• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Divine Kindness

Fino

Alex
V.I.P Member
You can interpret "divine" however you'd like. What I'm trying to describe is a kindness that is beyond kindness. I understand it's kind to be polite, to give compliments, to listen, to give, and so on and on. I'm wondering what you think of a deeper kindness, one that touches you in a way far more profound than a simple gesture. Can you think of any examples of this in your life? What do you think of the concept as I attempt to present it? Have you ever met or known someone who was kind on a level higher than you were accustomed to, that perhaps even shocked you?
 
You can interpret "divine" however you'd like. What I'm trying to describe is a kindness that is beyond kindness. I understand it's kind to be polite, to give compliments, to listen, to give, and so on and on. I'm wondering what you think of a deeper kindness, one that touches you in a way far more profound than a simple gesture. Can you think of any examples of this in your life? What do you think of the concept as I attempt to present it? Have you ever met or known someone who was kind on a level higher than you were accustomed to, that perhaps even shocked you?
People here who could have rightfully told me to piss off with my whiny drunkenness but instead told me to go to AA.
 
I was hitch hiking when I was young and got picked up by an old truckie, when we got to the end of his run at Barmera there was a hamburger stand set up in the middle of the town and he set me down right next to it.

He'd already told me that he was headed home to an empty house so I asked if I could buy him a meal to pay for my ride. He refused and I told him that he should let me pay something for his kindness.

He said "You owe a debt for that ride, but it's not me you owe. One day you'll be driving down a country road all by yourself and you'll see some poor bastard hitch hiking, you owe that person.".

I never forgot that.
 
We all are spiritual, and perhaps kindness is just another level to strive for? My grandmother was an angel. I miss her deeply to this day. She never got angry about anything, and she always had a snarky remark just to keep you on your toes. Sad her daughter didn't appreciate her. When she was 82, l bought a ticket for her to come and visit me in Hawaii.
There are other kind people that l know and treasure.
 
Last edited:
I had to visit a dr and a spiritual sister accompanied me, but the room was full and that freaked me out, even though I was with her, so she said to sit in the car and she would wait in the room and when, I was called, she would come and get me and she did.
 
Those others that reach out to assist many others and who are constantly willing to put lots of time and efforts there and trying many ways to help those persons, even regularly over extended time periods, even though their own lives are filled with much daily minute-by-minute stress, lack of time for themselves, and/or dysfunction, and even though the others may be so different from them, not appreciative of the efforts and/or despite any constant complaints, critiques and self-absorption shown from those others and in not giving reciprocal efforts and kindness back. There are a few on this forum I see as very kind like that.

However, I want to tell those very empathetic persons, although I'm that way, too, as I've done that, been there, and know where you are coming from, frankly I feel you deserve better there, as your time can be better spent than on persons who are manipulative, not truthful or toxic and/or who think life revolves around them and their desires and catering to their every need, with those others thinking your time, wisdom and efforts are nothing, and with them being too narrow minded to want to listen much there, or wanting some magic pill or solution there that works overnight which is some fantasy more than reality.

So, in addition to the mentioned further above, extreme kindness sometimes means to me though eventually backing away from any totally self-absorbed, negative or abusive persons and/or telling them assertively in as constructive way as possible what needs to be said, and not enabling them further in those ways there, so as they can help themselves more rather than think they are not part of the problem, and so as they are less apt to think they are entitled to everyone's time and do not even have to engage or take seriously those that truly wanted to help. So, sometimes extreme kindness too means protecting others in the path of that toxic person.
 
Those others that reach out to assist many others and who are constantly willing to put lots of time and efforts there and trying many ways to help those persons, even regularly over extended time periods, even though their own lives are filled with much daily minute-by-minute stress, lack of time for themselves, and/or dysfunction, and even though the others may be so different from them, not appreciative of the efforts and/or despite any constant complaints, critiques and self-absorption shown from those others and in not giving reciprocal efforts and kindness back. There are a few on this forum I see as very kind like that.

However, I want to tell those very empathetic persons, although I'm that way, too, as I've done that, been there, and know where you are coming from, frankly I feel you deserve better there, as your time can be better spent than on persons who are manipulative, not truthful or toxic and/or who think life revolves around them and their desires and catering to their every need, with those others thinking your time, wisdom and efforts are nothing, and with them being too narrow minded to want to listen much there, or wanting some magic pill or solution there that works overnight which is some fantasy more than reality.

