you are well and truly messed up. Ditto if you have way too much. Balance and moderation matter. In psychology:

"The ego is the component of personality that strikes a realistic balance between the demands of the id's primal urges and the superego's moral conscience. Freud also believed that the ego relies on defense mechanisms (such as denial and repression) to protect us against anxiety and distress.

In everyday usage, the ego represents a sense of self-importance (think: "He has such a big ego!) Having a healthy ego means we can maintain a healthy sense of self, but an imbalance can lead to problems, including excessive self-centeredness."

- The Role Ego Plays in Your Personality

 

[Au Naturel]

Saying that you've gone blank can be very useful information.

I've noticed that sometimes in a conversation if the topic is very important
or stressful to me, it vanishes. Just flies right out of my mind. Then I have
to trace back through what I was thinking. What led up to the vacancy
in my mind.

Going blank is part of my "deer in the headlights" reaction to suddenly being confronted emotionally aggressively. It doesn't happen much these days, but when I was younger, I'd be confronted out of the blue by an authority of some sort who would demand that I "explain myself." My brain would go blank, and I literally couldn't move. My lack of response was either interpreted as being no explanation was possible or I was totally impertinent and didn't care.

An explanation wasn't really wanted, or they wouldn't have already decided to be angry. Nor would they suddenly have sprung it on me without warning. It was just a confrontational technique to put me at a disadvantage.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I am personally familiar with the "blank" and "deer in the headlights" phenomena. The only reason I don't experience them as much now is my interaction with others is so limited. I am careful not to expose myself to situations in which those experiences may arise.