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Doubt I have austism at all now

SailorMars1994

SailorMars1994

Well-Known Member
Hey its been a super long times since I have been on this forum. To be honest, latley I am doubting I have autism at all even though i was diagnoised and I have had a couple people tell me they do think I have some mild form of it. My doubts that could disprove are:

I can do eye-contact. Somehow. I do recall for the longest time I couldnt for whatever reason, then i guess somehow I pushed myself or something to do so and I have been able to it seems.

I think i am good enough (?) with social ques. But I am unsure. I used to have a hard issue with them until enough people snapped at me over a lot of things and I think i have become over-sensitive to how I act. Then again, when in a social situation I tend to babble on if comfortable enough to the point I wont know if someone is annoyed until sometimes too late or if it is alreay heavily implied.

I love making friends

I am actually ok and talking to people (interview, meeting for house,ect) but that is largely by invisioning myself not so much as someone else, but mimicking someone else in a fake coinfidence I guess you could say. For example a interviwer asks me a question I ''take'' on the ''confidence'' that someone I knew would, had I not molded this I would be kinda stunned on what to do.

Things that support diagnosis?

I do seem to have limited and fixed interests. I have been heavily involved into politics (so much so I could name like all Presidents of American and Prime Ministers of Canada before I could tie my shoes, around age 13 to 15). I live for it, if I dont read something about it or even see an opinion poll I find I get a bit annoyed. I also have routines of some type that I follow each day or I get aggitated or what not.

I have a tendency to talk non-stop for hours about thinks most people dont care about without fully realizing they dont care. One of my friends who I saw pointed this out something.. I talked about the Alaskan Malamute dog non-stop when I thought they may have been intersted, over long periods of time and days when infact they were not at all. And similar things. So I guess more fixations

It has been discribed I have sensory issues, but these issues seem to be on my imideate body and if I see like too much leg hair I feel this sensory feeling hard core that produces extreme anxiety which had in the past lead to meltdowns that I had no idea would have predictablly happened.

Reviewing things I care less about idil chit chat and more about logical things that actually matter. I guess I could care less about what happened on survior when more pressing matters are out there that need to be discussed. To a large degree talking about TV shows or even video games I could care less about when I could be debating the Constituion, governmental affairs, religion, society ,ect. And often, I can go hours to a full day talking about those thing non-stop.However, I can only do something like that if it is something I genunily like, and by that I mean LIKE. Something I care less about kills my attentiion quickly. I mean no disrespect but I dont care about certian things and at time I can be overly blunt about it when I dont want to be rude. I am also good with my verbal speech if that means anything what so ever.

I have found I have gotten ''hooked'' on certian words and expressions from what I have heard and incorporated them into my daily way of talking. Some of these things I have heard years ago and one could still hear me saying then frequently.

In addition to love making friends I am super anxious about meeting new people at the same time.

In addition I moved recently and found that this new time zone change (just one hour) actually annoyed me greatly. If that even matter, and even though life should be better here it is still a bit hard.



However, I am also good with I guess disassociating (not sure if right word) hard feelings, as if I felt all those feelings I would have massive meltdowns probably.

I just dont know. Maybe I am on the ASD? or maybe I am just so different I am nothing at all to anyone but my own mess of oddness. I dont know. What do you say
 
This probably doesnt matter whatsoever but I have had, and still have a things for numbers and years and dates... obsessivley so maybe even one could say. idont know but I like them.. my fav numbers that have some stupid special meaning to me are 27 and 34 for what it matters :D
 
Sounds like you have some good coping mechanisms/skills. A lot can be accomplished through awareness and passion.

ASD is a neurological condition, which indicates that the brain is wired differently and processes information differently. Layers of coping mechanisms can help to fit in and mimic being normal - though the way the brain is wired does not change over time.
 
Yea.. im not ''normal'' at all. Most of my life has been an act to avoid being different, however my 'differentness'' seems to come out at some point. Especially when I feel comfortable.

