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Do other a-sexuals relate to these issues

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
My kids almost grown up so I have more space to mow react without being irresponsible parent.
As a women I feel terribly harassed by men, society obligation and have finally found myself a female partner who respects my boundaries. In past partners agree to what I say and think I'll change my mind and men tend to more so push the boundaries.
Katja is beautiful but she said she is happy with the way I want things. So first step was aids test and clinical examination and she actually said she felt better and didn't mind that I have this left brain that refuses to switch off, so until I'm happy then I dont want touching. HPV is a serious epedemic coming out and my explanation is how can you end up with prostrate cancer and insist caused from cereals and that you have a brain. Cleared up that I can set rules that I want!!
Katja and I have agreed we don't mind being touched or dry kiss in public but it's dependent on way we touch, being affectionate is fine being cheap n horny isn't. So I don't feel so lonely, and Katja agreed to let me lead so she can understand what not to do or way touch me upsetting. So back at my house she said she didn't think it was that weird that we have our own room, said she kind of likes the space and feels happy that I treat her right. She says I'm a great cook and she isn't vegetarian but she enjoys it when I get her a special linefish.
It's really peaceful now and I'm happy that I don't have a pushy person around who makes me crawl out of my skin!
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
As a women I was harassed by boyfriends who didn't want to use a condom, I didn't feel they were safe and that we should build up more trust and feeling just uncomfortable.
I can also shower and go to bed quietly without a suprise at being jumped and expected to switch on/off which is difficult for me to transmission from my task to having sex.
I don't have uncomfort of having to find new home, I can stay in my own home and not have lectures such as he hasn't had sex for a week....
One of my early boyfriends I lived with actually shouted because I don't notice he has a hard on, honestly I can't understand his problem, it makes me unhappy and feels like pressure and harassment, again resulting in my leaving and renting a room somewhere.
For me I was left contemplating suicide due to unwanted attention and had difficulty understanding male vs female roles, battled whole life trying to contemplate being dictated to by men, society didnt recognise my suffering because all girls think they feminists and this wasn't my case, there were reasons I needed space, my own job.
 

Fino

Alex
V.I.P Member
I suppose these things might happen with people who are asexual but still have romantic inclinations. I'm asexual and aromantic, so I don't have any experiences like this.
 

lovely_darlingprettybaby

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
My kids almost grown up so I have more space to mow react without being irresponsible parent.
As a women I feel terribly harassed by men, society obligation and have finally found myself a female partner who respects my boundaries. In past partners agree to what I say and think I'll change my mind and men tend to more so push the boundaries.
Katja is beautiful but she said she is happy with the way I want things. So first step was aids test and clinical examination and she actually said she felt better and didn't mind that I have this left brain that refuses to switch off, so until I'm happy then I dont want touching. HPV is a serious epedemic coming out and my explanation is how can you end up with prostrate cancer and insist caused from cereals and that you have a brain. Cleared up that I can set rules that I want!!
Katja and I have agreed we don't mind being touched or dry kiss in public but it's dependent on way we touch, being affectionate is fine being cheap n horny isn't. So I don't feel so lonely, and Katja agreed to let me lead so she can understand what not to do or way touch me upsetting. So back at my house she said she didn't think it was that weird that we have our own room, said she kind of likes the space and feels happy that I treat her right. She says I'm a great cook and she isn't vegetarian but she enjoys it when I get her a special linefish.
It's really peaceful now and I'm happy that I don't have a pushy person around who makes me crawl out of my skin!
I do not know if I am asexual.
In the past....
I have never went for men but had boundaries.
I'm glad you found happiness
I find it uncomfortable to oogle men, in case they were not interested or taken and it just it makes you look desperate and like on heat.
So if you do not oogle good-looking men then it makes you look normal and they respect that unless you have a reason like you are mingling with single men and women in a bar and someone is interested in you and wants a date.

It is hard with receptive issues.
 

vergil96

Well-Known Member
As a women I was harassed by boyfriends who didn't want to use a condom, I didn't feel they were safe and that we should build up more trust and feeling just uncomfortable.
Not asexual, but AFAB and I also have had this experience with a guy. No condoms is a no go for me. At least at the start of a relationship until we get a grip on HIV and birth control methods. I went on dates and was picked up by a number of entitled jerks too, I get where you're coming from. Some people, mostly guys, seem to want to only have sex, not be a decent person and have sex in a way that fits them no matter how it makes the other person feel. Not even from the perspective of being asexual, two people might not enjoy the same things or one might be tired and not up for it everyday at every time at the same times as the other person.

I don't have uncomfort of having to find new home, I can stay in my own home and not have lectures such as he hasn't had sex for a week....
One of my early boyfriends I lived with actually shouted because I don't notice he has a hard on, honestly I can't understand his problem, it makes me unhappy and feels like pressure and harassment, again resulting in my leaving and renting a room somewhere.
I'm sorry that you went through this and it's great you've found an understanding partner. Your ex sounds incredibly selfish. It objectively is sexual harassment, a large proportion of it happens in relationships. Respectful behaviour would be to ask you if you want to and not being abusive (including shouting and verbal abuse) if you refuse.
 

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
Not asexual, but AFAB and I also have had this experience with a guy. No condoms is a no go for me. At least at the start of a relationship until we get a grip on HIV and birth control methods. I went on dates and was picked up by a number of entitled jerks too, I get where you're coming from. Some people, mostly guys, seem to want to only have sex, not be a decent person and have sex in a way that fits them no matter how it makes the other person feel. Not even from the perspective of being asexual, two people might not enjoy the same things or one might be tired and not up for it everyday at every time at the same times as the other person.


I'm sorry that you went through this and it's great you've found an understanding partner. Your ex sounds incredibly selfish. It objectively is sexual harassment, a large proportion of it happens in relationships. Respectful behaviour would be to ask you if you want to and not being abusive (including shouting and verbal abuse) if you refuse.
Thank you for acknowledging my plight, I look back and realise my holding down a job was due to unhappy factors back at home, suddenly a few incidents In office wasn't that bad.
Men can tend to take advantage when you down, not outspoken or I dependent and those years ago it wasn't a concept of a women having own ideas as a-sexual.
Another experience wasn't as bad, the guy took my hand and placed it on his crotch and told me I do this to him (nicer way to say it) but my urges weren't in sync.

I think with you g girls trying to teach sexuality or encouraging dating skills with learnt conversation may help her to decide where she is at, I'm not staying that all asd females are a-sexual but due to not being as open or talkative about these feelings when I was younger, I bring it up incase others relate
 

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