So, in addition to the mentioned further above, extreme kindness sometimes means to me though eventually backing away from any totally self-absorbed, negative or abusive persons and/or telling them assertively in as constructive way as possible what needs to be said, and not enabling them further in those ways there, so as they can help themselves more rather than think they are not part of the problem, and so as they are less apt to think they are entitled to everyone's time and do not even have to engage or take seriously those that truly wanted to help. So, sometimes extreme kindness too means protecting others in the path of that toxic person.
I would like to tell empathic individuals, just keep being yourself. There are very few people that don't have issues. Empathic people sometimes are great at getting others to identify the situation and then letting them decide if they wish to change. Some of us truly won't change but we may have a better understanding of ourself.

If anything, l wish there were more empathic individuals in the world.
 
Last edited:
I would like to tell empathic individuals, just keep being yourself. There are very few people that don't have issues. Empathic people sometimes are great at getting others to identify the situation and then letting them decide if they wish to change. Some of us truly won't change but we may have a better understanding of ourself.

Yes, I agree partly there, but I guess my point was those empathetic persons can only do so much for those others. They cannot do everything. It's not their job to spend weeks, months or more getting burned out by certain persons, when there are tons of other persons out there who would either gladly accept their assistance more, show more appreciation there, show more results there, make the best use of that time there, or give just as many reciprocating efforts and kindness back. Too often those who give too much or are too kind can be taken advantage of.

So, what I am saying, it is OK for those persons to want to help some or lots of persons, but I hope they do not feel pressure to do more than they can or that shows is deserved for that situation, and as they can put themselves first too, and they can pick and choose who they want to help, back away too if their attempts are going nowhere, in order to help others who could be assisted more. They say time is worth money, but to me it's more precious than that. None of us here live forever, so in my case, I will make the best use of my time and be smart about it and not worry too much about things I cannot control.
 
Last edited:
Yes, I agree partly there, but I guess my point was those empathetic persons can only do so much for those others. They cannot do everything. It's not their job to spend weeks, months or more getting burned out by certain persons, when there are tons of other persons out there who would either gladly accept their assistance more, show more appreciation there, show more results there, make the best use of that time there, or give just as many reciprocating efforts and kindness back. Too often those who give too much or are too kind can be taken advantage of.

So, what I am saying, it is OK for those persons to want to help some or lots of persons, but I hope they do not feel pressure to do more than they can or that shows is deserved for that situation, and as they can put themselves first too, and they can pick and choose who they want to help, back away too if their attempts are going nowhere, in order to help others who could be assisted more. They say time is worth money, but to me it's more precious than that. None of us here live forever, so in my case, I will make the best use of my time and be smart about it and not worry too much about things

I don't think empathic people are trying to change the world, or change people. Some empathic people can't just turn themselves off. Just like serial video gamers can't turn themselves off. We all walk different paths, l chose not to tell people what to do with their time. I assume they are doing what they want to, including being a couch potatos. Lol
 
I don't think empathic people are trying to change the world, or change people. Some empathic people can't just turn themselves off. Just like serial video gamers can't turn themselves off. We all walk different paths, l chose not to tell people what to do with their time. I assume they are doing what they want to, including being a couch potatos. Lol

Remember this thread was not about simple kindness, but when kindness is divine or showing very much, more than typical levels..
 
Remember this thread was not about simple kindness, but when kindness goes too far.
Yes, however l was addressing your post, not the OP. Who just seemed interested in the general concept, not specifically connected to going to far. Divine kindness and going to far seem a tab different to me. Anyways, l find your input interesting to read. :)
 
Yes, however l was addressing your post, not the OP. Who just seemed interested in the general concept, not specifically connected to going to far.
Yes, I used the wrong words there "going too far" so I changed those words. The op asked for specific examples of excessive kindness. I did so, as I am excessively kind. So, I gave examples that showed how I was excessively kind, more than typical kindness that can be superficial at times. Actions and inactions can speak louder than words.
 