I saw this somewhere:

Persons with autism may also exhibit some of the following traits:

  • Insistence on sameness; resistance to change
  • Difficulty in expressing needs, using gestures or pointing instead of words
  • Repeating words or phrases in place of normal, responsive language
  • Laughing (and/or crying) for no apparent reason showing distress for reasons not apparent to others
  • Preference to being alone; aloof manner
  • Tantrums
  • Difficulty in mixing with others
  • Not wanting to cuddle or be cuddled
  • Little or no eye contact
  • Unresponsive to normal teaching methods
  • Sustained odd play
  • Spinning objects
  • Obsessive attachment to objects
  • Apparent over-sensitivity or under-sensitivity to pain
  • No real fears of danger
  • Noticeable physical over-activity or extreme under-activity
  • Uneven gross fine motor skills
  • Non responsive to verbal cues; acts as if deaf, although hearing tests in normal range.


    To a very large degree, i do have a lot of this. Some not at all, but on many things so much.. too much.
 
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I'm newly diagnosed. In mid 30s. Female.
Still researching.
What you list and describe sounds similar to me. My psyc says "no one would guess you have autism" due largely in part to how females cope with it. Apparently I've done a stellar job of concealing it for 35 years.

We are often quiet and mimic to fit in. It appears a big cue is whether we feel a sense of self identity. Or do we feel we are a sum of those around us...what we have picked up from society...who we look up to in movies or books or magazines. We can be obsessive and socially unaware and are prone to falling prey to manipulative persons due to missing or misinterpreting subtle social cues.. body language and the like.

Most research I've read is aimed at severe autism in children..and males. An undiagnosed adult has assimilated already and therefore has masked the more obvious traits ... or has a mild version of them..it is after all a spectrum. One may not exhibit the majority of traits but enough of them for it to cause daily issues.

Do more research about females with aspergers. Speak to a psychologist if you can who is versed in ASD.

Remember ... the diagnosis isn't important. Whether you are or aren't on the spectrum...find what works to make you happy with who you are.
 
Lady Penelope said:
I'm newly diagnosed. In mid 30s. Female.
Still researching.
What you list and describe sounds similar to me. My psyc says "no one would guess you have autism" due largely in part to how females cope with it. Apparently I've done a steller job of concealing it for 35 years.

We are often quiet and mimic to fit in. It appears a big cue is whether we feel a sense of self identity. Or do we feel we are a sum of those around us...what we have picked up from society...who we look up to in movies or books or magazines. We can be obsessive and socially unaware and are prone to falling prey to manipulative persons due to missing or misinterpreting subtle social cues.. body language and the like.

Most research I've read is aimed at severe autism in children..and males. An undiagnosed adult has assimilated already and therefore has masked the more obvious traits ... or has a mild version of them..it is afterall a spectrum. One may not exhibit the majority of traits but enough of them for it to cause daily issues.

Do more research about females with aspergers. Speak to a psychologist if you can who is versed in ASD.

Remember ... the diagnosis isn't important. Whether you are or aren't on the spectrum...find what works to make you happy with who you are.
Click to expand...

Wow!! This works so much for me!! and makes me feel a bit better. See, its not that I wanna be on the spectrum, but the thing is I was diagnosised with it and it makes sense to a large degree. But there are other things that stand out that have pointed doubts at times. But what you just posted sounds so much more true for me. My diagnosis was nowhere close to the sever side but rather very mild in comparssion to others. But still, noteable differences with me an ''average'' persons. Thanks <3
 
You don't have to have all the traits to be an aspie and it's is also possible to be good at dealing with them and to improve at doing so. Different aspies will often show varying levels of different traits, some may not obviously show up at all while others may be much more pronounced. My brother has severe autism to the level where he can't count to 5 and will need 24/7 care for the rest of his life, yet he has very good coordination and is excellent at controlling a football on his own (sadly he is unable to grasp the rules of football or play as part of a team - note: UK football is also better known as soccer in the USA). I am a diagnosed Aspie (diagnosed with autism at a very young age in the 1970s along with both brothers and with Asperger Syndrome in more recent years), yet I passed my driving test when I was still 17 (the youngest legal age to drive in the UK) and drove daily for a few decades without having a single accident (I sadly can't drive now due to a sleep disorder). We are all unique whether aspie or not.

