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dr atwood on NT/AS marriages

Ste11aeres

Well-Known Member
I really liked this video and wanted to share it.
Dr Atwood is great. He's one of those rare NTs who is understanding, accepting, and who gets us.
 
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It's an interesting comment that Dr Atwood says that people in AS/AS relationships often don't need counselling. I met someone recently who has Klinefelter's Syndrome and has numerous traits consistent with AS. His view is that AS/AS relationships are not a good idea because both partners have the same weaknesses. It's a good point and one I hadn't considered before. I've been in an AS/AS marriage, which was a complete disaster and neither of us knew that we have AS. I ended a relationship earlier this year with someone else I strongly suspect has AS. He is so self-focused and unreliable and he cannot understand why his friendships and relationships don't last for long. He also has major tactile issues which he didn't mention and there was no evidence of such a problem before we got into bed, so it was an extremely unpleasant experience. Although I do have some mild tactile issues, I don't have any problems being touched by a partner. Skin against skin is actually a really big turn on for me so it was incredibly disappointing to find myself with someone who doesn't want to be touched at all. So we may be "on the same planet" but I think it would be hard to have a successful AS/AS relationship unless both people accept that they have AS and take appropriate steps to ensure that they are meeting each other's needs.
 
I think it really depends on the AS/AS couple. I have two exes with AS one whom I'm friends with to this day and another that ended horribly so much so that the effects are still felt two years later (he still harasses my partner, bitches about me online etc).

My partner (whom I've been with since March 2012) also has AS and I realised that the reason he and I work so well together is because we're more on the same wave length. We're both affectionate, extroverted, eccentric and share a lot of the same interests as well as having the same circle of friends (through whom we met). When you have commonalities outside of having AS I think THAT'S when you're on the same "planet" so to speak.
 
I find AS people impossible to deal with on a day to say basis, but NT's don't understand me and I don't get along with them.
In my adult years I've not met any AS women, and any of the ones I met online who I felt I could somehow gel with lived far, far away and... well I don't have that kind of money or time
Personally from what I have seen in relationships its all garbage, and I don't think love and passion are things I will feel.
I mean I think I have been in love, not that I found it pleasant because with those thoughts comes the all to real thoughts of "she will never feel the same, because you're broken"
and to them I am.
None of the women I have been involved with or interested in had AS or knew what it was, I was just messed up to them.
Not that they would have taken the whole AS thing any better (probably worse). I certainly don't believe in that "someone for everyone" nonsense, much like I don't believe in a heaven or a loving God.
Humanity is cruel, like life itself
 
Well, this sort of made me want to share this awesomely adorable video about an Asperger/autistic-couple <3

 
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