"Embarassing loved ones" ?

[Juturna]

It's only recently that I've remembered that this is a thing. I don't really understand it - I understand it's supposed to be some sort of bonding?

For instance, the other day my floormate told me her brothers embrass her and she embrasses them because "they're family". I was like "lol okay whatever you guys want I guess." but I really don't get it? She told my mum (who came to visit) that she gets to do that to me because she's my mother?

Forgive me, but I see that as rude? My mother in question was talking about my childhoos, which she knows I don't like (mainly because life sucked and I'd rather disconnect from the fact I was a kid yada yada) and I didn't say anything, but I really do hate it?

Like why is embarassing family members a thing? Why do you purposely go out of your way to embrass people you love when they're trying to be social? (Or in some cases just happen to be social?) Or maybe it's them explaining why they're talking about childhood experiences or etc?

Iuno if I care about others doing it, just towards me is when I get irked. And if I say something I get told to lighten up, so I guess I don't care.

Does anybody do this? Or not understand it? I wanna know everybodys thoughts on the topic ^^;

 

[photoaddict]

I guess it depends what exactly she means by it? My brother and I have joked about how the other is embarrassing, but we don't set out to embarrass each other. It's more things like, when he's going on and on about the movie he just saw, I pretend I've never met him before, even though it's obvious we're related (we could be twins). He's done the same to me when I'm "embarrassing" to him. But neither of us is doing whatever embarrassing thing to cause trouble for the other. We're just being ourselves and laughing when it bothers the other person.

At the same time, I tease my brother. A lot. He's easy to tease. A lot of people bully him. Their intent is different from mine. I've been known to say, "I can say ___ because he's my brother, but you better not ever say that again!" When I say he's annoying, he knows I still love him and am just feeling annoyed in the moment. When other people say he's annoying, it hurts because he knows they're annoyed by everything that makes him who he is. Basically, there's a safety within our relationship that allows for teasing and jokes, while random people don't have that, so it can hurt.

I think a big key with my brother and me is that we know what really bugs the other and would *never* tease or joke about those things. I would never, in a million years, call him stupid or remind him of times he screwed up because I know how much that hurts him. I laugh about the things that he can laugh about. The same goes for him. He knows not to joke about my weight, but he's welcome to say something about my hair that never cooperates. Your mom crossed a line by willingly talking about something that upsets you.

 

[Cali Cat]

I understand it, but I don't like it. It's teasing. It's trying to get a person to laugh at themselves. It's like telling someone: "Don't take yourself so seriously." When someone who loves you does it, it's suppose to be "cute" or something. I don't like it. I think it's rude because it often comes with no warning. What if someone isn't in the mood to laugh at themselves right then? Basically, I believe life is hard enough and you get enough crap from others that you don't need to get it at home from family too.

 

[photoaddict]

In my family, teasing comes when we're in a goofy mood, so everyone is already laughing. For most of us, we've found that if we can't laugh at ourselves, we can't survive, so we don't mind. We're the kind of people who can trip over our own feet and say, "well look at me! I'm soooo graceful!" It's not fair to tease someone who doesn't like it, though.

 

[King_Oni]

I joke around about people if I'm among them quite a lot. I like to joke around, and if that's embarrassing, so be it. Perhaps the strongest argument I have why I do it is; I don't know how strangers would respond.

Though it doesn't mean everyone will be subjected to an onslaught of witty banter and remarks. I seemingly have timing pretty much right and know when the mood calls for some joking around.

 

[Ylva]

To summarise, it is a power demonstration. It says: "I know all these weird intimate things about you and I can discuss them with outsiders if I want because I am your parent so I decide. Just like when you were three."

I don't often hate my parents, but whenever they do this I get very close.

With siblings it's quite different, but that's mostly because we don't tell other people stories from each others' childhoods.

I take nothing personally if I can help it, and I usually can. I realise that they do it because of themselves. The reason it is incredibly annoying is that it affects how other people are towards me.

 

[Daniela]

I think its to mess arround you becouse its funny, but they do it becouse they think you dont mind....at least thats what I think, Like I sometimes coment of how I am short and stuff. So it became a thing in my friends to call me shorty our to mess around like look out you gonna hit that signal! " But then I laugh about it our I get a litle mad and they laugh, but they never mean harm. And when they see that I´m becoming realy mad they stop. So...maybe its this?

 

[AsheSkyler]

I understand the accidental stuff or things that come strictly from an age gap, like a parent discussing disturbing bodily functions with another parent and the kids are mortified with TMI. But I'm not a fan of intentional embarrassment and ridicule, I'm thankful my mom agrees and has always avoided it. And wouldn't ya know it we both get criticized for being respectful to one another?