Do you smile?

[Slightly]

I smile very, very rarely. For me a smile wells up naturally from inside, and just happens, though not very often, without any sort of thought or effort.

Sometimes I wish I could smile on demand like most people seem to be able to, or have natural smiles come more easily. Both because it would make social stuff easier and because smiling is supposed to improve mood.

I don't really like to show my teeth, partly because I have bad teeth and partly because it just feels weird and forced, but occasionally I try to smile on purpose because of social expectations or because I want to put someone at ease.

This never works. People ask me what I'm smirking about. I've been told I look creepy. I get the feeling it's very offputting and insincere looking.

Maybe I just don't have the knack for it.

Does anyone else have weirdness around smiling?

 

[Judge]

Not very often. Forever being asked by my mother, "WHAT'S WRONG?"

It got old....

 

[Rodafina]

I look so bizarre trying to smile on purpose. But the natural smile that wells up from inside happens frequently. Often when I am alone. I smile with my eyes and sometimes tear up. It’s a bit of an overflow of emotions.

 

[Hypnalis]

A lot of ND's don't smile the same way as NT's do. The cliche (which is reasonably accurate) is that ND's smile with their mouth but not with their eyes. And of course it's very common for ND's to have other deficits in non-verbal and indirect communication.

These, including smiling, can be mitigated, but it's not easy.

There's a short cartoon video somewhere on this site that captures NT vs ND smiling quite well (I don't remember where).

FWIW I know it's possible to learn an "NT-compliant" smile, because I've done it.

 

[Tom]

All the time. But usually it's really just a grin type thing, I don't normally have a big toothy smile unless I am really laughing hard.

 

[damoisellepeachy]

I remember when I was graduating, I was pulling a smile and this random lady was taking pictures of the grads and when she saw me, she asked me to “smile more” and I was confused because I thought but I am smiling?? Guess I didn’t have a big enough smile to someone once

 

[Luca]

Irl, I’m either genuinely smiling, or I have RBF, depending on how much fun I’m having.

Most of the time, when I’m just out by myself doing errands, I look really grumpy, because I am. I definitely give off “get out of my way” vibes, but the last thing I want to do in public is interact with people.

When I have a reason to smile, I do, and it’s genuine.

Pictures are more difficult because I don’t know exactly what too much or too little of a smile is. I don’t want to look goofy and awkward but I also don’t want to look sensual lol

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I love to smile and laugh but I love my happy smile when I am really enjoying something and someone makes me happy and they will know it because I latch on to them.
And when someone is nice to me and says nice things and validates my pain and is just happy to know me, I do smile.
I love my happy smile, I think my smile is beautiful too and lights up my whole face but it is important to remain humble.
However I have been sad for so long, I am happy when people are happy to see me smile and be

 

[Progster]

Yes, I do smile - sometimes too much, sometimes not enough for the social situation.

 

[Princess Viola]

I can smile when something makes me happy or laugh, but I can't force myself to smile.

I rememer my grandpa would always tell me to smile when I'd get my school photos taken but I can't just do that, it always looks unnatural and creepy.

 

[Rodafina]

Photographs are probably the least likely place to see me smile. Rarely has a true smile been captured when there is a camera in my face.

 

[Gerontius]

I am usually happy but it was uncommon for me to smile earlier on because I was dealing with a little bit too much mental baggage.

 

[Wolfnox]

At jokes. Or fun surprises.
Keyword fun.

 

[sponge.bob]

My mother used to always tell me I need to smile more, I never knew why. Like, what was I supposed to be smiling at? I smile when something is funny. People used to smile at me when I made eye contact with them, like classmates or family members, or people walking on the street. I could never figured out why they do that, and I never smiled back. Looking back I must've seemed awful rude

 

[autism-and-autotune]

Not very often. Forever being asked by my mother, "WHAT'S WRONG?"

It got old....

See, my mother would only vent about people not smiling in photographs. "Why can't they be happy?"
People with her viewpoint only care about appearances, and not actuality. Very typical for narcissists.

 

[330]

Only time I really have a genuine smile is when I see myself in the mirror . It is really funny

 

[SusanLR]

Sometimes the smile comes naturally when I am amused.
But I also got really good at the fake smile because I was a model, and it was a learned thing for photographers.
Just like learning acting.

Not so good at the big fake smile anymore, but I can still smile enough to look happy in one- on- one social situations even if I don't feel it.

 

[kenaij]

I work at a school and the kids (teenagers) will very often ask my why I always look so angry or serious. I also often stand cross armed (I think you say it that way in english, with your arms folded in front of your body)
I can smile, and smiling for a picture is also quite easy for me.
But my natural state is to look serious.

 

[330]

See, my mother would only vent about people not smiling in photographs. "Why can't they be happy?"
People with her viewpoint only care about appearances, and not actuality. Very typical for narcissists.

She must not like any pictures of people pre 1900 . Good luck finding a smile in that period

 

[Hypnalis]

I work at a school and the kids (teenagers) will very often ask my why I always look so angry or serious. I also often stand cross armed (I think you say it that way in english, with your arms folded in front of your body)
I can smile, and smiling for a picture is also quite easy for me.
But my natural state is to look serious.

I think RBF is more common in Aspies, but it's not unusual in NT's:

Resting bitch face - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

IMO the general Aspie issue is that we generally use our resting face when we're with other people, and don't smile at all unless it's "coming from the heart" (e.g. your avatar pic).

It's possible to change that, and might be useful in your work. It takes a while, but there are secondary benefits too