1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Featured Five Love Languages Quiz

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by Cali Cat, May 11, 2016.

  1. Cali Cat

    Cali Cat Femme Ferale

    Messages:
    1,294
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Karma:
    +2,682
    I took this quiz, and it got me to wondering how much being on the spectrum affects the way we express and recognize "love" in our daily lives. Typically, one expresses love in the same way one expects others to express it, and this can lead to misunderstandings if two people don't speak the same love language.

    If you have the desire, please take the quiz and post your results. I'm curious to know if there is a pattern. I don't want to skew potential data, so I will wait before disclosing my results.

    http://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/story.php?title=whats-your-love-langugae
     
    • Informative Informative x 2
  2. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    30,041
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2013
    Karma:
    +19,619
    About the instrument:
    There was a typo on #25.
    I'd have been happier if the quiz didn't pace me.
    I'd rather not have to wait for the quiz to go to the next question.
    3/4s of the choices were pretty obvious.
    It wasn't a bad instrument, though.


    [​IMG]
    You got: Acts of Service


    Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Informative Informative x 1
  3. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,829
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +25,676
    In all honesty this quiz made me quite uncomfortable. One too many questions where neither option really seemed to apply.

    Made me feel like I was in a dodge ball game where I was being thrown either being gifted or physically touched. Subjects for me that require further elaboration in their individual context on rather than on a broad and conditional basis. :eek:

    I can say on a practical and real level that romance has never come as easily as affection and sex have. It's too complicated for me to explain within the confines of such a structured test.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2016
    • Agree Agree x 6
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Vinca

    Vinca Speaking through Pictures V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    4,887
    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2014
    Karma:
    +7,483
    There were quite a lot of questions where neither statement was true for me, in these cases I answerd 'B', as I like the letter 'B' better than the letter 'A', so I'm not sure how accurate the answer will be.

    You got: Quality Time

    In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Creative Creative x 1
  5. Cali Cat

    Cali Cat Femme Ferale

    Messages:
    1,294
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Karma:
    +2,682
    I had some trouble with that myself, but decided to answer the questions in such a way as to choose the lesser of two evils as it were.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. Cali Cat

    Cali Cat Femme Ferale

    Messages:
    1,294
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Karma:
    +2,682
    In those cases, I just chose the answer that seemed either "more" applicable to me, or the least offensive.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
  7. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,829
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +25,676

    Understood. ;)

    I feel a little self-conscious in not completing it...but I have one rule in life I've had since my teens. I never allow myself to be put on the spot if I can help it. How I relate to an affectionate touch or receiving a gift...it really depends on the circumstances and the person in question. I guess I'm complicated. :oops:

    But my failure to retain relationships long-term speaks volumes....with or without test results. Though up until I began to interact in this forum, I realized that in my entire life I never expressed just how awkward I often feel over receiving gifts in general.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2016
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  8. Cali Cat

    Cali Cat Femme Ferale

    Messages:
    1,294
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Karma:
    +2,682
    Interesting ... I see a pattern already, but too soon to tell for sure. It may also have something to do with the type of personality that is willing to participate in such a test.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Informative Informative x 1
  9. Cali Cat

    Cali Cat Femme Ferale

    Messages:
    1,294
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Karma:
    +2,682
    Aren't we all. :)

    Not a problem, Judge. I'm just curious and gathering data to either prove or disprove my hypothesis.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,829
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +25,676
    Well, I think there were certain "social graces" involved which are likely consistent or not with people on the spectrum. That things like constant touch or receiving gifts don't hold validation compared to acts of service. Am I in the ballpark?

    That those on the spectrum seek deeper forms of validating their relationships with others than superficial gestures.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  11. Lena_C

    Lena_C The Girl Who Knew Too Much

    Messages:
    426
    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2015
    Karma:
    +1,111
    Hmm, can I have them all? :rolleyes:
    Touch or not to touch really depends on my state.

    [​IMG]
    You got: Quality Time

    In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Useful Useful x 1
  12. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,829
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +25,676
    It's a very frustrating thing to know we're very deep thinkers emotionally speaking. However because we don't outwardly acknowledge things through superficial gestures, our intent or sentiment is easily misunderstood. o_O

    We speak a different language in terms of communication. But also a different language in terms of love.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  13. Cali Cat

    Cali Cat Femme Ferale

    Messages:
    1,294
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Karma:
    +2,682
    Pretty much, yeah.

    I got Acts of Service as well, as did a few people IRL who I suspect are on the spectrum too.

    Also, Quality Time seems to be a close second.

    For myself, I know touching too much can be downright annoying, and gifts are nice, but they don't come close to substituting for time and attention or practical help. It's a little bit funny, but giving gifts, to me, is almost like a "payoff" to get out of doing something more substantial. If I really like someone, I'd rather have them over for lunch than buy a gift.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  14. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,829
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +25,676
    I hate to admit it...even here. Feel awkward telling others that touching me can at times be VERY awkward...for both those who touch me as well as myself. I can't especially explain it in any detail, but rather only that it's how I may feel at any given time. I freely admit I can run hot and cold and it can be daunting for NTs to understand it.

    Gifts...so awkward. Perhaps because more often than not, someone gives me something I do not want or need. The gesture is appreciated, but not the gift itself. Awkward. o_O

    Quality time and acts of service....that I can relate to. :)
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
  15. Cali Cat

    Cali Cat Femme Ferale

    Messages:
    1,294
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Karma:
    +2,682
    I believe that is maybe the most profound aspect of HFA. I've rarely met an Aspie who did not think deeply about everything. I suppose there may be some shallow Aspies, but I haven't personally encountered any so far.

    It is a pity that for all our inner consideration, we lack the "appropriate" means of expression to be fully understood.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  16. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,829
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +25,676
    Oh my. Ain't that the truth. I think it's one of those traits that allows me to put off NTs rather easily. They want to discuss something by the inch....and I'm going on an on by the mile about it. And in attempting to "cull" the conversation...it makes me feel phony and out of place. Lose-lose in another day of autism. :(
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  17. Cali Cat

    Cali Cat Femme Ferale

    Messages:
    1,294
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Karma:
    +2,682
    I understand that. I run hot and cold too, though I admit more cold the older I get. Nowadays, I need to be prepared for touching. I literally jump if someone touches me by surprise. That used to cause my ex to feel I wasn't as attracted to him anymore.

    It sure is complicated :eek:
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  18. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,829
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +25,676
    Me too. My mother would do that all the time. Just wish I got paid each time she said, "I just don't understand you". :eek:
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  19. Lena_C

    Lena_C The Girl Who Knew Too Much

    Messages:
    426
    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2015
    Karma:
    +1,111
    well, sometimes a random gift without any reason, saying "just thinking of you" is romantic.
    But who on earth will appreciate this every day??? Ah, maybe NT will.
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
  20. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,829
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +25,676
    Strange...I just thought of a scene in a movie ("Contact"). Where Matthew McConaughey gives Jodie Foster a toy compass from a box of Crackerjax. Yet it becomes a token of great meaning to her.

     
    • Like Like x 2