Extremely Secretive

[Judge]

Let's just say that I often may sound like I'm very transparent when I'm really not at all. By design.

So when "my walls" go up they don't notice so easily. It's a coping mechanism for me. Another type of "mask" I suppose. So the outside world doesn't necessarily see how I do or don't relate to it.

But then just admitting this must mean I'm not quite as secretive as I think....lol.

 

[Gingerlass27]

I do tend to do a lot of the things others have mentioned here. I'm not keen on people looking at/using my belongings etc.

I also tend not to share information with others. Not sure if this is solely related to being secretive or partly that I either don't think to tell others things or that I don't see the point in doing so.

 

[Elemental]

I'm agitated by my stuff being moved partly because I am absent minded enough already, just dealing with a known quantity haha. I actively try to put in control strategies like: same place, same item, to help me relocate stuff & I have general storage routines too, so if any of that gets messed up unexpectedly it's uncomfortable & sometimes I resent a perceived intrusion in situations like that. I can be pathological about privacy sometimes but other times try to remember that autism-acuteness needs tolerance.

 

[clg114]

I do not think that I'm secretive at all, although a lot of people think that I am. The thing is, I do not talk much. If I do not have anything to say, I do not say anything.

 

[Judge]

I do not think that I'm secretive at all, although a lot of people think that I am. The thing is, I do not talk much. If I do not have anything to say, I do not say anything.

That's always been an impression of mine. That if you don't say enough, people get weird about it....almost suspicious.

But what if you really have nothing to say?

 

[BlueConundrum]

I am the same way. I get extremely paranoid about people having access to my possessions if I'm not there to supervise. I wouldn't want someone to come over and take care of my cat if I went away. I'd be SO uncomfortable. I don't even like people looking at my bookshelf. Once a roommate went into my bedroom to borrow my boom box because her stereo broke. I FLIPPED OUT. I have a friend who wanted me to join last.fm, but I never did because I didn't want people to look at my music collection. I don't like people knowing how I spend my time. I mentioned something to an acquaintance about how I had an apartment inspection and how I had to stay home, and she said "They can't steal anything because they're being supervised." I didn't think anyone would steal. I just didn't want them looking at my stuff! And no, I don't have anything terrible or illegal.

I also disagree with Dale Carnegie. Unless I need to refer to a person to distinguish them from other people or I'm trying to get someone's attention, I almost never say anyone's name. When someone says a name over and over, it seems creepy to me.

 

[Judge]

I am the same way. I get extremely paranoid about people having access to my possessions if I'm not there to supervise.

Having been the victim of criminal theft it left me with a very different mindset when it comes to security.

 

[Datura]

This is why I'm anti-social. And lost one job for slapping a guy that kept grabbing me inappropriately.

This makes me so angry! I have heard of the exact same thing happening to other women. There seems to be an unwritten code that all female bodies should be publicly accessible to men at all times. But dare to stand up for your own autonomy? "No, that's just not acceptable." *gerr*

It's funny because I don't see myself as secretive in any way, but, I asked an aquaintance yesterday about it and they said people thought I was secretive. Odd.

Maybe they just don't understand you and therefore presume you must be hiding something. I think I might present the same way to my co-workers because I show no interest in the things they think I should be interested in, like finding a boyfriend, or going to sporting events.


Personally; I don't think I am all that terretorial. I don't leave anything out in the open at home that I don't mind other people seeing. If somebody started snooping through my drawers, then I think I would be upset, but this has never happened.

I can be very secretive about certain things though. There are aspects of my personality that many people would find objectionable, so I hide them. Most people don't need to know that I am a queer atheist with weird interests and possible Asperger's, so I don't tell them, and make sure that information isn't freely available.

 

[Progster]

I'm a very private person in that I don't like talking about my personal life or my feelings. On Facebook, I haven't included personal details such as relationship status, family, etc. I don't mind people looking at my things if they've been invited to my house. If fact, I really love it if they take an interest in my CD collection or my books, because they are things I enjoy talking about

 

[illud]

As a writer I'm extremelly secretive to the point I have different pen-names for most of my stories (e.g. a name for horror stories, a name for poetry, a name for plays, a name for detective stories). Mostly because I value my privacy a lot. I don't like to share my stories until I find they are "finished". In fact it took me a while to share (allow someone else to read) my first writings.

Same with "my stuff", I don't like people to touch them, mostly because they would put them in some other place and it'll be hard for me to find them.
When I was in school when a classmate would ask for a pen or something I would lend them the item but as soon as I'd see they move to chat to the other side of the room leaving my stuff unattended I'd stand and pick it up myself. I know my classmates found that very weird.

 

[Beverly]

I'm the same, not that I have any dirty secrets that haven't already gotten out but I treasure my privacy.

I snap at even my husband when he asked what I'm doing on the computer and, get snarky with him with something like "Looking at the screen. What's it matter to you anyway? It isn't your damned computer."

