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Do you go out to parties or clubbing?

Yeah, I don't do well just being at a club for simply the experience. I'm no good at big mixers or black tie whatevers, either. If I am on the stage as the entertainment...music or there with a purpose, filming or something...that I can do. Just standing around or jumping around and surrounded by people I likely don't know at all...nope. It just gets uncomfortable. I wish it wasn't. It gives the outcast feelings, but I definitely choose comfort, still. That said, if it's a party for a friend, I will do everything I can to make an appearance, but I'm prone to the good ole Irish goodbye.
 
Not sure if this counts, but I do go to concerts that take place in bars and nightclubs for a cheap night out and some live music.
 
lovely_darlingprettybaby said:
I am really autistic but I want to go..
But the only thing I do not like about clubbing is sometimes just house music and the music is too loud for an autistic
And often too much drinking, sex and drugs and I am not into that.
I really do not mind drinking mocktails and I dream of dancing on chairs and with my friends in sequins and cute outfits.
But I have been really unwell and am really autistic and have never been.
Have you ever been and do you like it and what do you enjoy?
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Too many years ago, long before I was diagnosed, I would try to go to clubs and dance bars. It was usually an ordeal. Being an anthrophobe (fear of people and crowds), I had to stay on the periphery, often near the door. Having an escape route gave a little comfort. Naturally, I displayed my anxiety like a flashing neon sign. I found wearing ear plugs (those little foam things, cut one in half and it is barely noticeable) made things more tolerable. The music was usually turned up to a level where the distortion made the music indecipherable. All I really heard was THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! Is that an NT thing? I found going made me feel worse than not going.

I can understand you dichotomy of wanting to go and fear of going. I have always wanted (and still want) human contact and friendship, even (dare I say it?) love. Having a social life. Going some place and getting wild. Things I see other people enjoying. I now know that will never happen, and never could. I cannot have friends or a social life. I have accepted it. I don't like it, obviously, but that is the reality. The closest I can get is in my own imagination
 
I used to go to bars to listen to bands play. my wife to be went to bars to dance to disco. Music. I really liked rock and Roll music it makes you feel like dancing, hence its name's sake. We meet in my rooming house. chocolate meets peanut butter. We quickly found a commonality. How do you dance with a wild woman. must admit today's music is hard to dance too. Every now and then a song comes along that we like driving back from Florida, We heard Ella King so there is a bit of stuff out there. must admit fun driving with her bopping beside me. Just starting to be heard up here.
 
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Never been to a dance club , so no advice there .Doesn’t seem like something I would enjoy . I do like music .Parties not a fan of those either. I don’t like bars , except maybe to grab a meal on vacation . never go to one to hang or socialize. I have in the past on occasion and it is not enjoyable.

I have played many Venues and Bars etc with bands. But I would never really hangout. Would go out for a walk or read a book outside, or lay on top of the van staring at the sky until show time . Then play pack up and leave .

I think it’s just so much sensory stuff happening in places with a lot of people. And if there is a group of people trying to hang I can’t really focus on anything.
 
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Forest Cat said:
The loud music and the lights and ambiance and everything often makes it feel like being stuck in a David Lynch movie. There's something surreal about it.
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I think it be cool but I geninuely think I would get triggered be certain lights as well as sound and noise and too many people and sensory overload.
I love loud music and dancing tho and it is just a dream
 
Gerald Wilgus said:
There is a common theme of loudness . . . and I remember the disco days, though I've been in a club only once. I like TMBGs they have sensibilities that we ND can understand

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I do not like the buzzy sound in music and that can trigger me and I like loud music but it is hard, it is not always good for my brain.
I love it though, it makes me feel cool, confident and alive.
I really love loud pop music it is a passion for me.
 
No, I prefer being alone and I very much am uncomfortable (read: panic internally) with crowded spaces and loud noises, so parties and clubbing are nothing that have ever appealed to me personally.
 
Shamar said:
Too many years ago, long before I was diagnosed, I would try to go to clubs and dance bars. It was usually an ordeal. Being an anthrophobe (fear of people and crowds), I had to stay on the periphery, often near the door. Having an escape route gave a little comfort. Naturally, I displayed my anxiety like a flashing neon sign. I found wearing ear plugs (those little foam things, cut one in half and it is barely noticeable) made things more tolerable. The music was usually turned up to a level where the distortion made the music indecipherable. All I really heard was THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! Is that an NT thing? I found going made me feel worse than not going.

I can understand you dichotomy of wanting to go and fear of going. I have always wanted (and still want) human contact and friendship, even (dare I say it?) love. Having a social life. Going some place and getting wild. Things I see other people enjoying. I now know that will never happen, and never could. I cannot have friends or a social life. I have accepted it. I don't like it, obviously, but that is the reality. The closest I can get is in my own imagination
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I can understand you. I am the same I do not know if I could actually go.
But even if we cannot we are perfect the way we are and there are people out there who love us for us. Autism is hard...every..single..day.
I do not like super loud music either and wonder whether it it good for my brain.
And buzzy type things in club music do trigger me.
It is hard I can get claustrophobia too and do not know if I could do these things either but you fan always party at home. Party in the house.
 