Yes, I used the wrong words there "going too far" so I changed those words. The op asked for specific examples of excessive kindness. I did so, as I am excessively kind. So, I gave examples that showed how I was excessively kind, more tha typical kindness that can be superficial at times. Actions and inactions can speak louder than words.
Excessive kindness can also have a negative connotation, which is different then Divine kindness. But we all read the written word differently, so therein lies the problem. Anyhoo, always enjoy reading your posts, (said with just kindness. Lol)
 
Excessive kindness can also have a negative connotation, which is different then Divine kindness. But we all read the written word differently, so therein lies the problem. Anyhoo, always enjoy reading your posts, (said with just kindness. Lol)

Thanks. I am not religious, so divine to me just means great.
 
I was hitch hiking when I was young and got picked up by an old truckie, when we got to the end of his run at Barmera there was a hamburger stand set up in the middle of the town and he set me down right next to it.

He'd already told me that he was headed home to an empty house so I asked if I could buy him a meal to pay for my ride. He refused and I told him that he should let me pay something for his kindness.

He said "You owe a debt for that ride, but it's not me you owe. One day you'll be driving down a country road all by yourself and you'll see some poor bastard hitch hiking, you owe that person.".

I never forgot that.

I had a near identical experience but with trains in Europe.
 
What I liked about the act of that old truckie so much was the fact that his kindness was presented in a way that made it self perpetuating. Of course I picked up a few hitch hikers over the years, and those that wanted to repay the favour as I did got told the same story. Perhaps some of them will also repeat it.
 
I was travelling by myself in Scotland and was between plans. I had stayed in Edinburgh at a friend's home, and was on my way the next week to stay with a minister in Dundee, and had decided to use the time between to stay in hostels and make my way on a pilgrimage to the Isle of Iona. I got there safely, but i didn't plan ahead about checking to make sure there was somewhere to stay! Unfortunately, the only hostel on the island was completely full, so I was walking around looking for a good spot to sleep outside when a woman came out from her house and asked if I had somewhere to sleep that night! I told her that the hostel was full, and she offered to let me stay in the extra room at her home. I took her up on the offer and she was so kind, she made me dinner and tea and then we went to the service at the abbey that evening. One of my most memorable travel experiences!
 
You can interpret "divine" however you'd like. What I'm trying to describe is a kindness that is beyond kindness. I understand it's kind to be polite, to give compliments, to listen, to give, and so on and on. I'm wondering what you think of a deeper kindness, one that touches you in a way far more profound than a simple gesture. Can you think of any examples of this in your life? What do you think of the concept as I attempt to present it? Have you ever met or known someone who was kind on a level higher than you were accustomed to, that perhaps even shocked you?
A neighbour took me miles to a free vet clinic and wouldn't take any money for petrol, im certain there are others, but panic disorder has literally taken a huge amount of any memories i had
 
I have seen more examples of "divine" kindness than I can recall at this moment (I will add more as I remember them), but I do remember one that brought me to tears upon witnessing it.

My wife and I had three cats. Unfortunately, cats have too short a lifespan - only about 17 years. They have all passed and deeply and permanently devastated me with each passing. They lived with us as people. Each with very distinct personalities. Each of them clearly deeply appreciated being rescued and living with us in our home. They loved living with us and being one of us.

Callie was a small female and was the unquestioned alpha cat. She demanded control over everything. She even kept track of me and my wife's activities and made sure we were always doing what we were supposed to be doing and when we were supposed to be doing it.

All were rescue cats. The youngest and last rescued was named BJ. He was a solid black Maine Coon. Callie never warmed up to him and never played with him. She would scold him anytime he tried to play with her. She always turned a cold shoulder to him. She never attacked him or tried to hurt him, she was just never friendly with him.

BJ suffered an eye issue that required surgery. He came home with a cone collar and he was clearly miserable. It was clear that he was depressed as he just gave up trying to navigate the kitchen. Callie was lying on the window seat observing. Usually, she is totally indifferent to anything BJ would do. But, this time she was attentive. Shortly after BJ just stopped in his state of depression, Callie got down and walked over to him and gave him a face rub. (Face and head rubs are a universal feline gesture of affection.) BJ, and me, was taken aback, as she had never shown anything but disdain for him before. With that, he got up and continued with his navigation efforts. Callie then went back to the window seat. As I mentioned, this brought me to tears. You would have to know Callie and BJ to really understand the significance of that.

"Divine" kindness is not exclusive, nor even dominant, to humans.
 
Have you ever considered a hungry lion might actually develop a "divine" kindness to protect a baby deer from another hungry lion?
 

New Threads

Top Bottom