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Do aspies need sex?

I've been celibate for over a year and can scratch my own back it seems. In the physical, i often got lost in my own inner world anyways so I just cut out the middle man and feel better about it.

I only had one one-night stand and it was depressing and I had to fake an orgasm. He stole my underwear too I think. :(
 
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Neat Hedgehog said:
I am actually really surprised so many actually seem to have normal or high sex drives. I guess that is something even more particular about me.
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It's not uncommon for people with AS to be asexual, so you're not unusual. Also, what is a normal or high sex drive? One person might consider once a week to be high, whereas another might consider 3 times per day to be high. I think generally we create a lot of unnecessary stress worrying about how various aspects of our sexuality compare with that of other people and how a potential partner may judge us. Most of us are probably not so unusual as we sometimes think we are.
 
Cyanide Lollipop said:
It's not uncommon for people with AS to be asexual, so you're not unusual. Also, what is a normal or high sex drive? One person might consider once a week to be high, whereas another might consider 3 times per day to be high. I think generally we create a lot of unnecessary stress worrying about how various aspects of our sexuality compare with that of other people and how a potential partner may judge us. Most of us are probably not so unusual as we sometimes think we are.
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Well, I'm considering "normal" to be "existent." lol

Personally, I'm not too worried about it, just viewing it for what it is. The issue that does concern me is that no one believes me when I tell them. Guys think I just say I don't care because "I'm actually really lonely and want a girlfriend" (I am so sick of guys trying to set me up because of this) and women think it's because I want to "hook" them by making then feel "safe," and then later reveal that I'm actually hornier than a buck in rut, like every other guy they've met. Then they get offended when it turns out I'm not, and they take my lack of attraction to them as a personal affront no matter how many times I explain it. I usually get tired of explaining things for the Nth time and just quit, because it's obvious they're looking for something else.

hmm... No wonder my cat was my best friend; he's the only person I've met who didn't tell me everyday that "I need a girlfriend," or expect me to have sex with him. lol :p
 
Neat Hedgehog said:
Well, I'm considering "normal" to be "existent."
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That means you are normal, seeing as you exist and everything. :)

I, too, hate it when people assume I don't mean what I say. Does it ever occur to you that many adults don't seem to grasp theory of mind? I don't even know why it surprises me anymore.
 
Ylva said:
That means you are normal, seeing as you exist and everything. :)

I, too, hate it when people assume I don't mean what I say. Does it ever occur to you that many adults don't seem to grasp theory of mind? I don't even know why it surprises me anymore.
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It stopped surprising me a long time ago. People always seem to assume you're lying or mean something different from what you say. I used to be more straightforward and never lie, but everyone assumed I was giving them the business, so I started to figure I might as well, since they expect it and I can generally play their games better than they can since I have spent so much time actively studying it (wowzers, that's kind of bitter, now that I read it back to myself).
 
UGH dont even get me started on cats....bf has THREE all of which seem more intriguing to him than I do when I go over to his house...

Sends me videos and pics of his cats all the time like I am supposed to care.....send me a pic of yourself if youre going to bother....jeez so feminine for a guy to be THAT into cats its such a turn off...but I dont know how to tell him...I have asked him to get rid of them and he says if he ever moves out he will but I have my doubts,....If a guy cares more about his cats than his gf than he has no business having one
 
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I've had a lot of negative issues with intimacy, due to poor self confidence which go back to an abusive father, bullied at school and in clubs about my looks etc. And I've had a lot of negative response from the last person I was with they were more interested in them selves and what they wanted and their parents kept interfering which put a whole block on anything intimate, and I cant bare anyone touching me in any way as I always feel paranoid that they are just pretending to like me or they are going to hurt me and if they are genuine, I cant accept it. and that's all before sex! Sex is a no go for me I cant stand the sight feel or anything intimate or sexual to do with the male sexual organ and I don't know why but it feels really evil and disgusting to me. And in the long run this puts me off having a relationship because I know that sex is generally part of of a romantic relationship.
 
I don't find the need for sex. I have experience as much as I feel the need to by myself. The thought of other people inside me seems grossly parasitic.

Gomendosi said:
Ste11aeres, every human needs sex, it is a biological imperative hardwired into our genetic structure that dictates the continuation of the species...
But, that isn't what is meant by the question of "Do Aspies need sex?"