If you haven't already done so you could try some online tests, but only use the results for your own information as no online tests provide an official diagnosis and they should never replace a professional opinion.

Please see Aspie Quiz and/or Aspie tests for some of the popular online tests. If you are still unsure you could also ask for another professional opinion.
 
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Sounds a lot like ASC to me. But I'm no psychologist. I can just about manage the eye contact stuff on 1 to 1 but slip into looking at another part of the face when it get stressful. In a group forget it.

At least with an interest in politics there is always something new happening. You would like Radio 4 if you lived over here!
 
You meet an aspie....you meet and aspie lol

I do not have a bland face nor a montoned voice. I am a very enthusiastic person and love the notion of having friends; accept I do not trust making friends, because most of the time, they tire of me and in truth, I cannot be bothered to keep up the contact; when I am not sure if the like is there.

I d, however have at least one friend and that is probably, because we are so similar and she is a bit on the spectrum; but mostly NT. She does not think me strange; but hey, she is "strange" and so, we are "normal"

When I learned finally why eye contact was so terrible for me, I taught myself to look. I have good and bad days. I mainly prefer to look, because I hate being rude.

I both need routine and hate routine. If things go out of whack, I can't deal with it; but the mundanity of it all, can cause me to go out of whack too.

I am having it drummed in me too, how I should be; but of course, they are all NT's and so, to them I am just being complicated.
 
I would assume that being on the spectrum does not mean you cannot learn social behaviour. At the end of the day it's just a question of defining indicators of social states and attaching behavioral expectations of certain predefined social contexts. That's what I've done, and it works most of the time.

I guess for me to a certain extent it's about:
- it doesn't come naturally, I have to make a conscious effort to fake it
- faking it consumes an enormous amount of energy
- if i go beyond may energy reserves and am trapped in a social environment, I feel the need to run because i can't maintain the facade, I can't help becoming unpleasant
- my compulsion to finish collections, love numbers and order, can't stand changing plans, take things literally gets me into trouble
etc

At the end of the day when people hit rock bottom, some people look for the emotional benefits of companionship to get out of it and some people need solitude and lack of emotional stimuli to recuperate - I know that's not a definition of being on the spectrum, but I do think that is a fundamental difference between people.
 
SailorMars1994 said:
Hey its been a super long times since I have been on this forum. To be honest, latley I am doubting I have autism at all even though i was diagnoised and I have had a couple people tell me they do think I have some mild form of it. My doubts that could disprove are:

I can do eye-contact. Somehow. I do recall for the longest time I couldnt for whatever reason, then i guess somehow I pushed myself or something to do so and I have been able to it seems.

I think i am good enough (?) with social ques. But I am unsure. I used to have a hard issue with them until enough people snapped at me over a lot of things and I think i have become over-sensitive to how I act. Then again, when in a social situation I tend to babble on if comfortable enough to the point I wont know if someone is annoyed until sometimes too late or if it is alreay heavily implied.

I love making friends

I am actually ok and talking to people (interview, meeting for house,ect) but that is largely by invisioning myself not so much as someone else, but mimicking someone else in a fake coinfidence I guess you could say. For example a interviwer asks me a question I ''take'' on the ''confidence'' that someone I knew would, had I not molded this I would be kinda stunned on what to do.

Things that support diagnosis?

I do seem to have limited and fixed interests. I have been heavily involved into politics (so much so I could name like all Presidents of American and Prime Ministers of Canada before I could tie my shoes, around age 13 to 15). I live for it, if I dont read something about it or even see an opinion poll I find I get a bit annoyed. I also have routines of some type that I follow each day or I get aggitated or what not.

I have a tendency to talk non-stop for hours about thinks most people dont care about without fully realizing they dont care. One of my friends who I saw pointed this out something.. I talked about the Alaskan Malamute dog non-stop when I thought they may have been intersted, over long periods of time and days when infact they were not at all. And similar things. So I guess more fixations

It has been discribed I have sensory issues, but these issues seem to be on my imideate body and if I see like too much leg hair I feel this sensory feeling hard core that produces extreme anxiety which had in the past lead to meltdowns that I had no idea would have predictablly happened.

