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Hello

Maybe I should just tell the therapist to give me an official diagnosis test, probably better so I can stop obsessing and ripping my wounds open. Yeah, that is his job, I think I will just say that to him tomorrow I meet up with him, once a week now.
 
Sorry for rambling about that stuff I just say what is on my mind sometimes....speak my thoughts and it makes no sense to others. Sorry
 
Lola_Daydream said:
Yeah I read that it said that you will not have all of them.
I do think I have enough of them though to qualify.
It has just been rough this past week because I have done some intense self examination of my past, childhood, and my behaviours trying to diagnosis myself here.
I introspection a lot, but not to this extent because honestly I hate looking inwards at myself. Because I hate what I see...it makes me feel like shutting down. Yet I kind of have to go within and work this out if I want things to change for the better. So it is really uncomfortable toped off with my obsessive impulse. I feel honestly like shutting down today...I don't feel well at all.
I think I am trying to hard to understand something so big so fast.
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That's a shame. Hopefully talking on here will help to being these issues out for you. I hope you're able to find a way that works for you.
 
Vanilla
Thanks I am okay, I just think I need to take a break I feel like I will shutdown if I don't. It has helped a lot actually already.
It is is just I guess all this information, all the past wounds remembering, reliving, all the what if's, and what could have's, all the challenges ahead, just to much at once.
To much for me to process and feel at one time. So I am feeling like I could shutdown today
 
You don't have to process all of it & you don't have to process it at once. Do it in bite sized portions that you find manageable. If something proves to be too much on a given day, then drop it. That simple.You have gone all this time, taking it in small steps will not cause you any harm whereas overwhelming yourself might trigger some setbacks. Go at your own pace.
 
Soup said:
You don't have to process all of it & you don't have to process it at once. Do it in bite sized portions that you find manageable. If something proves to be too much on a given day, then drop it. That simple.You have gone all this time, taking it in small steps will not cause you any harm whereas overwhelming yourself might trigger some setbacks. Go at your own pace.
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It is the dropping it that is my difficulty. Once my mind locks on to something it is like prying the jaws of an alligator open.
I am doing things to stay busy today, it works to some degree, and just being mute.
Yeah I need to relax I have lived 35 years this way. I am just facing other problems in life as well and it is all tied in together. I have had some really stressful stuff happen this year, and it has just pushed me to the breaking point. Why I sought out a new therapist in the first place, because just a Dr was not enough to help me at this point. Was a year ago, but now I need help again.
I am gonna go take a hot shower and try to calm down, my anxiety today is just out of control.
Thanks for your advice you are right, same with my personal issues, one little bit at a time.
Thanks for the advice....and help today I needed that.:)
 
Lola_Daydream said:
Vanilla
Thanks I am okay, I just think I need to take a break I feel like I will shutdown if I don't. It has helped a lot actually already.
It is is just I guess all this information, all the past wounds remembering, reliving, all the what if's, and what could have's, all the challenges ahead, just to much at once.
To much for me to process and feel at one time. So I am feeling like I could shutdown today
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Yes, just take your time. Give yourself a balance.
 
Vanilla
Yes your right I need balance, something that does not come naturally to me.
I am going to go try to focus on my writing or other hobby a little today. Try to get some balance by focusing on something else.
Thank you so much for your kindness and help. Everyone here is just so kind and nice....a bunch of kind loving souls here
 
Well it is official, saw my therapist today. I am diagnosed High functioning Autism (the current term they are using now for Aspergers he said, but it is the same thing.) With mood disorder unspecified yet.Exception of bipolar 2.
 
Lola_Daydream said:
Not sure what the last bit means still about the exception, I will have to ask him again. I didn't't get it.
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hmm, not sure sorry. Let us know when you find out though. I'd be interested. I know very little about bipolar.
 
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