If someone tries to look over my shoulder when I'm doing something, I snap at them for it and walk away. "You want to make sure it's done right so badly - you do it!"

I'm fine if they watch form in front of me, but not behind me, that and, being asked what I'm doing, where I'm going, etc.. when whatever I am doing or wherever I am going doesn't affect them gets to me more than it probably should.

 

[Dryope]

Yes -- I feel like Lisbeth Salander half the time. I don't have a secret apartment but man...that would be nice.

By the way, illud, as an adult I try to be sharing with my stuff...but no one does ever return anything. So if I loan something to someone these days, I consider it a gift. (I'm breaking my hoarding ways and getting rid of a lot of what I own, so this is a good way to find things a good home. But I lost a lot of stuff I liked learning the lesson that once loaned, things would never be returned.)

 

[ASD_Geek]

I am the same way and feel very territorial about my stuff. It's not that I'm trying to hide anything, I just like my privacy.

There was one time my boss needed something at work and I had left for the day so he went through my desk drawers and found a jar of cream which is for dry skin and later joked with me on the phone about the jar saying that it was "penetrating cream". I was mortified.

There was another time when I was a teen that a doctor was giving me a physical and I asked him to close the window curtains in the room (this was the third floor and faced a parking lot) because I was naked. He said, "what's the matter? Afraid a helicopter can see in?" Again, I was mortified.

Aside from all that though, I just don't like others knowing my business, I guess.

 

[AHugNKiss]

So much of what has been said throughout the thread resonates HARD.

Let's just say most of what has been mentioned applies to me (except... wait. You willingly INVITE people over, Progster?! I'm more with the previous poster who doesn't invite anyone and will wriggle out of anyone inviting themselves even if it means telling a small lie (and I HATE lies so it's like being caught between a rock and a hard place - definitely can't win :/ Luckily, people have pretty much given up waiting for invites/inviting themselves)).

In addition, yesterday, as I wrote a comment to one of my online friends on their facebook, my husband flopped down next to me and glanced at the screen. My hackles went up and I had to fight down the irrational feeling that he was snooping at my screen - *particularly* as a) I am never saying ANYTHING that needs hiding from him and b) it was about to appear in his newsfeed anyway! But that feeling of being watched as I wrote it was unbearable, like he was glimpsing something I wasn't prepared to show. Very odd.

 

[kevin mao]

So, I suppose I could be called "extremely secretive" verging on paranoid. This might just be a me-thing and not necessarily an aspie-thing, but I was just wondering.

For example, I can get really territorial over my things and don't want anyone to do anything to any of my stuff. No touching, moving, or worst of all - rummaging through or reading through. Now let me put this straight, I don't have any "bad things" that I'm trying to keep secret or whatever. I'm just super private and touchy about my stuff -- my "work," as I call it (hobbies, research, or homework).

I abhor when someone tries to read what I'm writing, or intrudes upon an unfinished project. But if I protest their "intrusion of my privacy" then they think I'm hiding something and will do it even more to satisfy their curiosity. Or they think I'm weird for not wanting to come eat with them or talk to them or do whatever it is they think normal people should do.

In short, I'm very territorial, private, and withdrawn. I'm slightly paranoid that people will intrude upon my privacy, resulting in me having to explain stuff to them if and when they ask. Like I said, I don't know if this is common or not, but I thought I'd put it out there if anyone can relate?

I've been that way for 3 years. It is a normal behaviour

 

[nyxjord]

Yesssss!!! I hate it when people go through my stuff! And I do think it is a territory thing! It's not that I have anything bad- it's that it is my stuff and if I want people to go through it or read it, then I'll give them permission to do that. Until then, I expect my stuff to be left alone!

 

[kevin mao]

Yesssss!!! I hate it when people go through my stuff! And I do think it is a territory thing! It's not that I have anything bad- it's that it is my stuff and if I want people to go through it or read it, then I'll give them permission to do that. Until then, I expect my stuff to be left alone!

same here. I hate it when people touch my stuff without my permission. privacy is important to me

 

[BigTimber]

I'm very secretive. I hate talking about myself and I hate when people are in my space, such as my room. If I had a house, I'd probably hate people being there too. I'm always worried that I left something out or I'm being judged. I compensate for it by adopting a minimalist sense of style and always having a clean living space. I still get anxiety about it, but it's much less than if I had a busy living area.

I honestly wish I wasn't so uptight about it, but the feeling is hard to fight and be reasoned with.

 

[Harry1965]

I'm not secretive, I actually love talking with people (which is not an aspie trait at all) but I hate people using my stuff. Even if I can see they have a genuine need (like they have to write something and I'm holding the only pen around) I'll offer it secretly despising that they are using my stuff. I don't understand why but I hate it so much. Even when it's family.

 

[Harry1965]

It's so weird!