Hello everyone,
I'll start by saying that I believe my fiance has AS. Although not officially diagnosed, he fits the criteria, and I've always felt like there was something different about him that made him socially awkward. He said growing up, his parents have brought him to psychologists and they never could find out what was going on with him. Anyways, we've been dating since about a year and half ago, and got engaged this year. He's an unbelievably sweet guy, and 90% of the time, everything is wonderful. Everything is wonderful, when it's just me and him.
I'm more extroverted than he is, and I have a big group of friends that I see regularly, that I've always seen regularly. He's started hanging out with us for the last year and a half, and majority of the time, it's been difficult. For example, I've had to chase him down because he thinks I was trying to get away from him when I wasn't, he's upset my friends on numerous occasions because of things he's said, he would either A) want to leave early or B) get drunk to loosen up but always gets so wasted that he throws up, and the list goes on.
And that is just when we're with people. When I want to go out to see my friends without him, he's constantly texting me, asking for updates when I haven't even switched locations, questions who I'm with even when I tell him who I'm with, he also constantly asks me that I'm not going to cheat or end up with some other guy, and again, the list goes on.
I should probably add, that he doesn't think he has a lot of close friends, if any. On top of that, he doesn't make much of an effort to see the ones he has or keep in touch. So it's hard to relate to each other with that fact. I try to encourage him in his friendships, but it doesn't work.
Lately it's been getting to the point where I don't feel like going out and seeing my friends because of the hassle I know it'll cause with him. I love him and I'm completely faithful to him. But with everything I mentioned, I just don't know how to move forward. I'm sure there's ways I could help with easing him in with my friends, or times when I want to see them. I know it's not a bad thing to want to hang out with my friends, but he makes me feel like it is, and makes me feel like I have to choose. I've been feeling so alone in all of this. Up until now, my friends and I thought he would just "get used to it." But I don't think that's the case, and I need to learn everything I possibly can because he's such a great guy, and fiance. I just wish he brought out that personality he shows me around my friends, cause I know they'd enjoy that. I didn't know what else to do except to come here and ask people who I hope would understand. So, Aspies Central, any advice on what I could do?
I'll start by saying that I believe my fiance has AS. Although not officially diagnosed, he fits the criteria, and I've always felt like there was something different about him that made him socially awkward. He said growing up, his parents have brought him to psychologists and they never could find out what was going on with him. Anyways, we've been dating since about a year and half ago, and got engaged this year. He's an unbelievably sweet guy, and 90% of the time, everything is wonderful. Everything is wonderful, when it's just me and him.
I'm more extroverted than he is, and I have a big group of friends that I see regularly, that I've always seen regularly. He's started hanging out with us for the last year and a half, and majority of the time, it's been difficult. For example, I've had to chase him down because he thinks I was trying to get away from him when I wasn't, he's upset my friends on numerous occasions because of things he's said, he would either A) want to leave early or B) get drunk to loosen up but always gets so wasted that he throws up, and the list goes on.
And that is just when we're with people. When I want to go out to see my friends without him, he's constantly texting me, asking for updates when I haven't even switched locations, questions who I'm with even when I tell him who I'm with, he also constantly asks me that I'm not going to cheat or end up with some other guy, and again, the list goes on.
I should probably add, that he doesn't think he has a lot of close friends, if any. On top of that, he doesn't make much of an effort to see the ones he has or keep in touch. So it's hard to relate to each other with that fact. I try to encourage him in his friendships, but it doesn't work.
Lately it's been getting to the point where I don't feel like going out and seeing my friends because of the hassle I know it'll cause with him. I love him and I'm completely faithful to him. But with everything I mentioned, I just don't know how to move forward. I'm sure there's ways I could help with easing him in with my friends, or times when I want to see them. I know it's not a bad thing to want to hang out with my friends, but he makes me feel like it is, and makes me feel like I have to choose. I've been feeling so alone in all of this. Up until now, my friends and I thought he would just "get used to it." But I don't think that's the case, and I need to learn everything I possibly can because he's such a great guy, and fiance. I just wish he brought out that personality he shows me around my friends, cause I know they'd enjoy that. I didn't know what else to do except to come here and ask people who I hope would understand. So, Aspies Central, any advice on what I could do?