Don't know what to do

[ismee]

So, i met this guy in my home town. He's like 4 years younger than me, I really really like him. I stayed the night with him at new years eve ( no sex , only kissing ). The day after i asked him if he liked me too and he said yes i like you but not enough ( he responded only after a vew days!!) , so i asked him if he wanted to be friends with benefits becasue i want him in my life so bad no matter what or how, and then he got mad about that question, says its inappropiate and said no. But on the other side, he keeps sending me snaps/messeges and likes my pictures on instagram. He doesnt want me but he does? i dont really understand. Any advise ??

Sorry for the bad english im from the Netherlands

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

So he doesn't want a relationship, and he doesn't want to have sex. So either he wants to be friends (without benefits) or he just enjoys the attention. If he is 18 he is probably rather mentally immature and inexperienced and so may not realise that he is giving mixed messages. Take him at his word that he's not into you, and if you are not ok with being just friends block him.

 

[Sarah S]

I agree with the above. You need to accept the fact that this is probaly not going to happen and walk away im afraid. Boys at this age are generally NOT mature so expecting this from them at this age is not a good idea. They are many times very lost them self in sudenly becomed a grown up and desparatly trying to find there way in this new world of young adulthood.

 

[Judge]

I don't see many 18 year old males being up to the task of "friends with benefits" as well.

Personally that's one of those phrases I wouldn't recommend ever using. It implies you aren't necessarily looking for love in a relationship, but merely sex. Something that may have turned him off completely, or actually intimidated him. Difficult to say. Certainly a lot- maybe just too much for an 18 year old to contemplate.

For some such a proposition might be like winning the lottery. However for others truly looking for love and a relationship, I suspect they'd just turn you down cold.

 

[Bolletje]

I think you should be glad he was honest in his answer. He likes you, but he doesn’t want a relationship or a friends with benefits arrangement. I guess he keeps communicating with you because he likes you as a person. I think it’s time to figure out if you can deal with a platonic relationship with this guy, or whether your feelings make this too difficult for you.

As for your English, niks op aan te merken

 

[Bolletje]

It implies you aren't necessarily looking for love in a relationship, but merely sex.

Not necessarily, because the ‘friends’ bit is there too. Otherwise it’s just a regular hookup. I would never consider a FWB arrangement with someone I don’t enjoy spending time with with my clothes on. For me it’s always been about companionship and sex without any expectations of a long-term commitment or an official status.

 

[Judge]

Not necessarily, because the ‘friends’ bit is there too. Otherwise it’s just a regular hookup. I would never consider a FWB arrangement with someone I don’t enjoy spending time with with my clothes on. For me it’s always been about companionship and sex without any expectations of a long-term commitment or an official status.

Point taken. Though I suppose it may also depend on whether or not both of their sense of morals are on the same page as well. And whether or not such differences can limit or inhibit real friendship.

I'm always impressed with those who have intensely contrasting beliefs who can somehow make their relationship work, whether as friends or a married couple.