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Featured Does anyone project great vulnerabilty?

Discussion in 'PDD-NOS, Social Anxiety and Others' started by Edward764, Jul 5, 2019.

  1. Rectify

    Rectify Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It's hard to know what is the ideal reaction and how things would turn out, isn't it?

    Btw I used to do step classes. I really liked them a lot. The music was always good. I'm a member of a gym now but they only have a few step classes to choose from. I might try and make one or two in the future.
     
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  2. Rexi

    Rexi uwu owo uwu SlightlyFilterless Atheist Science=<3 V.I.P Member

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    cant you report it to a gym teacher? there must be a system in place for people who do these things
     
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  3. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I project under-confidence and lack assertiveness, which makes me appear to be vulnerable, but that doesn't mean that I am. If pushed I can and will defend myself, there's only so much I can take before I snap and retaliate. I was bullied as a child, but also had some ferocious meltdowns, which meant that many would-be bullies kept their distance. A lot of the bullying came from my siblings, not just from school. As an adult, I've been in situations where work colleagues have ganged up on me to push me out, using my under-confidence and inability to effectively handle the situation as a means to strengthen their own social position, then, when I retaliate or defend myself, that's when the problems really start, because they have the power and backing, and I don't - its me against all of them.
     
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  4. Edward764

    Edward764 Well-Known Member

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    I am fortunate, that unlike school, I was never bullied at work, although some co-workers would express displeasure at my incompetence.
    At work, one must formulate rational responses to deal with others and to avoid physical confrontation.
    At school one would be suspended at worst, at work one could be fired.

    I was also bullied at my old small apartment. My neighbor was a former gang member who blast music so loud through the thin walls it could be heard down the street,
    I confronted him twice politely. The first time he sneered and just closed the door. At a later date I confronted him again and he said " it is not 10:00 bro".
    A third time I asked the landlord who lived on the other side, " Doesn't that bother you"? He replied." I don't hear it in my bedroom". His bedroom, unlike mine was on the far side.
    After 21 years, the owners threw me out of this small eight unit apartment for no reason. but the gang member next to me, and the wife abuser under me, who was carried away once in handcuffs, got to stay.
    I put up with this crap for one reason: cheap rent.
     
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  5. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I only ever fought back once, and I got detention. :eek:
     
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  6. sisselcakes

    sisselcakes Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Wow. Your story is harrowing! I’m so sorry you went through that experience as a teenager.

    I audit behavioral health records for a living. I often see the precipitant for a kid being admitted to a psych hospital is their being bulled at school. It breaks my heart.

    I’ve thought about prevention and agree with you. If there was a process by which children could be assessed as at-risk for bullying and given skills training (like assertiveness), we could reduce the incidence of it.
     
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  7. Edward764

    Edward764 Well-Known Member

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    The good news is that today there are anti bullying campaigns and awareness in the schools. I think that this appeals to the moral fabric of students today in a way that did not exist in the 70's when I was in middle and high school. My high school counselor was actually friends with my greatest bullies.

    Being admitted to a psych ward for being a bullying victim is awful and inexcusable.I hope students who see the bullies in action will not hesitate to report them to school personnel.
    If any high school students are reading this thread, bullying IS a HUGE deal. It can ruin lives, and is partly responsible for ruining mine. PLEASE report it if you see it at your school. You could be making a great positive difference in some ones life.
     
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  8. SixTimesNine

    SixTimesNine New Member

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    For some reason, some people continue to believe it is perfectly fine to pretend that I am not talking and speak right over me--and then complain that I am rude because I do not talk enough. They start talking about a movie. I get two words out, and then they start speaking over me--often about a completely different topic so I don't get to contribute to the conversation about the movie!

    Lots and lots of bullying as a kid. There were some kids I didn't even know who threatened me with things like telling me they would put me in a cemetery. When I finally took Kung Fu and learned to fight back, this one kid I don't remember ever seeing before during all of high school "Benny Hilled" my neck during gym. I had enough and slapped his neck back. So what did this big tough guy do? He jumped me while I had my pants down in the locker room! I slipped while trying to kick because I was in my socks. (It continues to infuriate me how some girls would be impressed by a tough guy attacking someone who obviously could not fight back. Not only was this cowardly behavior, they failed to realize that guys who beat up helpless boys are very likely to beat up other people who can't fight back--like their girlfriends and wives.)

