• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Does anyone project great vulnerabilty?

Rectify said:
I think it can.

Though, it can be hard for those who are more inclined to moving through the world gently, to keep that up on a long term basis.
Click to expand...

In this case it wouldn't have to be kept up on a long-term basis but instead be a skill that could utilized in rare circumstances, such as the ones he described!
 
You're not just unlucky. A lot of autistic people spend their whole lives getting bullied, and I'm one of them. That's why the only people I'm close to, are my family.
 
at the end of your post @Knit Hat it said "Thank you for filling out this questionnaire.

Your Aspie score: 190 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 6 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie"

what is that from?
 
An Arctic fox said:
So from this thread it seems that I for sure have more bad stuff ahead of me?
Click to expand...

Nah, this is a thread specifically discussing the problem. There are plenty of people and autistic people who don't experience these problems, especially not to this extent, but it would be inappropriate for any of them to post in this thread saying something like, "I don't have this problem," so we get the lopsided perception we have now.

And you're growing up in a different time anyway. I'm not much older than you but I talk to kids from the school district I was a part of on a daily basis and it all sounds very different. I've also talked to teachers and others involved in schools, some who specifically work with autistic students, and they talk about how drastically it's changed just in the last decade.

Of course, I don't know anything about your state, city, school district, school, student population, grade level, or class, but I'm just trying to give an impression of the sort of change and unpredictability that exists.

Everything can hinge on a single person as well. A single person has the power to ruin someone else's life, a person has the power to save someone else's life, a school or a teacher has the power to stop a problem in its tracks, another student has the power to help or hurt--it's a lot of factors.

In conclusion: don't worry.

You also sound like you're smarter than I was at your age. I think you'll be fine.
 
Last edited:
71UlAF2vO2L._SL1500_.jpg


Do you like stuffed animals?
You should get one of an arctic fox, if you don't have one already!
 
An Arctic fox said:
at the end of your post @Knit Hat it said "Thank you for filling out this questionnaire.

Your Aspie score: 190 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 6 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie"

what is that from?
Click to expand...
In all honesty, it's been so long since I took that quiz, that I can't even remember where or why I took it.
 
An Arctic fox said:
though im probably about to have a meltdown or anxiety attack
Click to expand...

This honestly is probably one of the reasons why the stuff mentioned in this thread happens. Well, an example of why.

Think about it: Is there ANYTHING about this thread that is genuinely a threat to you? It's merely a series of posts on the internet, a place where you are completely anonymous if you want to be. Nothing here can DO anything to you... unless you let it.

And that's the key phrase there: "unless you let it". Because that's what alot of us do. Things happen, problems occur... and we allow it. It's not that we stand back and go "okay, I'll just let that slide and bother me some more". I also dont mean that these "problems" physically damage us in some way if allowed. Many "problems" result in mildly annoying but otherwise harmless effects, so that's not it. No, it's that we break down into panic over things that most people wouldnt even be mildly bothered by. So those things arent properly dealt with, and the situation gets even worse as we panic over something that often doesnt matter in the way we suddenly believe it does.

Now that's just THAT example. This post I'm making overall isnt meant to be about you. The rest of this post is more meant as a general response to the OP, going off of that. I just thought that was a good example of what I'm about to go into.

This thread is about bullies and such, so let's continue with that. Bullies spot this sort of thing that I mentioned above, even if our "panic" doesnt involve freaked out screaming. Your body language shows your mental state. Even if you try to hide that panic, even if you dont make a sound... people around you pick up on it. Bullies see this as a sign of weakness. They say to themselves, "Wow, look at that guy, getting so bothered by such-and-such stupid thing. He must be weak/sad/stupid/whatever. I'll teach him a lesson, and look stronger in return". This starts the cycle.

