Do you need to talk about other people?

[Running Girl]

This is possibly the only thread I've encountered here that i feel "different"from everyone else who replied. I find gossip to be a huge social lubricant and gives me a false sense of intimacy with other people, whether i bring the gossip or merely listen to it. I consider it a flaw, this gossip thing, but tough to give up due to my social anxiety . I need all the help i can get, and talking about other people (i mean people both parties know; not someone only one of us know), makes the anxiety go away for a while.

 

[Tom]

People are pretty high up in many people's interests. Even with technically other interests, the people factors are often at the core of what makes it interesting, such as music or history, etc. I don't think there is anything wrong with it unless it is the only thing they talk about. Then to me they are boring.

 

[BrokenBoy]

Yea I love hearing about drama.

 

[Progster]

It's hard to avoid talking about people at some point as they are part of our lives, but when I talk about people, it's more in practical terms rather than gossip or judgemental comments about their lives. For example, a family member has a problem and needs help. Then I might talk about this to other family members to see what can be done to help, and this is all part in normal falily life. What I don't want to know about is what the neighbour was wearing, or who visited their house and what they looked like, or other such gossip about other people's private lives, because it is none of my business. Nor do I wish to hear about celebrities, where they went on holiday, who they are going out with, etc - this has no interest for me whatsoever.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Since I socialize more I do talk a lot about other people either to my self or my Grandmother who does not gossip so it is fine. I will not socialize and talk about other's with my peers. I have common sense not to do that.

 

[Aspychata]

I talk about myself only. When people start talking about other things, I manage to navigate the topic back to me.

Great answer. Finally a short simple answer.

 

[Lycoris]

I think the urge for NTs to gossip about others largely stems from the tribal instincts passed on to us from our ancestors hundreds of thousands of years ago. It was essential during the prehistoric era to be informed of shifts in the network of relationships within a community, at least more so than it is today.

Maybe because of the fact that NDs having brains innately structured differently compared to the NTs, and that we are "rewarded" less for social interaction, a large portion of us don't find it interesting, myself included.