Reviewing things I care less about idil chit chat and more about logical things that actually matter. I guess I could care less about what happened on survior when more pressing matters are out there that need to be discussed. To a large degree talking about TV shows or even video games I could care less about when I could be debating the Constituion, governmental affairs, religion, society ,ect. And often, I can go hours to a full day talking about those thing non-stop.However, I can only do something like that if it is something I genunily like, and by that I mean LIKE. Something I care less about kills my attentiion quickly. I mean no disrespect but I dont care about certian things and at time I can be overly blunt about it when I dont want to be rude. I am also good with my verbal speech if that means anything what so ever.

I have found I have gotten ''hooked'' on certian words and expressions from what I have heard and incorporated them into my daily way of talking. Some of these things I have heard years ago and one could still hear me saying then frequently.

In addition to love making friends I am super anxious about meeting new people at the same time.

In addition I moved recently and found that this new time zone change (just one hour) actually annoyed me greatly. If that even matter, and even though life should be better here it is still a bit hard.



However, I am also good with I guess disassociating (not sure if right word) hard feelings, as if I felt all those feelings I would have massive meltdowns probably.

I just dont know. Maybe I am on the ASD? or maybe I am just so different I am nothing at all to anyone but my own mess of oddness. I dont know. What do you say
Click to expand...

I was all up into this confusion. Was Dxed a while back but with the new DSM they said no. There are specific things they are looking for now. However, I was genetically tested at a teaching hospital. Karyotying, and they found duplicaton on Chromosome 6. THIS is actually more descriptive of what I have. AND I do believe that in the near future, "Autism" will be replaced by more specific dx'es like Chromosomal Syndromes. Mine cause sensory, food, sleep and hyperactive issues as well as a host of other things. HOWEVER, the geneticists believe it is not just the C6 but environemntal as well. Complex stuff. But makes sense. Add a good dose of DDT onto a C6 duplicaton and BINGO. You now have an OKRAD! By the way, I am the ONLY OKRAD in the world at present! :) No one with this specific duplication.
 
I don't think I could explain it better than Keigan, Lady Penelope and the other members, but I feel that based on your description, the diagnosis is accurate and the good news is, you are able to cope rather well with some of the particularities, which is very encouraging!
ASD doesn't have to be full-blown, nor does it have to be a multiple answer test where you tick the boxes for all of the traits. I think it's great if you are a bit less socially impaired, it will alleviate some of the challenges. Meanwhile, having the diagnosis can help you understand certain things about the way you are or the way you think, and keep you from feeling guilty about not being like everybody else, or feeling that something is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong, you're just not as common as most people ;)
 
Thank you everyone. I recalled getting that Autism Spectrum diagnosis in November 2009 and around spring 2010, specifically April I went to do group thereapy thingy. The odd thing that seperates me is that the other kids who where there, largely my age was so element of I guess understanding. In social situation when I am around new people I seem to have a limited control of how to act. Either hyper-ish excited which many of my quirks come out or a fake-ish calm and collective which as times progresses diminsihes and my more real self comes out quick. The other kids there seemed to act as near-typical for pople with ASD/ASC. I would pretend in a way to be not like them, but in truth I knew I was very similar much like them. If that makes sense. I guess I just have the gift to summer up energy to look typical to others until it naturally comes undone..
 
moonchild22 said:
You couldn't tie your shoes until the age of 13-15? :openmouth:
Click to expand...

This shouldn't really be a surprise. I had to learn an alternate technique, then Velcro fasteners came out, then I was about 14 before I was able to use the traditional technique.
 
moonchild22 said:
You couldn't tie your shoes until the age of 13-15? :openmouth:
Click to expand...

I don't think it's that unusual, but it is probably indicative of having issues with motor skills. I technically learned how to tie my shoes when I was six, but it was the wrong way and they would come undone every two seconds. I didn't learn how to properly tie my shoes until I was in seventh grade.
 
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