    I used to teach college. The students would try to walk all over me.

    One extremely narcissistic former boss bullied me. I was rude, for example, because I did not stand up every single time someone entered the office--even though I had a ton of work to do keeping the place running!
     
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  9. AloneNotLonely

    AloneNotLonely Well-Known Member

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    Most of it was filtering out all of the situations that happen. This doesn't happen every day, even the bums attempting to touch me is more of a weekly occasion than daily, but that's because I only go out of the house once a week.

    It appears like I was a total violent badass but that's not how it went. The bum grabbed me (out of a crowd, this sort of stuff does not happen to normal people, only an autistic weirdo like me) and the next like 20-30 seconds were me standing there like a moron looking around to see what other people were doing. Nothing. The whole situation was completely invisible, no cops around either (obviously I would've called a cop if one was there, probably only to be told I'm evil and a terrible person for not letting a poor bum touch me).

    So I was there thinking carefully about it for some time... and then I was like "What the heck, I'm going to kick him real hard, hard enough that he can't really react and then quickly walk away". So I did. He had no time to react, although crazy bums often seem to be immune to pain, this one wasn't so the situation didn't escalate. There was this woman clearly staring at me in shock as I walked away, but this is the same type of woman that would just walk past. Typical judgemental cowardly piece of trash so who cares if she disapproves. Clearly it could've ended far worse, with the guy slobbering all over me in some crazy bum rage. Obviously that would've been suicide fuel, so my course of action now is to avoid this altogether. Never will I come close to a bum within, say, 3 meters of range. The situation wasn't one where "I'm so awesome I just beat the crap out of any people that bother me!" but more like "Holy crap thank goodness I got away from that without it getting worse, I'm never risking this type of nonsense again".

    My question isn't like "Why aren't you girls beating up guys that are stronger and bigger than you for touching your butt?" but more like, why do you keep putting yourselves in situations where this can keep happening? I've decided to avoid the situation.

    When a woman at work touched my neck, I made sure she felt extremely embarrassed and uncomfortable. I can't beat up a woman at work, but I can be assertive and make sure she never does it again and that anyone else there knows to not do that.

    And after that situation I made sure to avoid anyone standing behind me to avoid having them touch me in the neck. People are always weirded out by me acting really strange and turning to face them whenever they move behind me, but it works and I haven't had my neck or hair touched since.
     
  10. Rexi

    Rexi uwu owo uwu SlightlyFilterless Atheist Science=<3 V.I.P Member

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    @AloneNotLonely

    That's all good. My cousin said something about one kid for he was picking on his friend and the family/friends waited for him to get out of karate class one day and gang beat him up that his face got purple. I don't think he was even 18. People indeed can be a scary violent bunch.

    I once was walking down the street with my mom and suddenly I got my butt slapped by some mature man, I was probably 17 y o, so underage. There were 3 men who passed us by and had no shame of my mother or compassion of the fact i was a minor and a human being. I thought they actually did that because I would be ashamed to tell my mom but i did anyway, my mom just said to leave them alone dont look back, but i turned and showed them the Mr Bean finger.
     
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  11. AloneNotLonely

    AloneNotLonely Well-Known Member

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    This sounds so alien to me, I seriously don't see how this stuff happens.

    I honestly don't see that ever happening in my country, if a woman were to say something about a guy touching her butt out loud on the streets there would be trouble. A whole family beating up a kid who bullied their family members' friend... uhh yea doesn't happen either. Kids can get their heads dipped in toilets and the whole family will be like "Well you should be his friend, bullies only do that because they don't have friends!".
     
  12. Rexi

    Rexi uwu owo uwu SlightlyFilterless Atheist Science=<3 V.I.P Member

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    I got my butt touched at school and told my teacher but she thought "he pushed me down the stairs" instead of "he touched my ass" and scolded him. "Luckily" he also did that after touching my butt so it was sort of accurate. These phrases are similar in my language and there was still some noise in the classroom and outside and the door was open when the teacher came in, so no wonder she misunderstood.

    That took a lot of willpower and courage to say, but then I stared him down in my victory like the wurm he was and it felt all better. Needless to say he left me alone ever since, or else more public shaming for him.