I used to go through this myself. As a kid, I tended to be scared of basically everything. Well, to a degree I still am. But the thing was, this inevitably led to bullying when I was in school. Nobody ever got violent with me... the faculty would have come down on them like a sledgehammer if they did, it was the sort of place where they DO NOT tolerate fighting and stuff... but they still did enough to make every day a miserable waste of time. Well... until one incident in gym class, in high school. I was sitting on the floor, right. A couple of them were behind me, just sort of talking amongst themselves. One of them turned to go get something, and slipped on the annoyingly slippery floor that the gym often had. He sort of fell, but not quite. Landed on me, so he was in an odd sitting position, most of his weight resting just below my neck. After a moment of confusion, he and his friends started laughing at this. Well, briefly, anyway. I simply leaned forward really fast, and he was sent sprawling. I didnt need to DO much of anything. A simple, low-key movement led to the bully essentially defeating himself. His own mean act turned against him, and suddenly he looked like the clown. And I could see that he realized this instantly.

At that point, I realized: These guys werent very bright. They werent very strong. That's WHY they only picked on those that they perceived as weak or timid. But they could be beaten by something so bloody simple as me leaning forward. From then on, I changed how I handled things. I never got violent or anything... but whenever anyone tried something, I simply manipulated the situation somehow so that if they kept it up, they'd self-destruct just like that guy had. I gained confidence over time, thanks to this... realizing that I DID have more control than I thought, so long as I didnt fall into a panic state. By the time I'd reached senior year, none of them were stupid enough to get in my way anymore. Confidence, reasoning, and calmness... those things alone changed my situation. I was no longer the timid wuss that everyone could pester without trouble.

And that's really all it took. I changed my outlook, I got more determined, and I simply refused to lose, which is a trend that has continued to this day. I havent gotten bullied or pestered since highschool. And it's not like I look mean or violent or anything. I'm about as masculine as a flower, and physically rather weak, always have been. But I seem to give off a rather dark aura of "stay out of my way", so most people do. Again, that confidence and other stuff is what allows that to happen.

Now dont get me wrong: I'm still easily scared by basically anything. But a simple refusal to be beaten by whatever it is gets me through ALOT of situations, and solves ALOT of problems.

It's something that I wish I could drill into the heads of many of the people at this very forum, but at the same time, I know from experience how difficult it is to learn, and how hard it is to control our own mental state. It's no easy solution, and the very nature of being on the spectrum gets in the way.

Still, if I can do it, paranoid as I usually am... so can any of you. But it's not easy. Not at all. Still... it can be done. At the very least though, I do think it's important to understand how bullies like that function, and how/why they choose their targets.
 
Misery said:
This honestly is probably one of the reasons why the stuff mentioned in this thread happens. Well, an example of why.

Think about it: Is there ANYTHING about this thread that is genuinely a threat to you? It's merely a series of posts on the internet, a place where you are completely anonymous if you want to be. Nothing here can DO anything to you... unless you let it.

And that's the key phrase there: "unless you let it". Because that's what alot of us do. Things happen, problems occur... and we allow it. It's not that we stand back and go "okay, I'll just let that slide and bother me some more". I also dont mean that these "problems" physically damage us in some way if allowed. Many "problems" result in mildly annoying but otherwise harmless effects, so that's not it. No, it's that we break down into panic over things that most people wouldnt even be mildly bothered by. So those things arent properly dealt with, and the situation gets even worse as we panic over something that often doesnt matter in the way we suddenly believe it does.

Now that's just THAT example. This post I'm making overall isnt meant to be about you. The rest of this post is more meant as a general response to the OP, going off of that. I just thought that was a good example of what I'm about to go into.

This thread is about bullies and such, so let's continue with that. Bullies spot this sort of thing that I mentioned above, even if our "panic" doesnt involve freaked out screaming. Your body language shows your mental state. Even if you try to hide that panic, even if you dont make a sound... people around you pick up on it. Bullies see this as a sign of weakness. They say to themselves, "Wow, look at that guy, getting so bothered by such-and-such stupid thing. He must be weak/sad/stupid/whatever. I'll teach him a lesson, and look stronger in return". This starts the cycle.