So, if it helps, in this instance it is likely meant that ruling out physical disability, chemical castration, actual castration and/or other mental impairments:
Are people with Aspergers less likely to follow their primal urge to procreate in favour of abstinence and doing other things with their time.
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I don't think humans need sex unless they mean to reproduce. There is nothing necessary about pleasure. Humans may like it, yes, but humans also like candy (generally). I think you would find it hard to argue that humans need candy.
 
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It is a proven fact that humans need certain emotional stimulus's to be healthy, and that certain experiences fulfill these differently in different people. I would argue that sex could satisfy this in some, just as affirmations or touching do in others.
It is also believed that reproduction is a basic need for all living things, and that without it, we would have no purpose and would be extinct.
Thirdly, we also know that women who do not have babies have a much higher rate of health problems in their later years.
All of these pose a logical argument for the need in some people to have sex.
Sydney said:
I don't think humans need sex unless they mean to reproduce. There is nothing necessary about pleasure. Humans may like it, yes, but humans also like candy (generally). I think you would find it hard to argue that humans need candy.
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My own experience shown me that I like to have sex with the same girl over and over. In a single peroid I tend too not carring that much about it. I don't thin k he sue the Nt girl has a drug, but somewhere you need , both of you, communicate to make some sort of planifacation on intimate moment and eventualy have sex. I lived the same experience, but the girl was a Nt and me the aspie. I consiouly know that Intimate moment are gonen to happen. Don't make him surprise. Kind of weird for a nt but some aspies don't like to be surprise or most aspie, I'm not not sure on this point. Hope it might help.
 
I like to be surprised by sex.
Joel said:
My own experience shown me that I like to have sex with the same girl over and over. In a single peroid I tend too not carring that much about it. I don't thin k he sue the Nt girl has a drug, but somewhere you need , both of you, communicate to make some sort of planifacation on intimate moment and eventualy have sex. I lived the same experience, but the girl was a Nt and me the aspie. I consiouly know that Intimate moment are gonen to happen. Don't make him surprise. Kind of weird for a nt but some aspies don't like to be surprise or most aspie, I'm not not sure on this point. Hope it might help.
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Sydney said:
I don't find the need for sex. I have experience as much as I feel the need to by myself. The thought of other people inside me seems grossly parasitic.



I don't think humans need sex unless they mean to reproduce. There is nothing necessary about pleasure. Humans may like it, yes, but humans also like candy (generally). I think you would find it hard to argue that humans need candy.
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There are different types of needs. Do I need sex to survive? No, but it does my mental health and happiness a lot of good. Do I need to eat anything other than lean beef, fibrous and dark vegetables, and fruit to survive (very healthily)? No, but I'm a lot happier when my diet includes more than that. I can live without a lot of things, but I, personally, wouldn't consider it much of a life.
 
Cyanide Lollipop said:
The species needs sex to survive. The drive to reproduce is very strong in most people.
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I have zero drive to procreate... yet I have a massive sex drive. Personal needs and species needs, especially when people like us, who are wired differently, don't always coincide completely. Depends on the person.
 
I think I should clarify what I meant by NEED.......obviously the human being will not die if they are sexually deprived their whole life but the bottom line that I was trying to get to is: do aspies find sex less appealing in general than NTs do. And if so I am trying to figure out why....thanks guys for all the feedback
 
Sex is a natural biological urge or desire. We do not need sex to live. Celibate people can live healthy lives.
Some people choose to ignore the urge or desire for sex, others have little to no urge for sex. There is nothing wrong with them, it is natural for them.
Hunger for food is a biological urge, because if we do not eat, we do not live. If a male rat is denied food for 24hrs and gets the option of food or a sexy female rat...the male rat always picks the food.
Perhaps some people need other urges or desires fulfilled before the need for sex arises. Perhaps others just don't want it. That is fine too.

Anyone see the episode of the Big Bang Theory where Sheldon describes how his and Amy's relationship is very intimate?
The Big Bang Theory - An Intimate Relationship - YouTube
 
I'm not even going to try to sugar coat this one:

In my situation, it is therapeutic.

There. I said it. The cat is out of the bag... LOL

*is hoping relatives won't see this on google somehow*

Thankfully I have a significant other who is "in agreement". :laugh:
 
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