I'm an anomaly here because I love clubbing, raves, concerts, parties, theme parks, bowling alleys, restaurants/bars, group socializing, etc. I actually love loud, stimulating, exciting environments. I've mentioned on here several times that I used to work in the nightclub/entertainment industry so I'm no stranger to it.
Music is one of my special interests, and I love dancing, and listening to music at full volume. I would go to a club every weekend if I could.
Perhaps being an extrovert, and having ADHD, have something to do with all of this.

I'll mention here that my significant other also works in the nightclub industry, so we are kind of on the same page as far as our tolerance for stimulation and social activity goes.
I believe she is also on the spectrum, for what it's worth.

I don't really drink much, and I don't like house parties if there are going to be people there who I don't know. But I like to host parties with trusted friends in my own house pretty regularly. My motto for these events seems to be "go big or go home" lol...
I do drink on occasion but it's very rare and it really does me in for the rest of the week. I don't really see a need to most of the time, but I can be a social drinker in certain environments. But I still prefer to make my own mocktails and virgin drinks.
Any other substances besides alcohol and caffeine are a big no from me though. One bad experience with marijuana was more than enough.
A couple of cocktails will wind me up for the rest of the night anyway lol

But I'm not 18 anymore, I'm almost in my 30s, and extensive partying really burns me out now (plus I have a full-time job), so I try to limit it to weekends unless it's a holiday or my birthday.

I recognize that I'm different from a lot of other autistic people, in the sense that I'm extremely extroverted and I have a lot more of a tolerance for prolonged socializing and excitement.
Socializing energizes me and makes me hyper, but I do crash eventually and then I need to sleep a lot. As I mentioned, I don't have an unlimited tolerance for partying and I will eventually burn out and feel exhausted.

However, just yesterday my therapist agreed with me that socializing, and some level of partying, are actually good for my mental health, because I am such a social, energetic person and I tend to do better when I'm not lonely or sitting around my house bored. I like to share my experiences with others.
Obviously that does not include *unlimited* partying, which at my current age would probably kill me lmao

This has led many people (including therapists) to think that I am not autistic and that I only have ADHD. But I'm fairly certain that I have too many autistic traits to not be autistic. My special interests, and being hyperlexic, and having significant social difficulties were really what got me diagnosed in the first place (as a young child.) Those things haven't really changed with age, but I have gotten progressively more social and more extroverted as I've entered adulthood.
For some people, this makes me super fun and popular and a great friend, and great to be around, and for some people it makes me the most irritating, obnoxious person on the face of the earth. There are probably people on here who can attest to one or the other...
 
Parties can be overwhelming. Smaller parties may be easier than great big ones. Either way, parties can be enjoyable if they’re fun and I can be involved and occupied in them.

I’ve never been to a club. It seems sort of unappealing for the same reasons already mentioned. I’m not really into today’s music and I don’t drink. I also don’t like staying out extremely late. Sometimes the program for people with learning disabilities that I’m involved with has parties with catered food, music, and dancing. The outcomes can also vary. That’s probably the closest to a club that I’ve done.

However, there are probably many attractive women at clubs. A potential date also might want to go to one. My interests are rather limited. I’m not into bars, sports, or movies. Maybe one of the reasons not too many women are interested in me is because they think I’m boring.
 
Clubbing and parties are my worst nightmare. I don't even drink alcohol, so what's the point of going to a club or bar or whatever? They are not only obnoxiously loud and full of human behavior at its worst, but they're boring and exhausting. Also you catch diseases from people at such things. The only party I've gone to for several years was a costume party around Halloween, because I like showing off my handmade costumes. They didn't serve alcohol. That was before Covid but their later parties before that got pretty disappointing, the food was lame, it was like trying to pull teeth to get the DJ to play "This IS Halloween" instead of the same old boring, non-spooky songs. I guess they had less money or just lost their Halloween spirit.
 
I don't like them, although i have been to several. Since the music is too loud there is no oppurtunity to talk and it seems like a waste of time to me. I also dont like concerts for the same reason
 
Bolletje said:
I used to go out clubbing and go to raves and music festivals a lot. These days I don’t do that anymore, I’ve been dealing with a burnout for over a year and I can’t deal with too many stimuli.
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Raves like this? :D This is from your part of the world, the Dutch knows how to rave.

 
I guess I'm old fashioned, since I grew up with parents who would never allow me to go to a club or go drinking/partying, but I don't mind. I like being old fashioned.
 
As a teenager I used to go to lots of rock/metal shows. I never liked night clubs, too loud and not all that interesting... But I still like live music.
 
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