Do you find yourself to be paranoid at times?

[Utini]

Want to know if it's common amongst aspies and what do you do to cope?

It's not too often that I get paranoid, it seems to come in waves. I tell myself that I am being silly but that does nothing. I trust my husband but lately I have been getting a sinking feeling when I see him texting and I don't know to who.

I will make a small comment sometimes to give him room to tell me who it is but no answer. Doing that made me more anxious and paranoid, I should have dropped it knowing I was being silly. He probably would tell me just fine but I feel he would feel intruded apon or think I don't trust him. I am sure he doesn't think of telling me who it is because he doesn't get any of the same insecure feelings and trusts me. If I'm texting and he asks if so and so is bothering me again or what not, I tell him but because I have it in the back of my mind that maybe he is wondering.

I know I am overthinking this and that I am being ridiculous. This could also be the result of me no longer having any friends. Any of you have anything similar?

 

[Gritches]

I've actually done a lot of work on the topic of paranoia. Paranoia destroyed me for years. It was so bad it almost got me re-diagnosed schizo. It was literally crippling, and aging me well beyond my years being so on edge all day and night (I feared for my life). What helped was realizing that I can't think my way out of paranoia, I had to feel my way out. As for the source of the paranoia, my therapist says it's because I have very deep and severe trust issues after being burned 10-too-many times, and I agree.

That said, I do believe the root of paranoia is distrust, and that furthermore the root of the distrust is fear, specifically the fear of loss. At the center of it all, are you afraid you'll lose your husband? Just generally, after 8 years of studying abnormal psych if there's one thing I can conclude it's that fear is at the center of all mental discord, paranoia included (or maybe especially). You don't think fear, you feel fear, and that feeling manifests itself in all sorts of different ways, even if you're not actually feeling like you're directly afraid of anything. Paranoia is very much a surface-problem, that is to say if you can dig down deeper and address the feelings that cause it you'll be doing the equivalent of curing the disease rather than just treating the symptoms.


Okay, I got a little serious there, but that's a taste of what I've got on the subject of paranoia.

 

[Utini]

I've actually done a lot of work on the topic of paranoia. Paranoia destroyed me for years. It was so bad it almost got me re-diagnosed schizo. It was literally crippling, and aging me well beyond my years being so on edge all day and night (I feared for my life). What helped was realizing that I can't think my way out of paranoia, I had to feel my way out. As for the source of the paranoia, my therapist says it's because I have very deep and severe trust issues after being burned 10-too-many times, and I agree.

That said, I do believe the root of paranoia is distrust, and that furthermore the root of the distrust is fear, specifically the fear of loss. At the center of it all, are you afraid you'll lose your husband? Just generally, after 8 years of studying abnormal psych if there's one thing I can conclude it's that fear is at the center of all mental discord, paranoia included (or maybe especially). You don't think fear, you feel fear, and that feeling manifests itself in all sorts of different ways, even if you're not actually feeling like you're directly afraid of anything. Paranoia is very much a surface-problem, that is to say if you can dig down deeper and address the feelings that cause it you'll be doing the equivalent of curing the disease rather than just treating the symptoms.


Okay, I got a little serious there, but that's a taste of what I've got on the subject of paranoia.

Thank you for the very informative reply I was in an abusive relationship where the guy also cheated on me, this was 8 years ago. Perhaps I'll never get over it completely, time will tell. I hope you are feeling much better with the help you got, I can't imagine having that amount of paranoia, crippling. In the beginning of the relationship I was in now, I was paranoid on a daily basis so I do think I am better than I was for sure.

 

[Fitzo]

I agree with what @Gritches said, but would like to add that it's quite common for Aspies to suffer from anxiety, and in my opinion anxiety breeds paranoia.
If you could get some help in dealing with anxiety, you might find the paranoia goes away too.

 

[Suzanne]

Yes, sadly and it always props its ugly head, when I have to be somewhat social.

My husband says: text her and ask her over for coffee. I say: I can't, because I don't want to put her in a position of: I best say yes. I find it extruiating difficult to make the first move, but am trying very hard to work on that.

I was very much like you at the beginning of my marriage; accept there was no texting ( not that old lol). But longevity of marriage, has made me less paranoid. It does come up, if my husband is unhappy etc and I ask now: am I the cause? And go from there.

 

[AGXStarseed]

I can be pretty paranoid when I'm on my own at night. If I'm outside, I'm checking behind me every now and then to see if I'm not being followed and if I'm at home, I can sometimes be up for hours triple checking that all the windows are shut and the doors locked - with the paranoia getting worse if I hear a noise that I don't recognise.

 

[Utini]

I can be pretty paranoid when I'm on my own at night. If I'm outside, I'm checking behind me every now and then to see if I'm not being followed and if I'm at home, I can sometimes be up for hours triple checking that all the windows are shut and the doors locked - with the paranoia getting worse if I hear a noise that I don't recognise.

I have something similar at the hospital I work at. I often picture a shooter coming in so I get jumpy or hide when I see extremely shady characters.