I used to go through this myself. As a kid, I tended to be scared of basically everything. Well, to a degree I still am. But the thing was, this inevitably led to bullying when I was in school. Nobody ever got violent with me... the faculty would have come down on them like a sledgehammer if they did, it was the sort of place where they DO NOT tolerate fighting and stuff... but they still did enough to make every day a miserable waste of time. Well... until one incident in gym class, in high school. I was sitting on the floor, right. A couple of them were behind me, just sort of talking amongst themselves. One of them turned to go get something, and slipped on the annoyingly slippery floor that the gym often had. He sort of fell, but not quite. Landed on me, so he was in an odd sitting position, most of his weight resting just below my neck. After a moment of confusion, he and his friends started laughing at this. Well, briefly, anyway. I simply leaned forward really fast, and he was sent sprawling. I didnt need to DO much of anything. A simple, low-key movement led to the bully essentially defeating himself. His own mean act turned against him, and suddenly he looked like the clown. And I could see that he realized this instantly.

At that point, I realized: These guys werent very bright. They werent very strong. That's WHY they only picked on those that they perceived as weak or timid. But they could be beaten by something so bloody simple as me leaning forward. From then on, I changed how I handled things. I never got violent or anything... but whenever anyone tried something, I simply manipulated the situation somehow so that if they kept it up, they'd self-destruct just like that guy had. I gained confidence over time, thanks to this... realizing that I DID have more control than I thought, so long as I didnt fall into a panic state. By the time I'd reached senior year, none of them were stupid enough to get in my way anymore. Confidence, reasoning, and calmness... those things alone changed my situation. I was no longer the timid wuss that everyone could pester without trouble.

And that's really all it took. I changed my outlook, I got more determined, and I simply refused to lose, which is a trend that has continued to this day. I havent gotten bullied or pestered since highschool. And it's not like I look mean or violent or anything. I'm about as masculine as a flower, and physically rather weak, always have been. But I seem to give off a rather dark aura of "stay out of my way", so most people do. Again, that confidence and other stuff is what allows that to happen.

Now dont get me wrong: I'm still easily scared by basically anything. But a simple refusal to be beaten by whatever it is gets me through ALOT of situations, and solves ALOT of problems.

It's something that I wish I could drill into the heads of many of the people at this very forum, but at the same time, I know from experience how difficult it is to learn, and how hard it is to control our own mental state. It's no easy solution, and the very nature of being on the spectrum gets in the way.

Still, if I can do it, paranoid as I usually am... so can any of you. But it's not easy. Not at all. Still... it can be done. At the very least though, I do think it's important to understand how bullies like that function, and how/why they choose their targets.
Click to expand...
The second paragraph is quite offensive to the owner of this account (about how only if you let it), it's a PTSD reminder most likely but it isnt easy for her to say no. (She literally seems incapable of it). Also I'm an alternate personality so hello.
 
It isnt so easy as a perception change because as mentioned the host of this account has PTSD, she also is anorexic and has many other issues so it isnt that easy and she cant just choose to not be upset. That isnt how it works for some of us. And we cant just change our reactions when we are upset it isnt that easy. So have fun being able to change how you react but som of us cant.
 
The whole trend of this thread seems to be assuming outright crazy behaviour is coming for normal people. There are some exceptions, like bullying, but adults picking you up and moving you is downright crazy.

What I've noticed in my life is that crazy people seem to feel some sort of connection. They notice you are different, and immediately feel they might be accepted by you or that they can use your "condition" to get what they need from you.

I get disproportionally approached by women, most of which have something "off" although I couldn't say what. I frequently get touched in places I don't want to be touched by women I barely know. Bums seem to think that while their filthy mugs aren't allowed to touch anyone, I happen to be fair game. Many people I later found out were crazy were very interested in being my friends. If there's a crazy person at a party, you can bet that I'll be the first person they'll approach. If there's a bum in the street he will run past 4 people to ask me for money.

The only way to really deal with this is to be assertive, and in some cases violent. I once had to kick a bum in the face because he decided to reach out into the crowd and grab my leg (he was sitting) and wouldn't let go. I don't care what other people think of me anymore, and I look pretty schizo always on the look out for crazy or dirty people that might suddenly touch me on the street, so now I pre-emptively avoid those situations and things are a lot better. Also started to make more money.

I don't understand how you went your whole life never deciding to take a stand.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom