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Do Aspies/Auties find themselves embarassed at praise or compliments?

M

Mia

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Don't know if this is an aspie/autie difficulty, or if my perception of the world makes me suspicious of everyone. Have a difficult time accepting compliments or positive input, it somehow makes me nervous. Or is this low self-esteem, related to having received few positive interactions in childhood. What do you think? Do you react this way to people indicating to you that you did something well?
 
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I kind of get what you mean - While I accept compliments, I never believe they're sincere. That's kind of where my description comes from.
 
Guilty as charged. I've never handled compliments all that well. Probably is related to low self-esteem in my case, that I attribute to years of being bullied by my peers in public school.

And yes, I don't like that I seem compelled to feel this way. I don't even like admitting as such here...:eek:
 
In my own view, I accept them and thank the person, and secretly enjoy them, but I probably do not show the proper enthusiasm, unless someone compliments me about one of my special interests
 
Compliments make me feel awkward, especially if in person. Possibly low self esteem, maybe being on the spectrum, maybe being British :tearsofjoy:
 
I can't take or give compliments well. I'm much worse at receiving them, though. I occasionally give heatrfelt ones, but can't offer the rote BS ones. For this, I am an a**hole.
 
Well I just want to compliment everyone on this thread for giving us your experiences. Well done, it takes a lot to put these things out there.


Joking aside, I hated being given compliments when I was a child. It felt...it just felt wrong. I don't have this problem any more, in fact this went out of my head for quite a while before someone mentioning this topic. Yeah, don't know why.
 
Not an aspie trait, because I am surrounded by NT's and lived my life as an NT and so, know that most people feel uncomfortable with being complimented and actually this part is probably not an NT; analysing the situation; where as NT just do not delve into the whys and wherefores of it; they are just accept that compliments can be uncomfortable and many don't even care if they are not complimented.

I thrive on compliments, despite being horribly embarrassed when I receive them and to the point of throwing off the compliment, but am working on accepting it at face value.

One chap said to me last year: I don't know why you are hard on yourself, Suzanne, for you have nothing to be ashamed of with your looks. I actually found myself hurriedly thanking him and almost tripping over my words to rush on with the next sentence. I felt ridiculously flattered and horribly embarrassed, all in one go.

I had a little conversation with some NT's and they were saying how funny it is that when a woman is complimented on her skirt of top or dress, she will immediately come out and say things like: oh, this old skirt? Or: cheap as you can get etc etc, never: thank you for the lovely compliment and you made it worthwhile wearing.

Just yesterday at my spiritual meeting, a sister said: I do love the colour of your top ( a royal blue) and I thanked her feeling chuffed and complimented her on the colour of her scalf that is a beautiful salmon pink.
 
embarassment is something i dont feel,but i did grow up being very uncomfortable at accepting praise-to the point of anger and id kick off at people who said i did something good,now days i let people get on with it and i just say thanks but inside i feel uncomfortable.
yes i have low self esteem to thanks to the lifetime of bullying as well as the many oldskool support staff in my past telling me im a burden on society.
 
Compliments make me feel awkward because either I don't feel as if I deserve it - and if I point that out I end up with an earful for putting myself down - or I don't want to agree with them on the compliment and look full of myself.

Having said that, it is always nice to get compliments and I do appreciate them and like to hear them, even if i| don't believe its true.
 
I don't know how to take them and shift uncomfortably. My mother in law compliments me all the time. One time she complimented me on my hair and I replied with something along the lines that the color wasn't quite right. I always say something in reply to a compliment. She finally said, "Well, if you didn't point that out, no on would know!" She was still being nice, but I felt embarrassed. Now I just thank her, but it's hard to not add on, "yes, but..."

I think I give compliments alright because I really mean it. I can't compliment someone if I don't mean it.
 
If it's something related to work or doing something well, then I'm fine. If it's about how I look then I think it's just weird. I just don't know how to respond.
 
Sounds like a low self esteem thing rather than an aspie thing. I'm completely fine with compliments when it is for something I know I am good at or like about myself, it's nice to be appreciated and I enjoy the ego boost. However, if someone compliments me for something I don't think I'm great at or dislike about myself, it makes me a little uncomfortable.
 
Yes yes yes. It is manipulative, and I always feel like, "what are you doing, judging me/my work? Didn't you just recently extoll the virtues of NOT judging people? What is an opinion but judgment?"
 
I guess I have always been a showboat and like validation,but on the same note,shy away from an atta boy when it gets thrown my way.

That probably makes little sense,but the validation I seek is from strangers and not those in my inner circle. I mean if I let you in my circle,that is validation enough to not need patted on the back when I do impress them.
 
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