Extremely Secretive

[Kit Hunter]

So, I suppose I could be called "extremely secretive" verging on paranoid. This might just be a me-thing and not necessarily an aspie-thing, but I was just wondering.

For example, I can get really territorial over my things and don't want anyone to do anything to any of my stuff. No touching, moving, or worst of all - rummaging through or reading through. Now let me put this straight, I don't have any "bad things" that I'm trying to keep secret or whatever. I'm just super private and touchy about my stuff -- my "work," as I call it (hobbies, research, or homework).

I abhor when someone tries to read what I'm writing, or intrudes upon an unfinished project. But if I protest their "intrusion of my privacy" then they think I'm hiding something and will do it even more to satisfy their curiosity. Or they think I'm weird for not wanting to come eat with them or talk to them or do whatever it is they think normal people should do.

In short, I'm very territorial, private, and withdrawn. I'm slightly paranoid that people will intrude upon my privacy, resulting in me having to explain stuff to them if and when they ask. Like I said, I don't know if this is common or not, but I thought I'd put it out there if anyone can relate?

 

[watersprite]

Yes, indeed. I've always been that way.

 

[Suzanne]

I tend to be similar. My husband is always moaning that we should have both our things together and I REALLY bulk at that.

It manifests itself mentally, rather than out loud.

One thing I cannot cope with is someone reading from something, I am yet to read.

I treasure me things

 

[KinksFan]

I've also been that way my entire life. While in college, I had a frienemy who'd invite herself to my house. I was living with my parents at the time. She started flipping through my vinyl records to see what music I liked and what type of person I was in general. With each record she looked at, I was thinking in my mind "You're not supposed to know that about me!" I was at the very end of my hippie facade, so I didn't have any Kinks music at the time.

 

[Sully]

I'm the same way. I haven't even told my wife that I think I'm aspie. Most of my family probably couldn't say what my interests are. I don't have my phone password protected so it doesn't look like I'm hiding anything, but the Tapatalk app on my phone is password protected so no one can see my interactions on this forum. My computer and Kindle are both locked. My life exists in two different dimensions. Entities from one dimension can't interact with the other. The last two sentences probably make me seem really strange.

 

[grommet]

Kit I am exactly the same way - all of the things you mentioned. I think it may be aspie, I don't know. If other people touch my things it's like they are touching my body and also, afterwards it's like they left themselves on the thing they touched. Sometimes I can't keep the thing after someone else has handled it. I am okay with public things, something we are all supposed to share but not my personal things. I don't like people even coming in to my home. The whole place feels like it is a part of me and I don't want them inside me. I need privacy whether I want it or not.

 

[umbrellabeach]

I'm like that too, mostly because I've been teased and/or criticized (or generally gotten unwanted comments) so much for even the most trivial of things in the past, even things like my food choices. People are so nosy that I feel the need to hide everything.

 

[JKG]

Yeah, I can relate to this, too. My partner often offers to help me organize my office or help me go through boxes in storage. But I don't want anyone else going through or moving my stuff. And I like to have just-me things, too.

I really don't like anything in my personal spacial areas to be moved or changed unless I do it (which I don't very often). It is like those things help anchor me to myself and to the world somehow. If they get moved, I feel unmoored.

 

[Ylva]

I abhor when someone tries to read what I'm writing, or intrudes upon an unfinished project.

Yep. And those same people have the nerve to call me rude.

 

[IrishAspie]

Yep. And those same people have the nerve to call me rude.

I'm a little like that, I hate people knowing about what I'm doing...IT privacy is a big thing for me.
This account for example is under a seperate email....cant really explain why but I kinda panic a bit thinking people could read this and know who I really was, I guess its because I've been so closed off for so many years.
For years I posted on a well known forum using a different email..name..and had a whole persona with it...people I knew in real life posted there too.
Yeah...I'm weird

 

[AsheSkyler]

Quite. I am very territorial and aggressive about my privacy. Not that I don't want to explain, it's that they're just rude. I don't go through their house and criticise their methods, what right do they have to do that to me? Common courtesy, nobody has any common courtesy...

One thing people get extra pissy about is how much access they have to your mind and body. I have learned you must routinely divulge your deepest thoughts and secrets, make every last bit of your body available to them at their beck, call, and whim, and under no circumstances are you ever allowed to do the same. This is why I'm anti-social. And lost one job for slapping a guy that kept grabbing me inappropriately.

 

[Axeman52]

I am exactly the same and always have been, I would elaborate a little but I would essentially just be rehashing the original post.

 

[watersprite]

Part of the reason I chose to live where I do is privacy. I have to get ready long in advance when someone notifies me that they are going to visit - (invites themselves). In certain cases I have been known to tell an un-truth and politely say that I already made other plans and won't be around at scheduled the date and time.

 

[look]

Ive had this more as ive gotten older, i dont like it if people see what tv show im watching and have to change the tv over although there is nothing wrong with that show.

 

[Berianireth]

I'm the same way. I joke that I border on being schizophrenic, not that having schizoprhenia is any funnier than being aspergers. I think between the sensory issues, OCD, and generalized anxiety the secretive paranoid behavior is sorta just explained away. I'm not really hiding anything and not entirely sure what is bothering me when I go into defensive most of the time.

 

[Harrison]

It's funny because I don't see myself as secretive in any way, but, I asked an aquaintance yesterday about it and they said people thought I was secretive. Odd.

 

[tree]

I don't think of myself as secretive at all.
Other people like to tell me things that they don't want other people to know, though.

 

[Dryope]

Yes, I have the same tendencies as other people here. For a long time, I didn't like people seeing my drawings or hearing me sing. I've been working on that.

I have a confession about my weirdness: I can't stand to hear other people say my name. My NAME. Dale Carnegie says I'm supposed to love that, but I resent it.

I actually had to leave a private autism group just because they had been innocently talking about me. It freaked me out too much. (AsheSkyler, you were in that group -- sorry for being odd in that situation. :0 )

 

[tree]

I have a confession about my weirdness: I can't stand to hear other people say my name. My NAME. Dale Carnegie says I'm supposed to love that, but I resent it. )

I don't care for anyone to call me by my given name.
Some people have thought that meant they need to give me a nickname.
It didn't.

I feel like using a name for me to me is like talking to a dog.
'Here, Rex. Roll over. Up boy. Good Rex.'

I don't want to be talked to as if I were a dog.

My given name seems to me to be yellow & white gingham,
while I feel that I am a solid color. It doesn't represent me well.
It is an idea other people had.

I don't know what 'real' name would be adequate.
"Tree" works well enough.

 

[Greg]

I am the same way. I don't like for anyone to mess with my stuff. I don't like when things are moved in my house or any of my personal spaces. Paranoia is a problem for me as well. Most of the time I am paranoid that I am being watched. Not for sure why anyone would care but that doesn't stop me.